Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

I treat OLD in the same way I flicked through the Argos catalogue as a kid. Something to do when I've got a moment, some things are shiny and I covet them like I coveted a Mr Frosty, others are confusing and strange looking like the homewares section.

We can debate all we like, I’m assuming we are all or mainly women. Really we need to ask a wide section of men both married and single because that’s the group you want to date.

@TheDeepLemonHelper I also just asked DH, I am 58 and size 10 and very occasionally a 12 depending on shop. I was an 8 when we got married almost 26 years ago. He also said age wasn’t so much a thing but that he would still prefer slim.

I just can’t deal with the whole OLD thing. I think you have to have plenty of free time to make it work and I have hardly any.

Im late forties and a similar size. I definitely felt more attractive about 8 yrs ago when I was first out of a marriage and was much slimmer. That was before peri menopause though!

I think I just don’t have the time or energy for OLD so in a sense I have no idea if the fact I’m slightly bigger or older would be off putting. Friends in a similar position seem to get dates!

Yes, absolutely

You need to be a size ten ideally

From the sounds of it you should change your diet.

Oh god, I just lost a bunch of weight to get to that point - and am considering losing the weight of the "D"H ... maybe I just stay?! FFS.

OP, its not you, its them darling.

Now, you aren't obese but here are some more opinions on the matter:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5207629-to-wonder-if-obesity-is-unattractive-to-most-men?page=8&reply=139763297

What dating sites are you using?
Unfortunately OD has given somewhat average men unrealistic expectations as to what kind of women they can meet (ie. Women in their 20s. My DN even had men in their 60s message her when she was on sites at 19!) however if they are looking for a serious relationship, at your age range, most men just want a decent kind person. Let's face it, most people will be divorced/kids/exes in the background etc and they just want someone to be happy with, body size is not hugely up there when it comes to priorities. Attraction comes in many forms not just body size & weight.

My friend who is late 40s is a size 16/18 5'5, very well groomed (make up artist by profession) and is never short of dates from OD. She is very confident though, it would never cross her mind her figure is what would put someone off.

Lose weight because you want to lose weight not because you think men want a slimmer woman. Upload some pictures of you in a more casual look as well as your glamorous look. People don't like deceit, it's not that they don't like curvier women.

It's more than likely age, men seem to be under the illusion that a woman 20 years younger them would be best. My widowed Mum tried online dating, she was mid fifties and receiving messages from men aged 70-80! Decided not to bother in end.

I met my DH OLD when I was 47 and he was 50. He goes to the gym most days and is built. i was fit but a size 14 except my stomach ( 3 c sections and a 25kgs weight loss), which I had to hide well with dresses. He didn't care. I did have a tummy tuck when I was 49 as I hated my over hang desperately. He seriously did not care care at all, and both his previous long term girlfriends had never had kids and were fit.

But I dress well, am financially and socially independent and fun. That added to my perceived 'value' I guess.

OP, just be you. 'Men shag vacuum cleaners' was my mantra when I felt nervous before dates

You’re not enormously overweight at that height and you are clearly now leading an active lifestyle and are well groomed so I doubt it’s about your figure.

Confidence is attractive so I’d just work on your own self confidence and perhaps widen your search a bit if you’ve been looking for a specific ‘type’ you never know someone may surprise you.

"Its your body that men seem to dislike"

They message you and tell you they don't like your body? Hard to believe.

It's the age. I know men who are in their 40's/50's who only date women younger than 30...

Overweight women are not as attractive to most men as slimmer women.

50s men will also be looking at women in their 30s and 40s too so your “competition” isn’t just women your age.

Sadly this is a thing. My lovely 60 year old friend is constantly messaged by men in their 70s and above looking for a partner. She doesn't want to be a carer so isn't interested.

I was very confused about why keeping chickens was a deal breaker…
14-16 is average size, but I think the whole concept of OLD encourages totally average middle aged men to think only a size 8 25 yr old will do.

I'm overweight by about the same amount, I won't date until I've lost weight because I want to be the best me and attract the men I like. It's going to be a long time and perimenopause shows no sign of fucking off either😂.

I don't buy the age thing, it's never stopped me and most men don't want someone much younger than them, they want someone at the same life stage as them in my experience. I'd say I have more in common with a 37 year old than someone who is 57 (and that's 10 years either way).

Are you getting matches/dates?

I think the main thing with online dating is being honest about yourself, and that goes for both parties. Having recent photographs that genuinely reflect who you are today. Do you have some pictures of your whole body on your profile?

It doesn’t make sense to me when men have pictures from 5 years ago before they started balding, and claim to be 6’1 when they turn up to a date at 5’8!

Likewise for a woman who has a slim attractive face to ‘conceal’ if they are curvier or fuller figured.

Be upfront and let the people who like what they see find you.

I’d think age not size.
So the 50 yr old men think they can attract late 30s/early 40s.
It’s probably 60s and above men looking at 50 plus women.
Height too. Lots of men don’t want taller female partner.

Yes.

How do the online men know what your body looks like @lemonepisode1 ? If you are fully clothed, how can they tell that you have a meno belly?

If they aren't interested, then they aren't interested and it is unlikely to have anything to do with your meno tummy or that you are slightly overweight. Have you had a friend give your photos and profile a once over? Sometimes what we think looks good isn't always what best reflects us. If you don't want to have a friend look at your photos, then try some different ones yourself to see if a different photo or two might generate more interest. It is so easy to take your own photos now with timers on phones. It is also a good idea to refresh your profile and photos from time to time as well.

I am mid 50s and met DP in my early 50s online. He is younger than me, so don't buy into all the shit about middle aged men only going for younger women. One of my friends is even older than me and also met her now DH online and he was younger than her too. We are both really ordinary looking middle aged women, not so much as a fake eyelash between us!

I think age is definitely a factor - men want women who are younger, often significantly so, than they are.

But also, when dating, let's be honest, attractive figures ar a thing. I'd argue that size 14, well groomed, well styled, would not be a huge barrier (within the admittedly smaller pool of men due to the age thing) but size 16 is starting to get trickier. I am size 16. I am not unattractive, I can look good on a night out etc. But I am, without question, overweight. One assumes that while some men would not have an issue with that, some would. And as the dating pool is already smaller, that becomes a problem.

Chickens no, but an unruly cock might cause issues.