Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

If you're 5ft 7 and a size 14/16 I'm surprised you're 2.5 stone overweight. I'm 5ft 6 and a size 14 , menopausal and I could put on another stone before my BMI crept into the overweight category. Are you sure you need to lose as much as that? You might look better than you think.

Unfortunately for us older women, a lot of the men our age aren't actually deluded at all. They do get younger women, when on the face of it they have nothing going for them!

I knew 2 men in their mid - late 50s, one from work, one from a hobby. Both managed to somehow find women in their late 30's/early 40's, smart and attractive women, who wanted to date them. Neither man was much in the looks department, neither was wealthy, and their personalities were ok but nothing exceptional.

There is a dire shortage of "good men" so women in their late 30s and 40s who get fed up with being messed around, end up going older. Because any good prospect of their own age is going for someone late 20s/early 30s.

That's how it goes so realistically, once you're in your 50s, then its 60's and above. Sure there will be exceptions but in the main, that's the dating pool. The only other exception is a much younger man who wants to date an older woman, usually because he has some older woman fantasy! But that won't lead to a relationship.

I think it depends how you carry the weight and how you dress. A 14-16 with an hourglass shape who wears clothes that show of her curves is probably very attractive to most men. I carry all my weight on my stomach and thighs, and at a size 16 I looked big and frumpy.

In your position I would focus on my health first. Getting into a healthy weight range would be my priority.

Yes, the delusion is strong. They're very unhappy human beings and best avoided purely on that basis.

Stay off the apps.
Make and cultivate friends dships irl.
Live your best life, doing whatever brings you joy.
Eat a healthy diet, and attend to health issues promptly.
Get enough sleep.
Quit smoking and cut down drinking (menopause plus drinking = problems).

There are a lot of available men out there who are actually happy to be single, deep down, and they are on dating sites purely to feed their delusion that they are super-attractive guys who don't have to settle for anything less than perfection.

They reject most women near their own age and are either initially or ultimately rejected by younger women for reasons they refuse to accept.

If they get a few dates with a younger woman it feeds their egos to be seen out with someone they think reflects their own attractiveness and status, something a woman of 50 something with a meno belly can't offer. They're basically insecure and come with all sorts of unattractive traits.

The problem is 80% of women are going for 20% of the men on these site so those men seem to have all the choice and the pick of the bunch. 80% of men get v few or if any interested. SO yes I think with OLD being overweight will work against you if it is those men you are interested in. Some won't care but you will be competing, for lack of a better word , with slimer and in some cases younger women .. they don't have to be substanically younger either

I should hope so!having chickens should tip the scale in anyone’s favour!!!!

So you have met men irl as you are commenting on how they appear irl.

Are you saying that men seem interested in you until they meet you in person? If so, then it can’t be age as they already know that, and they probably know about your life stage too. So it must be chemistry. That is a combination of physical attraction and personality. So perhaps your weight is one factor, but it could be any combination - maybe Man A likes a bit of meat on a woman’s bones but didn’t gel with your personality, while Man B really enjoyed your company but is only attracted to slimmer women. I think, though, that men who have a really strong preference for slim women are going to know from your photo that you are not for them, so not convinced your weight is the reason. It just takes a lot of trial and error to meet the right person.

I'd be more concerned about being 2.5st overweight and work on that rather than worry about what the other sex make of a size 14/16....

So hang on. You are saying that you think they don't want to date you Because of your weight, but then you are actually not prepared to date a guy because they are shorter or any other issues.

^

Yip

🙄

Does it really matter? I mean, if the majority of men you asked (and I don’t think there are very many on here tbh) said yes, would you try to lose weight? If they said they like big boobs (and you don’t), are you going to wear padding? get implants? If they said they prefer blondes would you dye your hair? Even at that, it might not actually work.

So hang on. You are saying that you think they don't want to date you Because of your weight, but then you are actually not prepared to date a guy because they are shorter or any other issues.
That comes across a bit shallow if them guys are decent maybe they are embarrassed about their looks to that's why they try to hide it.

Seriously most men on OLD get very little interest and most of them will not have their pick. It depends on what circles you move in but the vast majority of 50 year olds are not dating women in their 30s and I’d say many of them wouldn’t want to either. Look around at the couples you see out and about - loads of them will have met online.
I doubt it’s any particular thing OP. It’s just quite hard to find people online although given that’s how most relationships start now, definitely not impossible.

I honestly think that is too simplistic @Lionsdenoffools . I online dated on and off for over 15 years and met plenty of perfectly pleasant men who were not looking to date young women. Of course there are pricks out there, but there are some really unpleasant women too.

Youth is absolutely not the beauty standard that most men love. That's like saying that muscles are the beauty standard that most women love. I think we are all a bit more nuanced than that.

So basically men want to date their very young adult daughters friends 🤮

They try to convince us it’s evolution and to keep the population going, but women learn most men don’t even like children once they have them.

Youth is the beauty standard that men love most. That is all it comes down to and naivety of younger women, easier to control and manipulate.

Dirty dicks.

Yes, it's so blindingly obvious it seems silly to say it aloud. No wonder most men walk away from online dating so utterly defeated and rejected with only 10% of men amassing any interest at all if they all think their in the dating pool of thin, beautiful women decades younger than themselves.

Have you been on any dates, @lemonepisode1 ?

Id be surprised if it’s your size as I am about that, as well as tall and really had no problem with it on online dating at around your age.

I just approached it with no expectations, the hide of a rhino, and had really strict boundaries. I think meeting quickly after starting chat is a good thing and stops the waste of investment in things that aren’t starter.

There are plenty men who want to date someone their own age.

I agree. I’m 42 and have no interest in men 50 and over.

Men in their 50s may well be “looking” at women in their 30s and 40s but - unless the man in question is some kind of glamorous tycoon - why would the women in their 30s or 40s be looking at them?

This is not meant to be an attack on you - but I feel this mentality is really damaging and unrealistic.

Certainly things were different back in the day when men had the economic power and women had to “compete” with each other using their looks as bait. But that is no longer the reality. And if men persist in holding onto these unrealistic expectations of a bygone age, it prevents healthy relationships between men and women as equals.

It's online dating, isn't it? When you reduce partners down to shopping for parts. Yes, men prefer younger women, that's probably entirely evolutionary. But I don't think that people are so strategic or reductionist in the flesh - when the warmth of connection supercedes the data matches.

I nodded along to that - I’ve had chickens. They’re a nightmare 😂

That's normal size but you would need to be willing to date 10-20 years older to expand options

@nam3c4ang3 "It's the age. I know men who are in their 40's/50's who only date women younger than 30..."

And these women are receptive and open to dating men so much older? They must be wealthy men or in seriously good shape without pot bellies and balding heads to pull such younger women.

Most men OLD are utterly deluded as to their physical appeal. They think they are seriously gorgeous. It's really amusing.

I don't go near those OLD sites now. They are not useful at all.

Op, just go out a lot. Don't say no to any invitation to socialise. Have lots of fun. If you meet someone romantically then great. If not then it's important you're ok with that too.

Yep. It’s your age, not your weight.