Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

Based on my own experiences a few years ago, there are a lot of delusional men out there.

My friend who was in her early 50’s had a lot of success with OLD. She posted natural photos of herself and all the men said they thought she actually looked prettier in real life. OP maybe include less dressed up photos on your profile.

Thats the thing. When I was dating, I met 2 guys before I jacked it in (I hated it but that's another story).

One guy was the same age as me (literally by days) and the other one was 6 years younger. I'm sure they both could have gone for women much younger than them, they were both successful, home owners, good looking, took care of themselves but they didn't they chose a woman of 43, someone they had things in common with. I find the age thing gets thrown about all the time on here when in reality all people want is someone they have things in common with and who they actually find attractive.

You need to be simultaneously more fussy and less fussy. Chat with almost anyone, don't judge too harshly immediately.

If they lie, seem too evasive, have awful grammar, make lewd suggestions or break your boundaries - block them. OLD is a numbers game.

As with PP meet up for a coffee in a busy place in a reasonable time frame. Reject everyone you want to.

The biggest compliment you can give each other on OLD is "you're just like your profile".

You are nowhere near the only middle aged woman to have a tummy. Are you the healthy, vibrant, sociable woman that the type of man you want to be with, would want to be with?

Honestly it would be great if that was true, all women were saints like you describe but I can sssure you many do not put their kids first, and for every man that cheated, he did it with a woman.

I tried OLD a few years ago as size 18 fifty something and had lots of offers.
14/16 is pretty normal size wise.
Of course imo the vast majority of men are selfish, shallow shits but you will get lots of contacts.
Then comes the issue of panning for gold amongst dross.

OP I am sorry that dating has made you question your value. How dare a man who lies about his own attributes then go on and judge anyone?
You need the thickest of skins to venture into that world. Best of luck. I am a fellow in size and age and am generally puzzled as to why anyone in our position wants to take on a man again. I am so happy and at peace being single.
Not a man hater, just a realist. There are some wonderful men out there it’s just going to be a very hard road to find them.

I think its the same as women, some people will have preferences some people won't care. I don't find overweight men attractive, my friend exclusively dates overweight men, some people don't care either way.

The ones with daddy issues are 26 year olds wanting to date 40 something men.

Single women of 40 or 50 have kids that come first because they got divorced from their husband cheating on them. A man is secondary. But yes they are better than the men.
Single men of 40 or 50 are either the divorced ones that did the cheating or have an online gaming addiction and don't like going outside.

She not judging them for any of that. She judging them for lying about it.
OP is fretting about being an average size and the men she’s met are just lying about their average ‘shortcomings’.
She actually went on dates with these liars so you’re wrong. 🙄

Well, off is subjective. Someone with their own little house, and a 40 - 50 grand wage coming in is considered well off to someone on minimum wage or benefits.

I honestly don’t think most men think like that, even at that age they are looking for someone who looks good and who is going to get naked. Trust me they ain’t on the apps thinking they need a carer. They are on the apps looking for someone they’d pop viagra for

The older gents probably wanted an attractive woman to act as their carer as tey get older & more infirm.

It is only attractive and well off men that can date that much younger. Unless they are multi millionaires, then they don’t need to be attractive.

Honestly if I had to date again at my age, I would lose half a stone and get a tummy tuck actually. I am about a size 12-14.

I’ve a male friend on the apps in your age range. I can say from watching him, and his anecdotes of other males who are divorced on them who are in his wider friendship circle, one of whom I know, age isn’t a barrier, they date age m appropriate and older women, they doesn’t care, basically they just want a woman who adores them and wants to have sex with them, but I’m afraid a slim figure is indeed important to many of them. As sex is important.

yes they want a relationship, someone to do something with, spend time with, go to things together with, but really someone to give them regular sex, Is way up there. All the women he and others have dated past a first date, have been slim, and ranged from late forties to early 60s.

There is not a dire shortage of good men, that gets put out all the time. Are all the single women at 40 or 50 not good women then? If not then not all men are bad either

You're ignoring the fact that generally speaking, men and women are different.

How many women pretend to a guy that they want a relationship to get them into bed? I'd wager not as many women as men! Most women aren't looking at OLD as a means of racking up notches on their bed posts. Whereas a lot of men have a kid in a sweet shop mentality. Add to that men are more influenced by porn. They're more likely to view it regularly and more likely to want to act out what they see. Sure some women might be the same, but again far less common.

Lots of older single men have lost out in a divorce or just otherwise never really got their lives together. So are looking for a woman to move in with. Women are usually far more settled and already have a proper home. Again there's exceptions obviously but most men move in with the woman, not vice versa.

In society as a whole, we still have a long way to go to equality. Look at all the posts on here of women doing all the chores, carrying the "mental load". Men are fully capable of taking care of themselves, when they have to. Does it mean they'll pull their weight in a relationship, not necessarily.

I'm not saying women have no faults and men are all "bad". But you can't compare the two. It doesn't work that way. We are different.

I just chatted to my DH (age 58), he said he would date similar aged women or from about 45 upwards. The things he would look out for are slimness, interesting hobbies, being active , having a zest for life and a pretty face.

More likely age. When my DSis tried, she was only ever approached by men who were at least 10 years older who quickly tried to bring up the subject of 'caring for a partner in older life'. She stopped OLD.

Two options:

1. Men can have kids at all ages but a woman's fertile period is smalker, therefore men are biologically programmed to find women attractive when they are at their most fertile.

2. Men are superficial and disgusting.

Either way, a lot of men treat women as annoying irrelevant 'Karens' once they hit 40s/50s and are no longer 'useful'. It's depressing if you live your life looking for male validation. Sadly, as we live in a patriarchal society, it's hard to avoid.

having been overweight and single and slim and single at different ages I think that size is much more important than age. Moreover you can’t change your age. I think men would always love to date 21 year olds with model physique and no baggage but most are realistic about their actual prospects.

Agreed @MargoLivebetter

@XxSideshowAuntSallyx honestly, it is not depressing and I say that as someone who internet dated from ages 36-51. I had my best dates towards the end of those years, mostly because I grew in confidence and happiness with myself and then when nearly 52 I met lovely DP.

There is no shortage of anything at all and just like in all aspects of life, there are good people and not so good people to be met. There are plenty of men who want to date similar aged women. I am an ordinary looking middle aged woman (much as I'd love to believe I'm something special) and I had no difficulty dating men my own age at all. I don't live in central London either, before someone lobs that old chestnut in!

How fucking depressing. I really dread hitting 50 and being a single woman, if all I have are people about to retire.

I'm not sure what 20 something would want to date a 40 something man. I have a friend who is 26 and as much as I love him you can tell the age difference.

There is not a dire shortage of good men, that gets put out all the time. Are all the single women at 40 or 50 not good women then? If not then not all men are bad either.