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Original poster

Should 4-5 year olds or younger know about money etc

56 replies

kifchanetta · 13/11/2024 07:21

I've met this mum through school who is pretty judgemental towards others.

She said she didn't want her child hanging around one of the other kids, because the dad pretended to be a dragon once at a kids party and was chasing the kids around. She thought that was stupid...

Anyway, she really does think her parenting is pretty amazing. She tries to lecture me a bit sometimes about parenting and what I should and shouldn't do.

I'm a very respectful person and would never talk that way about anyone or overstep with others. I find it hard to assert myself in situations when someone is clearly overstepping with me and people just keep going until I either blow up or just avoid them altogether. Not all people are like this mum though and overstep, most people are polite and respectful towards me. Occasionally I come across these overstepping types that think they know everything better, unfortunately.

One thing I noticed is that she is really proud of herself for instilling an amazing work ethic in her child from 3,4,5 years of age. Telling her child they don't have money for XYZ toy or holiday etc.

She also does this bit with her child where she goes ' what do we need to do to get nice things ? ' and the child goes ' work ' and she goes, what do we get when we work, and the child goes ' money '.. she seems really proud of herself for his little skit. She tried to do it on my child and my child just didn't get it and again, it seemed to be something she got all up on her high horse about- how kids need to know about the value of money etc etc.

My child is 4. I haven't discussed money with her really to a great degree. I've explained that we need money to buy things and that her dad and I work to buy things we need for our family. That's about it. I don't think she should be worrying about us not having money and things like that yet. She's so young. I grew up, always worrying about not having enough money and my parents arguing over money from a young age and I don't want my children to worry about this stuff.

Anyway, what does everyone think ? Am I not bringing my children up to work hard ? I will introduce the notion of working for pocket money and the likes, when they get a bit older. But I don't think at 4 they need to be worrying about whether we have money or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
kifchanetta · 13/11/2024 07:35

Takoneko · 13/11/2024 07:33

She sounds a bit annoying but I think it’s normal to teach small children about the concept of money. I was definitely told from a really young age that “money doesn’t grow on trees” and my parents had to work to earn it. I think most people start with that to build an understanding of why you can’t just have everything you want and why it’s not polite to ask for things all the time. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong by not talking about these things, your kid is 4 and you have plenty of time, but her conversation with her child sounds totally normal to me.

I have said that we work for money etc. I just don't categorically do stuff like say ' no you can't have this toy because I don't have money '. Or ' you can choose to get this toy, or we go on holiday instead. '

OP posts:
Takoneko · 13/11/2024 07:33

She sounds a bit annoying but I think it’s normal to teach small children about the concept of money. I was definitely told from a really young age that “money doesn’t grow on trees” and my parents had to work to earn it. I think most people start with that to build an understanding of why you can’t just have everything you want and why it’s not polite to ask for things all the time. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong by not talking about these things, your kid is 4 and you have plenty of time, but her conversation with her child sounds totally normal to me.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 13/11/2024 07:31

Hmmmm DS is 5 and never worries about money as in, we can't afford stuff. But I do offer him 50p here and there for small chores (outside of his normal ones) so he can buy a Kinder egg when we go to the corner shop - if he doesn't have the cash he won't be getting one 😂

He also knows I work very hard so we can do nice/fun things. I think this is important as we're a single parent household and he might feel hard done by when I need to travel for work/use my laptop in the evenings 🙃 Instead it's 'oh mummy, you're working so we can go on holiday!' Or something along those lines.

PrioritisePleasure24 · 13/11/2024 07:30

I don’t think it hurts to educate children age appropriately as they grow that money isn’t magic. Especially as it’s more digital and card based nowadays some children won’t see much of actual money. Children do need to understand how we get money and that everything costs money.

Though op your friend sounds annoying tbh

CrazyCatLady008 · 13/11/2024 07:26

Children at that age can't really grasp the concept of money value so no.

Also stop being friends with her she sounds like a twat.

Soontobe60 · 13/11/2024 07:25

It doesn’t sound like her child is worrying about money. She’s instilling in them a sense of having a work ethic. That’s only a good thing surely? Otherwise you’d be raising a spoiled child who thinks money grows on trees.