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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be losing hope that my cat will come back?

54 replies

sadkittymum · 12/11/2024 23:10

I rescued my lovely cat around nine months ago. He was an ex stray/semi feral but very friendly. He was very poorly and we fixed him (I’m a vet, although new to cat ownership!). He lived with us in our flat then we moved to a house about six weeks ago. He escaped a couple of weeks back (we have been keeping him indoors) but only went as far as my neighbours garden and we managed to get him back in quite quickly. Since then he has been meowing to go out. I would let him out but he is on medication and I wanted to be 100% sure he was ready. I also don’t currently have a cat flap. He escaped again last night at about half six and is yet to return.

This time, unlike last time, he must have gone further afield as there’s no trace of him anywhere. I’ve been out countless times today to look, called him from the porch, put his litter tray out etc etc. Not a trace of him. He is on all the local groups and nothing. I thought he was eating the food I’d left out but I think it’s a different cat on the estate thats stealing it. It’s now been about 30 hours and I’m terrified he’s not coming home.

I miss him so much. I don’t know how I’m going to do tomorrow morning without him he always comes into bed with me in the morning before I get up. I’ve been crying on and off all day. My partner works long hours (even longer than mine) including overnights away and he really is my little soulmate. I can’t bear this. Neither of us work from home so there’s not even going to be anyone around in the day to let him in even if he does show up. I just can’t see him coming back.

any positive stories where people’s cats have shown up after a few days? I’m worried sick about him.

OP posts:
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Katemax82 · 21/06/2025 23:18

My sons cat was missing 7 WEEKS! We only got him back because we put Up posters around our village and somone in a road literally the other side of the railway crossing from us texted they had seen him in their road which has vast woodland at the end of it. He must have been exploring the woods all that time and tried to get home because he was painfully thin after 7 weeks away. Hes fully back to health now. Another cat we thought might be him we saw on nextdoor turned out to have been lost for 9 months!!!

BloodandGlitter · 21/06/2025 22:45

Laura95167 · 21/06/2025 21:05

20mins by car is still doable by a cat. Defo check

It might be a bit late Laura since this was posted in November and OP found the cat.

Laura95167 · 21/06/2025 21:05

sadkittymum · 12/11/2024 23:18

Thanks so much for this. We’ve moved a good 20 mins down the road by car so I don’t think he would manage that.
yes my main worry is we have no cat flap. So he doesn’t really have a way of getting back in as I can’t just leave the front door wide open all night, and all the windows open up too high. I’ve got the garage open and set up for him so I’m hoping he comes and hides out in there. I’m just so worried, I’m hoping his stray cat roots serve him well and he’s just gone on an adventure!

20mins by car is still doable by a cat. Defo check

HereIComeMelbourne · 14/11/2024 09:15

Yay, so happy he's home.

JohnTheRevelator · 13/11/2024 16:14

So happy to hear this. 😊

stormsandsunshine · 13/11/2024 15:57

OldTinHat · 13/11/2024 06:15

Genuine question, do cat owners not put a tracker on their cat to see where it goes?

I don't think many do, no. First, a tracker means a cat has to wear a collar, and there's a risk-benefit trade off for collars on cats, as they can get caught on things and harm or even kill them (some cat charities are very anti collar as a result). Quick release collars are the only safe ones, but cats who don't like wearing collars are good at getting them off, so then your expensive tracker risks getting lost halfway up a tree. Plus trackers are bulky, expensive (the ones I looked into involve a high monthly fee), need batteries replacing or charging etc, or may just go out of signal.

I've never seen a tracker on a cat in real life, and practically every house on our street has a cat.

StandingSideBySide · 13/11/2024 14:48

Yay so pleased he’s back 👏👏👏👏
land Thankyou for letting us know!

JudyKing · 13/11/2024 13:51

Just seen he’s back, yay 🙌

SharpOpalNewt · 13/11/2024 13:49

sadkittymum · 13/11/2024 05:29

GUYS HES BACK!!!
My boyfriend left for work at 5 this morning and called out for him and he appeared from the neighbours garden. He picked him up, woke me up and deposited him on the bed for me! He was very hungry and is quite snotty (he’s missed some medication) but otherwise seems absolutely fine. He’s currently purring at my feet. All is well in my world again!
thanks for all your lovely words - next step get a cat flap and a tracker!

Ah amazing, that's great.

SharpOpalNewt · 13/11/2024 13:49

I would go out looking for him and calling him every day and if he doesn't come back in another day or so make some leaflets for your neighbours asking them to check their sheds/garages.

JudyKing · 13/11/2024 13:46

My mum’s cat strolled in without a care in the world after 6 months. She found out that a neighbour about 5 minutes away had been feeding him 🤷‍♀️ I’ve heard lots of similar stories so there’s definitely hope.

Thursdaygirl · 13/11/2024 13:39

sadkittymum · 13/11/2024 05:29

GUYS HES BACK!!!
My boyfriend left for work at 5 this morning and called out for him and he appeared from the neighbours garden. He picked him up, woke me up and deposited him on the bed for me! He was very hungry and is quite snotty (he’s missed some medication) but otherwise seems absolutely fine. He’s currently purring at my feet. All is well in my world again!
thanks for all your lovely words - next step get a cat flap and a tracker!

YAY!!!!! Delighted for you :)

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/11/2024 13:33

Yay 😺

Deargodletitgo · 13/11/2024 13:14

After one of mine went missing for 5 days he now wears a tracker. Such great news he's back!

JMSA · 13/11/2024 13:10

sadkittymum · 13/11/2024 05:29

GUYS HES BACK!!!
My boyfriend left for work at 5 this morning and called out for him and he appeared from the neighbours garden. He picked him up, woke me up and deposited him on the bed for me! He was very hungry and is quite snotty (he’s missed some medication) but otherwise seems absolutely fine. He’s currently purring at my feet. All is well in my world again!
thanks for all your lovely words - next step get a cat flap and a tracker!

Whoooooo!!!

Katemax82 · 13/11/2024 12:33

My cat went missing for 7 weeks in the summer and I spent 7 weeks believing he was dead as the day after he went missing a dead cat was found 5 miles away and I went to investigate but the poor things head was missing but otherwise looked like him. Because I wasn't 100% sure I was him I still put posters up and did everything else you're supposed to do and 7 weeks later he turned up a few streets away skinny as a rake! Poor boy must have got lost in the woods nearby. Don't lose hope your cat could very well be found xx

The13thFairy · 13/11/2024 08:25

I once knew a cat who returned after twenty days, a bit thinner and scruffier but quite well. Hope yours is back soon.

Chickydoo · 13/11/2024 07:56

How wonderful, they like to keep us on our toes!!

VestaTilley · 13/11/2024 07:52

Just seen he’s back! Yay!

VestaTilley · 13/11/2024 07:51

Put some of your unwashed clothes and his litter tray in the garage so he can smell his way home. Then keep revisiting your old flat/neighbourhood to see if he’s managed somehow to get back there. Really hope you get him back!

FuzzyPuffling · 13/11/2024 07:34

Happy happy..
I'm so pleased for you and cat.

Passwordsaremynemesis · 13/11/2024 07:32

Yayyyy! Maybe consider making him an indoor kitty? Where I live ( not UK) lots of cats stay indoors as they kill the native wildlife. I built a cat run at the side of my house with a cat flap so my boy can go out safely, maybe that could be an option for you?

PettyJelly · 13/11/2024 06:41

OldTinHat · 13/11/2024 06:15

Genuine question, do cat owners not put a tracker on their cat to see where it goes?

Yes, and it’s shit. The battery dies constantly.

OldTinHat · 13/11/2024 06:15

Genuine question, do cat owners not put a tracker on their cat to see where it goes?

FannyCradocksDoughnut · 13/11/2024 05:35

Congratulations I'm so happy for you xxx