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New nursery, unexpectedly high fees and an unreasonable manager

235 replies

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 22:58

I moved my DC to a new nursery after management changed at the previous one and I felt DC wasn’t being adequately challenged. I chose the new nursery because the owner’s child was friends with mine, and I wanted to try their new Montessori program as I’d heard good things about it. DC began in September, and after settling in days and a discussion about fees and policies, I paid a deposit to secure the spot.

Although I’d previously informed the manager DC was eligible for 15 funded hours she only explained that due to the Montessori curriculum they require kids attend a minimum of 20 hours. I was happy to do this as I’d always wanted DC to do more than 15 but the old nursery didn’t allow this for term time only students. We agreed that DC would attend 4 half days a week 8am - 1pm. The manager recommend the morning slot citing a more structured curriculum in the morning and I accepted what I thought was her professional opinion.

After the third settling-in day, the manager informed me I’d be receiving an invoice. Later that day I received an invoice for September fees, due that same day. Surprised, as I hadn’t expected a payment so soon, I planned to clarify this with her the following week. When she later confirmed it was correct, I explained I wasn’t prepared for this payment. She accepted a partial payment, with the balance paid the following week.

Shortly after, my schedule changed, so I asked if DC could switch from the 8am - 1pm slot to the 1 pm - 6 pm slot. The manager told me they only offered 8 am - 1 pm or 8 am - 6 pm slots, which was confusing since I recalled her mentioning both. Still, I agreed to three full days instead of 4 half days to keep my course schedule since my sister agreed to assist with payment and I’d get reimbursement from UC.

One week later, and one week to the due date I received an invoice for three full days, with payment due by Oct 1. Unable to pay in full right away, I made a partial payment and arranged a meeting at the Job Centre for assistance. By Oct 1, the manager emailed me at 4 am about the balance. I explained that I was actively working on it, yet she continued to pressure me for payment, even calling during nursery hours without updating me on DC’s well-being.

After my meeting at the Job Centre she coincidentally called me I explained I’d just left but was busy and would need to get back in contact with her. She ignored what I said and proceeded to threaten to suspend my child although she’d received partial payment for the month and is in receipt of 15 funded hours from the government. Due to this call I performed terribly in my telephone interview.

When I finally arranged the grant, I needed the nursery manager’s signature. She asked unnecessary questions, took a copy of my form without consent, and kept demanding confirmation of payment, despite clear evidence it would go directly to her account. I expressed my dissatisfaction but had to rush back to the Job Centre to ensure the payment would be processed that day to avoid losing DC’s space.

Afterward, I requested a meeting to provide feedback. The manager was defensive, reluctantly admitted to miscommunications but wouldn’t offer any flexibility for future payments, despite the unexpected costs I’d incurred. Additionally, she hadn’t given me a copy of the contract initially, which stated both session options, including 1 pm - 6 pm was on offer. The payment due date was also buried in a long paragraph, which I missed. Please note she didn’t state the afternoon slot was unavailable because the nursery was full either she just changed the policy without communicating it to parents.

Following this experience, I left a review detailing my concerns. Since then, the manager has been passive-aggressive toward both me and my sister, who occasionally picks up DC. My child has also complained about the manager’s child pushing and hitting them, which concerns me as I worry the child isn’t disciplined due to the staff’s connection to the manager.

OP posts:
ThatRareUmberJoker · 13/11/2024 09:45

weareallcats · 12/11/2024 23:42

Phonics isn’t for nursery. My dc went to Montessori and thrived, but didn’t start phonics till reception. Read up about the system in Finland where learning is play based till age 7, with better outcomes.

Happier children as well. That's why I decided not to push my son too much. They try to enforce homework on children from the age of 5 it's ridiculous no wonder kids are unhappy and lose interest in education.

Kool4katz · 13/11/2024 09:41

FanofLeaves · 13/11/2024 09:29

Sorry, what exactly is your need for pulling me up on this? Other than to make a nasty assumption about me?

Edited

You were the nasty one trying to shame the OP for not knowing that the fees for the new nursery were expected in advance despite acknowledging that the nursery she’d used previously didn’t require payment in advance.

But as usual, Mumsnet moderators delete posts as a knee jerk reaction and don’t bother reading threads properly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gowlett · 13/11/2024 09:38

You can’t afford this place.
Somewhere else would be less stressful, I think.

Scentedjasmin · 13/11/2024 09:36

"Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?"

They don't teach these with good reason at pre-school! learning through play and social skills are far more important. In fact Montessori education is far more play centered and unstructured than state provision. At preschool they learn to start to write their own names, they might do counting and alphabet songs and they do pencil control through art. Trying to push kids ahead and get them to skip this stage really doesn't offer any benefits.

Kool4katz · 13/11/2024 09:36

The only thing the OP has done wrong according to many posters is the heinous crime of being too poor to pay bills before they’re due. 🙄
**
“…focus on your child and in living within your means.”

A particularly nasty comment and clearly from someone who has never struggled financially. 😡

YeahWellWhyNot · 13/11/2024 09:33

I read that as you'd signed up your child and then not paid. More than once. YABU

fruitbrewhaha · 13/11/2024 09:33

Three full days will cost more than 5 half days.

Why didn’t you work out the fees before you agreed. That is the only problem I can see here.

I can appreciate why the nursery couldn’t supply afternoon only. Places get taken. They haven’t got space for afternoon only at the moment.

It sounds like you’ve expected to be able to pick and choose and swap around the days or sessions, you want be able to do this when ever you fancy or need. They have limited places and staffing rota’s to consider.

They will invoice in advance and you need to pay on time.

You are being unreasonable.

pumpkinpillow · 13/11/2024 09:32

encourage educational play

All play is educational.

FanofLeaves · 13/11/2024 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sorry, what exactly is your need for pulling me up on this? Other than to make a nasty assumption about me?

NewFriendlyLadybird · 13/11/2024 09:29

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

Of course it is. That’s for school: nurseries teach pre-reading and writing skills.

And a Montessori nursery is child-led by philosophy so you won’t get that there anyway.

Paganpentacle · 13/11/2024 09:27

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:27

Child is 3 going on 4 and they’re not even teaching phonics and writing skills. No feedback on daily activities to promote development and nothing in the plan to prepare them for school. I don’t think that’s too unreasonable to ask, do you?

Thats kind of your job as a parent....

Mrssmith3 · 13/11/2024 09:24

I think you should have found out more information before signing up. I wouldn’t worry a nursery isn’t challenging my child enough. It’s learning through play. School is for teaching and there is plenty of it for years. It sounds like you have got yourself into a hard place. Personally I’d just find a preschool that offers the sessions you need and is cheaper. A lot do music and movement forest school etc. It sounds awkward where your child is now. Do you really want to send them there? Plus can you afford it?

Sweepsthepillowclean · 13/11/2024 09:23

You gave burnt all your bridges here OP. You won’t last until Christmas. Writing a bad review for a nursery your child still goes to was incredibly arrogant… and stupid.

Trobealone · 13/11/2024 09:22

@Singlemommy2024

I can only think it would it should have been outlined in your terms and conditions when you signed up? Did you sign anything?

About 10 years ago phonics was introduced to 3/4 year olds in a fun/exciting way.

Then there seems to be this weird ethos in many nurseries that phonics is baaaaad.
Yet when they get to reception, they get a phonics test straight away - and the phonics teaching is fast and furious.

Some nurseries do teach phonics, and I’d choose a nursery that does teach phonics.

OrwellianTimes · 13/11/2024 09:21

Singlemommy2024 · 12/11/2024 23:41

This is the first nursery that requires payment in advance in my experience.

I hold my hands up for overlooking this in the contract but stand by it could have been made clearer, especially since we had a verbal discussion about the fees and it was never mentioned payment would be required right away.

All the nurseries my kids went to were fees in full up front. Very standard practice.

Alcardo · 13/11/2024 09:20

@AngelinaFibres why's it fucking matter, gets so boring people mithering on about Americanisms. You know what she means so get over it.

OP. yabu for saying your kid wasn't being challenged. They were at nursery learning to be around non-related adults and navigating social skills with other kids, that's plenty of challenge. If you mean you wanted them to be at more of an advantage starting school, say that.

Kool4katz · 13/11/2024 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Saharafordessert · 13/11/2024 09:16

I think the best thing you can do is pay up and find a different setting. You’ve clearly burnt all your bridges here and I can’t say I blame the staff for being passive aggressive especially after you left a bad review (which to give you some credit, takes balls!)
Maybe as previous posters have suggested, look for a pre school setting when you might get what you are looking for for your DC.

twomanyfrogsinabox · 13/11/2024 09:15

You got the hours you wanted, then wanted to change them to hours that weren't available and then accepted different hours that you don't like and can't afford. You are not paying on time and want them to accept partial payments until you can sort things out. In the meantime you are posting bad reviews. Not sure I would want your custom.

Sawlt · 13/11/2024 09:14

Nursery has to pay salaries and bills. Of course they want the money.

Weirdly, you are super demanding want superior service but don’t want to understand fees, nor pay them.

Take down your review, focus on your child and in living within your means.

Have you thought ahead about how your behavior will impact your child if you need a reference, or report for next school? Don’t poop where you or your child eats.

AccountantMum · 13/11/2024 09:09

Places in a good nursery can be hard to get - with long waiting lists including waiting lists for moving sessions, or at least that was my experience when I had children in nursery.
They are also expensive and would expect to be paid in advance - im surprised your child started without paying any deposit or fees in advance.

I think you have been lucky to be able to get a short notice place and be able to move the sessions around at short notice but if the fees are not affordable and have suprised you, then you should look for something that works and it’s almost certain the nursery staff think your a nightmare and don’t like you at this point but shouldn’t affect how they treat your child.

Even if you leave now you are likely to have to pay the notice period which is probably next month.

m00rfarm · 13/11/2024 09:05

When you get your car serviced, unless you pay, you don't get to take it home. So I am guessing that you don't understand that the nursery does not want to keep your child until you feel inclined to pay? When you get your hair done, you don't leave until you pay (the same day). So your analogies are really irrelevant.

Ellie1015 · 13/11/2024 09:05

Of course taking good care of the child is no 1 priority. But price and availability/flexibility to change times should also be considered before moving child. Even if they did offer afternoon session no guarantee there would be space, you should have checked before changing work hours.

And if 4 mornings ie 20 hours was expesnive I would not be switching to 3 days (30 hours).

The nursery will need paid to continue. I dont think it is unreasonable of them to consider suspension.

midlifeattheoasis · 13/11/2024 08:58

TheHoneyMonster82 · 12/11/2024 23:09

As soon as I read that your child ‘wasn’t being challenged enough’ in nursery I knew you were being unreasonable. . .

This

JustinThyme · 13/11/2024 08:58

If your child is still welcome at the nursery by January, I will be very surprised.

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