To wonder if it’s really true that you should avoid discussing money with anyone other than those directly involved with your finances?

Depends on context.

Eg Discussing your and your partners joint finances with your friends/siblings etc isn't really considered the right thing to do ( I would be really annoyed at this)

But it's ok to discuss with an advisor at the bank if a loan or better saving deal is needed .

Also being vocal about finances if you are wealthier or complaining about living costs if you are wealthier than the person listening is particularly distasteful.

It's ok to discuss general finance not personal. Ideas on how to budget and make the most of it. Or discuss ideas for investments and so on.

People with money don't want people talking about money.

Because then one day the general population might realise how royally fucked over they are by those hoarding all the wealth.

Talking about money (especially salaries) needs to be normalised for us to progress as a society and sort out the shit heap our country is turning into

That should have been the first comment as it nails it!

Nope, it's up there with religion and politics. People get really chippy about money.

IMO the more transparency around salaries the better, especially people you work with so that your employer has less chance to screw any of you over without you realising. The salary threads on here always end up with people on high salaries being accused of lying and people on low salaries not having realised how much they’re being underpaid. Information is a key part of price discovery including in labour markets and you don’t want to be the one receiving the asymmetric information.

You don’t need to discuss what you spend it on though, unless something like as PP said a friend looking to get similar eg extension and wanting a benchmark.

That's a weird thing to say?

My wide friendship group all talk about money. We all know roughly what each other earns. It helps all sorts of things - expectations for trips, meals out, events for example.

Money should not be a taboo subject as far as i'm concerned,

Perhaps if more people talked about money with friends & colleagues, the gap between male and female earnings would be even more obvious and talked about - which may lead to more action?

I work in Financial Management and the majority of people in speak to have got themselves into the position as they thought they couldn’t speak to anyone about their finances.

we need to change the narrative of talking about money to be a taboo subject. Maybe start with the simple things like sharing when you have found good savings accounts or budgeting apps. Then you open the door to more complex things.

people need to be able to ask for help before their finances are crippling them.

I never discuss money with anyone. There is absolutely no need.

If this happens to you the problem is the people you hang around with, not discussing money per se.

See I think this is problematic.

I was brought up to think like this and it’s quite disempowering. It creates the idea that money is taboo and makes it hard to make financial decisions in a clear headed way. It is a particular problem for women as it creates the idea that money and financial planning is a bit dirty and thus something to leave to men.

Financial literacy is really important and that means being able to talk about money sometimes.

Boasting about money is definitely tacky. Telling people what your bonus was or how much your loft extension cost is naff, boring and unnecessary (unless someone has specifically asked).

But making money taboo makes it much harder to manage.

In certain situations it's okay, of course. I think the world is a better place when we share more re salaries etc - however you need to be careful how you handle it.

People often get envious or jealous, and then start criticising spending in their heads, and friendships can be lost over trivial things. I'll discuss the cost of items with people who earn similarly to me, for example, if they ask, but my sister who's on NMW wouldn't shut up about it if she knew a new coat cost £800 - even if she asked about it! In that situation I find it best to downplay a bit.

Do they answer the questions that were asked of them?

Because you certainly haven't.

I don’t think it’s vulgar at all.

But I do think it’s risky. Too many different opinions, too much chance of someone getting or feeling judged, embarrassed, hard done by etc.

You will find it is those who are more fortunate who are uncomfortable about discussing finances. Consider that.

I could consider this a 100 times and no
It's no one else's business

I don’t discuss my finances with anyone, it’s nobody’s business what I have

It's whatever you're comfortable with. I don't discuss my finances with anybody.

In the right context, you should absolutely discuss money. Doing the same job as your colleague, you should be able to talk about salaries and if it is different, your employer should be able to justify the difference without using a protected characteristic.

My friend saying that anyone with a degree isn’t on a good wage when my part time salary is about £10k higher than hers and DH’s salary is more than double (we both have degrees and she doesn’t), no that should be avoided.

I think when sharing finances it should come with the question of what purpose does that serve? It provides transparency for something someone is buying or what they are paid or how they can be growing their money, yes. If it just serves to give information that can be used negatively, then no.

It rarely helps.

It depends what you mean by discussing money. If you're simply saying to a friendly colleague that you can't wait for pay day, then that's pretty normal. Ditto if you're asking your boss for a pay rise. However, I certainly wouldn't discuss the intimate details of my finances with anyone other than my partner (and maybe parents/close relatives depending on your relationship with them). Unless other people are able to offer you solid advice or even help you out, then why would you lay yourself so bare in front of them. It's a bit like discussing your sex life with strangers! It is also rather distasteful to discuss money with others, as they may be struggling more than you or feel embarrassed.

I’m a public sector worker so people know what I’m paid. At work, I’m in the highest-paid group. I’ve found that people think they’ve a right to hold opinions on how I spend my money and also that some people think I should subsidise them.

Ime, many of the boomer generation think it is vulgar. I only learned this because my MIL was super weird every time money came up (my own mother is very open about money). Personally I think the faux Pas of discussing money is a control tactic used by those taking advantage of others or with something to hide. A boss once asked me not to discuss my salary with colleagues again. It is illegal to ask this. The reason she said this is because I had been discussing my pay with a colleague who was being underpaid massively compared to me. The other colleague eas being taken advantage of, and doing a lot of unpaid overtime. This is exactly why we should discuss money, so people aren't exploited, and so very wealthy people are held to account. You will find it is those who are more fortunate who are uncomfortable about discussing finances. Consider that.

People with an ounce of class dont talk money with others.

I don't, even with close family. It can get really awkward and I have the kind of job where people don't know if I make a load of money or next to nothing. I'm looking to move house in a bit and am nervous of telling my family about properties because they will know which price bracket I'm looking at.

Nope
Absolutely no one else's business

People then feel that if you have more than them that somehow you should pay or they feel entitled or conversely that they can criticise you

What's vulgar about it?