To wonder if it’s really true that you should avoid discussing money with anyone other than those directly involved with your finances?

Yes definitely. ‘Never discuss money’ is the same vibes as ‘I’m good with money so I would never use a credit card’

I’m moving jobs and a colleague at my current job asked me this morning “whether money was a factor”. She said she’s been thinking about a similar move for a while but would need to think about whether the pay increase would be worth longer hours. She was clearly trying to be tactful and leaving it open for me to give a vague “yes it’s more money”, but instead I told her what I make now and what the new role is for. I think especially as women in a traditionally male industry that can still be a bit “boys club”, we benefit each other if we’re open about salary. I would never directly ask or expect it from anyone, but when friends have discussed salaries with me it’s helped me to make informed decisions and put me in a stronger position to negotiate.

I think people need to read the Op

Op specified friends and family not that money shouldn't be discussed with financial institutions or services

Haha

There is an unspoken hierarchy amongst the wives based on the bank, so a Nomura wife has less social capital than a BlackRock wife. The ranking is based on salary and performance remuneration; as you get wealth if you are in an equal relationship, you will discuss money frequently. Investment convos are constant. Deff raising my kids differently. No shame in money.

I'm happy to discuss mine with anybody if they have so little else of interest they wanted to hear about. Bog standard house with mortgage you'd not be surprised at at my age. Salary entirely conversant with my job and sector so no surprises there. No inheritance, no secret lottery win. The level of savings you'd expect given all the above and my lifestyle. Nothing to hide, nothing to see.

Most wealthy people discuss finance with their wider circle and friends. Investment tips, cost of things, etc. I think it is a very working-class attitude to money; like my family, we never spoke about it, so weird in hindsight.

I have no issues discussing my finances should anyone wish to ask me, but I don't go around offering up the information unsolicited. Only my DH knows my salary, but I would happily tell someone if asked. My DH is public sector so his salary details are freely available if anyone knows his band and industry.

I think the nation is woefully financially uneducated, and more transparency and demysitification surrounding money talk would be a good thing imo.

What's the purpose of talking about it? If you have more, it makes people feel sad and inadequate. If you have less, it makes people feel embarrassed.

The only time it might be appropriate is if you need advice, e.g. if I change job, what am I likely to earn, if I buy this house, what kind of mortgage will I pay, and that can mostly be found on the internet.

I won't even casually mention a small inexpensive purchase anymore. A colleague quit because he spoke to our boss about their plans for the weekend, she'd bought a bottle of nail varnish and he quit because he thought it was inappropriate that somebody in the workplace could afford nail polish and rub it in his face.

Hmm depends. We are quite open as a couple about how much we earn and our expenditure etc. But this is partly influenced by the fact that we both do jobs that aren't generally very common/well-known/understand to people we don't work with, and we've noticed that people seem to assume we earn a lot more/have a lot more money than we actually do. I don't like people to have that idea and I think it results in expectations of us that we wouldn't be able to meet etc so that's partly why we are so open about it. Also I have a fairly wealthy parent and ive noticed there are assumptions from people that we receive financial support from them too, which we absolutely don't, so we feel it's important to try and clear up misconceptions like that where they arise.

If it was the opposite way round and we were wealthy and people didn't realise, honestly no I think we would be a lot less willing to divulge information.

Nice one 🤣

I definitely still hate it, I just died a bit inside reading your reply 🤣

Me neither lol I earn 15/16k a year

Well I definitely do not fall into the category of having lots of money 🤣

See it really doesn't bother me. Maybe it's the people who have lots of money that are more secretive about it. A few weeks ago I was in the pub with a friend of mine . We were both discussing our money ( including figures) and savings accounts investments etc

In my husbands culture absolutely yes, and I cringe every single time

I really enjoy finance in terms of tips to save money / make it go further / become mortgage free etc. I love moneysavingexpert! I'd happily talk about that kind of thing in general terms with anyone.

I wouldn't talk about my own personal finance unless it was pertinent to the conversation (eg once with a group of married couples I know well we all discussed the different ways we approached joint finances when we married).

I did tell my Mum when we paid off the mortgage!

That's a very British thing though. In many parts of the world money is spoken about quite openly

I'm actually quite comfortable , down to hard work and being careful with money in my younger days. But to everyone else I work with or interact with socially I'm just about keeping my head above water . They think I have no savings or a decent pension because I've seen the resentment and anger dished out to those they perceive as being " Privileged ".

Never discuss money or religion has always been good advice.

I have found open (ish) conversation about pensions, mortgages and savings strategies enormously empowering.

Its made me realise how clueless i was when younger. Mum wouldn't talk about money so i knew nothing. I've made mistakes and not optimised things as i could have. I'm teaching my dds things like pay into a pension early, look at interest rates, buy property if you can (don't rent forever like i have). Things i could have done but was too scared.

I wouldn't, based on experience.

There are complexities to peoples individual finances.

It rarely ends well.

*kids' friends' parents

I second this. There's a reason they're considered taboo topics.

The whole money secrecy does seem to mainly be a white british thing, it also contributes to people, usually women being underpaid.