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Original poster

Discovered payment to Only fans on husband's credit card

117 replies

Arabellia · 12/11/2024 11:58

I was going through the App on my partner's phone for the credit card we took out a couple of years ago to pay for some large items and I discovered a payment to Onlyfans.com*D GBR for £4.74 then a foreign exchange conversion charge then the "OF" logo and a payment for £18.88.

There's nothing else suspicious on there and it was back in June. WTAF! He's been paying to watch some young woman hasn't he?

He was very cagey when I asked to see the credit card statements to see how much interest we had paid and changed the pin on his phone.

Aibu to ask him to leave over this? I'm so upset, I hate these sleazy sites and the opportunity they offer to weak, pathetic men (obviously men like my husband now).

OP posts:
Wellingtonspie · 15/11/2024 20:20

Think I’d have to divorce him for being so thick as to pay for porn when you can get it for free on loads of sites frankly. Couldn’t be married to an idiot.

Tina159 · 15/11/2024 20:17

OldScribbler · 15/11/2024 19:09

Context is everything. Do you have a happy sex life? Many couples don't for a simple reason: women start to lose interest in sex as 40 nears. Please don't scold me for saying so, because it is true. I will not comment on men's lack of imagination here.

Oh do be quiet, lots of women enjoy sex long after 40 - and long after their men start struggling to get it up.

Faultymain5 · 15/11/2024 20:15

OldScribbler · 15/11/2024 19:09

Context is everything. Do you have a happy sex life? Many couples don't for a simple reason: women start to lose interest in sex as 40 nears. Please don't scold me for saying so, because it is true. I will not comment on men's lack of imagination here.

😂

thepinkcow · 15/11/2024 20:09

This would depend for me on what exactly it was he paid for. I don't know how OF works, was it a one off payment to view someone's profile or was it a one off payment for someone to do something he has specifically requested?
Men watch porn and tbh that doesn't really bother me but the more personal aspect of it would be more of an issue for me than just paying for a nosey on someone's profile. You definitely need to ask him.

candyflossbabe · 15/11/2024 20:07

Is it the paying or the actual content you object to?

Cos tbh, if you think he’s never watched prn on places like prnhub etc for free, then imma need to hold your hand while I tell you something 😬

Have you ever explicitly told him that you would have a problem with those kind of sites, the marriage ending kind of consequences because that is a big grey area for a lot of people and a lot to end a marriage over if he was unaware.

Now i’m not saying you’re wrong for your feelings or wanting to blow your lid but a one off OF nose, seems like maybe something you should sit down and discuss.

Lots of OF have subscriptions so if he hasn’t signed up for one, it does appear to be an isolated incident, heck, morbid curiosity has meant there would be a smirk from me if you ever combed my bank statements 🤣🤣🤣

We also don’t know the additional ins and outs of your relationship and if he’s an alright decent bloke and this is the first “sordid” thing in 20 years of marriage or if it’s the latest in a long line of things of a 2 year marriage, which will have a massive bearing.

If it makes your skin crawl and you want to tear him a new one then so be it and have him sleeping on the sofa grovelling for a month but I doubt anyone would think you’re a doormat if you worked through it!

sunsmiles · 15/11/2024 20:02

I don't know how OF works - is it a payment to follow someone (equivalent of having a favourite 'model') or requesting they do or say something specifically for you?

Either way I wouldn't be impressed, and far less if it was a personalised 'service'.

LilyAllensChin · 15/11/2024 19:55

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WendyA22 · 15/11/2024 19:52

If it's any consolation, I was looking at some site where a woman was doing up her campervan. It led me to OF and they definitely weren't photos of her campervan (unless that a new term for it!)

Swizol · 15/11/2024 19:44

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Genni01 · 15/11/2024 19:37

Would you end the relationship if it was back in the page 3 days and he was buying the sun?
Plus it's not just adult xxx stuff on there in fact OFs are actively trying to get rid of adult providers

boriam · 15/11/2024 19:11

Yes, I'd be put out and upset but definitely not worth ending a relationship over.

OldScribbler · 15/11/2024 19:09

Context is everything. Do you have a happy sex life? Many couples don't for a simple reason: women start to lose interest in sex as 40 nears. Please don't scold me for saying so, because it is true. I will not comment on men's lack of imagination here.

Marty44 · 15/11/2024 19:02

You write so much...if not good get rid...too much drama))

DragonGypsyDoris · 12/11/2024 12:32

If something like this could trigger you ending the relationship, I have to ask whether it's already rocky? Because it's the modern equivalent of ogling Sam Fox in the 1970s.

ObieJoyful · 12/11/2024 12:08

Bored, curious, heard folk make thousands and wanted to see what the big deal was?

Sounds like it was once. No need for hysterics- just ask him!

Sadcafe · 12/11/2024 12:04

I truly don’t understand why people pay to look at these sites, pretty sure you can see exactly the same and more for free, as to whether you should ask him to leave , it depends on what else has happened to make you feel the way you do about him doing this, if anything

forgotmypassagain · 12/11/2024 12:00

does OF have site content that’s not half naked/naked women? I’d just ask him outright and calmly what he’s been watching on OF.

i don’t think it needs to be a big row. Just ask

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