Has this friendship run its course?

They were doing you a favour with the dog, you sound a tad ungrateful. However I'd never dream of leaving my dog with someone just checking in!

Ok so there's a cultural difference too which might explain some of the different approaches.

Look. If you think she and her husband are basically decent folk, not perfect but good hearted, but on a slightly different wavelength then don't ditch them if you're worried about not having many friends locally.

Just as I say, scale the friendship back to neutral territory, get to know them better. Stop doing and receiving favours (maybe in an emergency), so it is a friendship based solely on company. Not a tally of who's done what for whom, even if started with the best of intentions. No shared bills. If you go out to eat, look for places where you order and pay at the bar, separately. Maybe a few simple activities together, cinema or park run with the dogs or something so you build that common ground?

I do think the dog is on you really. If they fed, watered and walked it as they said they would then they did what they offered. If doggo was crying then leaving it with that level of supervision wasn't adequate and that isn't their fault. You know for next time.

The bill sounds like a misunderstanding rather than trying to pay a quarter.

Look, try and be clearer about what you mean. Meet on neutral territory. Be assertive if she's overpowering again.

Why should they split the tabs evenly ? Sounds like they are watching their finances carefully. Maybe why she wanted to cook your birthday meal rather than go out.

The dog thing.... you surely know your dog. Getting someone to pop in is unacceptable. They need a proper dog sitter.

Gave similar advice upthread but it seems Op and dh can't or won't speak up thus rendering her Op almost pointless.

What culture is that 😄 never heard a whole culture be described like that before. OP I get it - mostly ADHD here with some autism - we don't want to lose the few friends we have BUT you do need to insert boundaries - 'no sorry I don't care for football' etc - doesn't have to be bold and brash but does need to be said. I'd probably continue with the friendship but only ever meeting in neutral places and no more favours- more of a lightweight friendship than full on.

But you and your DH have voices. Why don't you just say 'We paid £130 -- the rest is yours' or 'We didn't eat'? Or, to go back to your OP, 'I don't to watch football' or 'It doesn't suit me to have you come round now'?

It just sounds like lots of this is poor, or unclear communication.

They sound rubbish friends and you should just start limiting contact - if you want to stay in touch with them for some reason. If you want to end the friendship either just completely let it slide or confront them about their behaviours.

Does dh not have the ability to speak up and say, "Oh, I've just paid our half, Dave"? Did he just meekly pay half of the friends bill without explaining?

Did looking in on the dog involve walking it and spending some time with it?

Say the bill was £100 plus a tip, let's say £110. What did your DH pay from that?

Again, though you seem to keep changing your mind about which one of them did the thing that is annoying you -- you say it was your friend's DH who asked to split the bill, and you say 'they' were looking in on your dog, and the neighbour spoke to 'them'' about your dog being distressed. Are you saying they both did every welfare check? That the neighbour spoke to both of them?

I think the friendship has absolutely run its course. I understand what you mean about having phases of disliking people etc (could be overwhelm) I get that too. But it sounds more than that to me. Keeping her as a friend, just to "have friends" wouldn't be right. It's ok to only have one or two friends. If you're also ND (you don't say which type but if autism then it's not surprising) and have attachment issues, it's another layer of complication, but don't let that make you feel you're somehow in the wrong.

As someone else said, if you're not excited at the prospect of seeing her, something is wrong. If you really don't want to let go yet, scale back on seeing her drastically and then reassess.

I think the bar tab was a miss understanding

telling you off is hard to judge without context and details

dog thing seems like miss communication

I would not make hasty decision and be clear with your communication

That sounds like a simple misunderstanding, and certainly not a reason to end a friendship. Plus this was your friend's DH, not your friend. It sounds as if you're looking for reasons to end the friendship.

So it was actually your DH who caused the bill splitting issue? Paying for elements before he knew what the bill was?

Did he know your dh had already paid half the bill? Unless your dh said he was going up specifically to pay how would this other bloke know?
As for the dog thing, it's easy to see how your friend didn't know your dog was distressed when no-one was around because your dog would have been fine when she was there

Well, if she messages you and says 'Are you free for a coffee/drink at the weekend?', does your heart sink or are you pleased at the idea? Do you enjoy her company? If you imagine never hearing from her again, does your heart sink, or do you feel relieved and lightened?

Honestly, you are the only one who can say if there are any benefits to you in continuing the friendship?