To not mention I have 50/50 custody on my dating profile

I met my fiancé on OLD. He was clear he had three children and lived with one on his initial profile, although I didn't know which one. On discussion the child he lived with was his older son in his twenties. I thought it was very lovely that his older child chose to live with him. I wouldn't be put off with 50/50 although i dont think you need to put it on your profile. That should come out in early discussions. If you are dating anyone with a child you know that they need to spend time with them and if you don't want that, you don't date them. Whether its 20% (which would put me off FYI) or 100%. You will have a narrower pool as you have children, but that's just the way it is. I love my Fiancé's children (25, 24, 10) but I was always open to a man with children.

This is harsh.

OP - I think you should keep it.

If it puts people off then that's a good thing. If you're looking for a long term relationship then you will only get the people who are comfortable with this.

I don’t mention I have kids on my dating profile. Once conversation is initiated I will put it out there.

It doesn’t bother me if a man has kids, if anything it usually means they already understand coparenting and how valuable child free time can be when your overwhelmed therefore not likely to waste it!

I've starting seeing someone and honestly the fact he has his kids 50/50 is something I found attractive about him. Anyone who is swiping left based on that information isn't compatible with you, so what's the point in rewording it for them to give you a chance, for it enivitably to end up going the same way, except both of you have now wasted time on each other and possibly created tension re timetabling dates etc

Agree with this. I do think most women in your age range will be past school age kids and be enjoying not having to revolve their life around childcare.

Ill be honest my DS is 20 and I’ve loved the last few years where I don’t have to go on holiday in August and plan nights out around him being with his dad.

Hes still with me part time but I don’t have to worry about him when I’m out - he’s perfectly happy with a Deliveroo or using the air fryer 🤣

@WillVioletsDad women have learned the hard way not to really mention much about our dc in dating profiles because of the large amount of pedophiles who will specifically target women with children to get access to their children and their children's friends.
Women are generally not a risk to children in the way men are, and because of this, it's an unfortunate fact that women have to deal with, but on average, men don't.
So it's safe for a man to say he has 50/50 care of his dc and allows both parties to see from the start if they are compatible, rather than waste time with someone who is looking for something different

Just seen your update, maybe put your age preference a bit lower, like 45. You may match with a woman who is younger who would be happier to be with someone raising a child.

Women don't need to write on their profiles that they have 50/50 custody or even custody as it is just assumed that they will already have custody.

If you have a women over the age of 40 is on a dating site, you can generally expect her to have children. You can also generally expect her to have more than 50/50 custody of those children.

A man with dc wouldn't be my preference, but I'd think more of you for doing 50:50 than EOW so you'd go up in my estimation. How old is your dc?

I notice that you're 55. If I was similar age, then your age with a young child/ primary age child would put me off more than actually having a dc, as I'd be thinking of slowing down and wouldn't want to be with someone who was still raising a young child.

If I was single I wouldn't consider someone with children as I am childfree by choice and it just wouldn't work for me. Others may consider it but have a flat no to someone with 50/50 as it would cut down on time you could spend together since they shouldn't meet them too soon. So I think you should be upfront to prevent wasting either of your time.

I'm in a relationship with someone who has his kids 50/ 50. It does make things go a lot more difficult than if he has them every other weekend. He is the default parent so sometimes the mum doesn't turn up which really upsets the kids and then we have to cancel plans if we had made plans. So a lot of people wouldn't want that (just as I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't want to date me as a single parent of a 15 year old who is with me nearly all of the time.) so you may as well be honest from day 1 then if they don't want that they don't need to message you.
I was prepared for the 50/50 but not how disinterested the mum is as it's actually more like 65/35. That would be fine but it's last minute changes so it makes it difficult to plan things and it upsets the kids when their mum doesn't turn up so that's sad to see.

For me it's your age with school age children that's off putting. I would want/expect an older mans children to no longer be dependent on him.

You're nearly old enough to be my dad! but I'd appreciate the upfront honesty personally

Always be honest. Any woman put off by it isn’t right for you anyway.

Really savage. If a woman asked you’d be fine with it.

I think being upfront is the way to go. I suspect the issue is the age of your daughter - most people at your age are either past the young kids stage and don't want to start again, or never wanted kids in the first place. But that is just all the more reason to be up front - for the right person it will be a big tick.

I think you sound lovely, kind and honest. A devoted dad and clearly if your ex helped read over your profile you were not a terrible husband! I personally would appreciate honesty it’s the most important thing for me. I also believe that at your age it’s very difficult to fond someone who doesn’t have children/an ex wife etc because that’s life! Personally I would take out the 50/50 but state you have a daughter you adore. Then on first date I’m sure they will ask how often do you see your dd?
Good luck with it, my best friend and cousin both met their husbands through online dating so once you weed through it is worth it!

Think you're in the minority in thinking we don't live in a sexist world. Burying your head in the sand doesn't change that.

Just BE YOU! You’ve got children

you can’t win on here, you have your child eow you are a deadbeat that barely sees them, you have 50/50 you are just doing it for the maintenance and you are wrong for “taking” the child away from their mothers (seen both on here often) i don’t think you need to mention anything i have my kids full time but wouldn’t mention it on a dating profile.

Just be upfront you have children. You don’t have to discuss the minutiae of care until you’re conversing but I’d imagine most women would assume that if you put you have kids that you’d be doing some care. In my view, it might deter women who don’t have children because they may only be looking for people without kids but at least they know upfront. Honesty is a good quality-the worse thing you can do with OLD is to be evasive or fib about things which will easily be found out. I met my DH old , we knew we both had children from the get go although we didn’t live together until the kids were young adults.