I’ve reached total burnout from a project at work. It has made me physically unwell with stress and mentally I feel like an utter failure. It has built up gradually over the year, over which time I’ve been told on one hand by my employer that it’s entirely my own fault as my standards are too high, and on the other hand by our client that the standard of work is not good enough. I feel like I’ve been stuck in the middle trying to meet client expectations whilst feeling increasingly isolated and have resorted to working long and stressful hours to try to overcome feelings of self-doubt. We work remotely and I feel this is a huge part of the problem, no one can see who is struggling or who needs help and when. A lot of people are happy to clock in late, clocks off early and rarely work Fridays. No one really takes an interest in what is really going on with others.
I’ve tried to raise my worries earlier but am continuously met with the attitude of “it’ll be fine you’re overthinking it”, but this week have been pushed to the edge and have broken down from the worry of trying to complete the work. I don’t even know what I’m asking really, I feel so deeply ashamed that I’ve put so much into my work thinking it mattered and it turns out it means nothing to anyone. Please be kind, AIBU to leave?