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Original poster

He won't come round whiles my kids are home (in bed).

59 replies

Seasontobe · 11/11/2024 23:58

Been seeing eachother for a while. He has 2 older children and I have twins age 10. He has never met them because I don't know how long we will last as we have split up in the past but seem to get back together.

Anyway he has visited when the kids were younger. Kids were in bed sleeping. Now when I ask him to come over, he asks if the kids are here. I tell him yes but they are I bed. He then refuses to come???? However he will come when they are not here.
What is the problem if they are in bed sleeping?
They wouldn't even know.

OP posts:
OddityOddityOdd · 12/11/2024 00:26

I'd see that as a positive for everyone.

Hello113 · 12/11/2024 00:25

loropianalover · 12/11/2024 00:16

He’s right OP.

What 10 year old wants to wake up in the middle of the night hearing a strange man’s voice in their house?!

This.

Also, why isn't him not feeling comfortable with it a good enough reason for you?

Opentooffers · 12/11/2024 00:20

I chanced it a tad when my DS was young 4-5. But he was a great sleeper when little and it was only a couple of times.
By 10 yrs, tbh, no chance as the older he got the greater the possibility of waking up. Depends on length of relationship, long term stability and future plans. You don't sound stable, so he's probably right not to chance it tbf.

OriginalUsername2 · 12/11/2024 00:17

He’s got good standards.

loropianalover · 12/11/2024 00:16

He’s right OP.

What 10 year old wants to wake up in the middle of the night hearing a strange man’s voice in their house?!

Original poster
Seasontobe · 12/11/2024 00:14

It fizzled out due to his work and our other commitments but then got back together a few months later. I don't think it is because he doesn't want to see me, he definitely does. He only visited a couple of times when the kids have been home. I get the feeling he's not comfortable with it but they are my kids and I know their sleep routine.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 12/11/2024 00:13

Good man. Doesn’t want to surprise the children if they wake up in the night.

Snorlaxo · 12/11/2024 00:12

He doesn’t want a surprise meeting with your kids. While my kids usually slept through, I couldn’t 100% guarantee that they wouldn’t wake up.

If there’s a possibility that you might have sex when he came round then I can understand why he’s relax and enjoy it much more if the kids weren’t there. Maybe he has had the experience of being interrupted by his kids while shagging (not uncommon)

Noseybookworm · 12/11/2024 00:07

How long is a while? Why did you split up in the past? It sounds like he doesn't want to be there in case your children wake and come down and see him there, or do you think he's using this as an excuse not to see you? You need to ask him why he used to come round when they're in bed and now doesn't want to?!