Lost weight, now losing friends!

Well then, seems as if you have to cut your losses if you have had it being scrutinized and talked about. They are really rude because when a friend asks you to please change the subject you respect her wishes. No matter what it's about. They clearly lack manners and do not respect your boundaries. I would withdraw from them or you will find yourself constantly justifying your weight loss and it will eventually make you regret it. Keep the supportive friends who have proven themselves to be real friends.

Far-fetched

Really close friend of mine became a snarky bitch when I lost weight, little digs dressed up as “just worried about you”
In reality was worried about losing the fat mate she put social media pics up of with. Never regretted letting that one go.

Well done on doing something for yourself and your health, enjoy feeling better! X

This is very common unfortunately! I’ve recently lost just over three stone with another two to go. One of my friends is obese (medically speaking). No judgement there, I was too and probably still would be if it wasn’t for the gallbladder issues!

Anyway, she became a nightmare for buying me food when I didn’t want it. We’d take the children to softplay and I’d say I didn’t want to get lunch or cake. Then I’d go to the toilet and find she’d ordered me sausage, chips and beans or pieces of cake with ice cream. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and reasoned that it was just that she didn’t want to eat alone. The penny dropped over the stupidest, smallest of things. She yet again ordered me food when I didn’t want it and ordered me a can of full sugar coke. I have never drunk full sugar coke. Not a health reason thing, I just dislike it and it makes me more thirsty. She knew that. I realised then that she wanted to sabotage me and I’ve distanced myself since.

I saw a naturopath when I was in my 20's (a long time ago!). I wanted to lose a bit of weight.

She told me 'when you change, some won't like it. You're upsetting their status quo. They'll try to push you back into the box that makes them feel comfortable & safe, any way they can.'

I didn't experience it with the weight loss as it was only a few kg. But, I've seen & experienced it many times. Especially with jobs, finances etc.

I think it's the same with anything where you've been part of a group of people who've unfortunate for some reason, then when your circumstances change it's like you're leaving them behind. It's not the most attractive human trait but tbh I feel relieved when I see other people acting like that - I've had a couple of periods in my life where things weren't going well and I found it hard to be happy for my friends who were doing better. It was a relief when the roles were reversed to see that they were basically the same. Having said that I think it's one thing to be a bit jealous and avoid someone, it's quite another to be commenting the whole time (or buying bit bits of cake, as a PP mentioned!)

They are being shitty friends. I hope they get over themselves and this situation settles down.

One of my closest friends was pre diabetic and morbidly obese. She had bariatric surgery, and is now a size ten and looks amazing. None of our group have shamed or criticised her. We might be openly jealous from time to time, complimenting her, and berating ourselves for our lack of willpower. The rest of us are all 14/16 sized.

Sometimes, even if you aren’t preaching, a change like this holds up a mirror to friends and they can feel defensive. When I stopped drinking alcohol I got a similar response that felt almost like rejection.

Congratulations. You say they are generally good people so stick with it and hopefully they will adapt and shut up!

There was a thread on here not long ago about someone who was angry at their friend for using the injections. They were angry because they said they had to constantly watch what they ate and say no all the time to maintain a healthy weight and then their friend had basically ate what they wanted for years, took the injections and lost it all. They implied they didn’t deserve the new figure because they hadn’t worked to achieve it.

There were a lot of people agreeing. I’ll see if I can find it.

But they look at you differently now.
Maybe they’re embarrassed that you’ve improved yourself and left them behind — maybe that’s how they see it.
People have all sorts of insecurities that we know nothing about. And if we did know we’d think they were silly - but they’re real enough to them.
Just like we have insecurities.
It’s sad all the way around and I’m very sorry.
Your friends should be friends no matter what and it hurts your heart when you find out they aren’t.
This complete stranger is really proud of you. You’re healthy and you’re gonna live longer and that’s a very good thing.

Sadly op this is a story as 0ld as time. There has always been some women envious of other women, it’s based in insecurity.

For your friends, their envy and discomfort at their own size, overwhelmed their feelings of friendship to you. And a pack mentality set in.

there will be women reading this now. Who will be envious of you. Who will justify it to themselves in many scornful or faux concern ways, did it the easy way, not feminist, jabs not safe, whatever, rather than admit the pure envy. There are women obsessively haunting the weight loss injection forums, repeatedly posting about their “concerns” on the jabs . Many would love to see these jabs banned, so they don’t need to feel these emotions, see people getting slim. In the main they are like your friends, also over weight, but some slim ones, in there too.

your friends will adjust to your new size and the comments will stop , or they were never your friend. It’s a sad life lesson unfortunately in human behaviour.

She doesn' need to discuss the ethics of it, just ask them the reason they are being off.
At the moment she doesn't know why they are being off
added
No-one yet knows the long-term effects of it as yet
A nurse died from its side effects recently

Wow.
The jealousy is astonishing.
Well done for losing weight!
Find new, slim friends (I'm here).
Joking. Honestly, I would have thought ladies at around this age would know better.
45 and still naive, hey.
Your body, your achievement!
👍

It might be that they have struggled to lose weight naturally (which is difficult and takes effort) and are jealous of the jabs. They may also be concerned about you. I would speak to them - all the best

I have one friend who lost a lot of weight and just would not stop going on about it. It was brought up at every meal time, in every topic of conversation. Lots of before and after pics on social media, and weekly photos once she’s hit her goal of her in her underwear talking about how much weight she’d lost. I get it, she was proud and she did do an awesome job, but it became her whole personality and also she started coming across as quite judgemental, very much like I can do this so why can’t all of you.

Anyway OP, as long as you’ve haven’t been like that (and it doesn’t sound like you have!) then your friends just sound grumpy and jealous. Well done on your weight loss!

Why should she? If that's how they feel then they are idiots. So what if they are morally opposed to the OP taking some medication that benefits her health. Why would anyone dignify such a ridiculous position with a conversation?

Perhaps they don't agree with the way you are going about it.
Had you all tried dieting together previously? Maybe they think you are cheating. Maybe they don't agree with the injection morally
Why don't you ask them?

I was going to say this! I spent my 20s and 30s on diets and had a very overweight friend who did nothing about it. I'm now comfortable with my weight and she lost a lot (not even through diet and exercise, through surgery). She is now the weight loss Oracle, talking even about how fat others are. There's no zealot like a convert!

Totally bonkers that they would prefer you to have poor health so you can look a certain way... and they also accuse YOU of being unfeminist. The mind boggles.

They have no idea what feminism means, clearly

I too have lost weight and friends who were the same size as me constantly say negative things and ask 'are you happy that size?' Etc. I think it is jealousy...probably they didn't even realise they were jealous until you lost weight and they would like to.
I saw a TV doctor talking about the jabs on GMTV and he said he wished people viewed them as any other form of medication. If they help you become healthy then why demonise them.
I think it is because of the association with rich celebrities using them to ditch 5 lbs rather than people who use it to get healthier.
Congratulations on your weightloss.
Next time you are out with them, if they start talking about your weight again, just ask them to leave the subject as it is boring or ask them outright why they are so fascinated with it.
Last resort...find new friends.

OP you write so well about the many layers going on for you following your weight loss. Shocking and disappointing about your friends' reactions. How small minded and awkward. And huge congratulations to you for your incredible attitude and self-confidence. If you have DC I hope you have passed this down to them. My mother (miraculously) did not pass down body-image issues or disordered eating to me despite struggling with both herself. I am learning that I am in the minority. Anyway thank you for sharing.

Nothing like a bunch of women talking about their opinions on another woman's body and lifestyle choices to smash the Patriarchy eh!

I am on Ozempic, and I've heard it all from larger friends - ooh you'll get Ozempic face, Ozempic ass, Ozempic fingers... You mean thinner?

To be honest I've just cut people dead...I tell them I take Ozempic on prescription to control my blood sugar, and the hideous side effects it brings. The weigh loss is a side effect of that which will lower the risk overall. Then I change the subject.

I was prediabetic Type 2 which was inevitable after PCOS and gestational diabetes according to my doctor. I've tried other drugs and they don't work. He offered this as a choice, and it does. My blood sugar is the lowest it's been in 20 years. Doctor is very happy. As am I. End of.

Perhaps they loved you for who they thought you were , not actually as you were/ are.

Are you talking about weight loss all the time and critiquing your previous body and saying how much better it is now? Really think if you gave because some people do it without realising.
Because someone responding to that by saying you should be proud at any size isn't unreasonable. Hating ones body no matter the size is harmful.
When you say you feel judged what is actually being said?

I think it's about them, not you honestly OP. They're talking to the voices in their own heads and to everyone who has ever criticised their bodies, and you're getting the brunt of it. I'm sorry. I imagine they will regret it.