Lost weight, now losing friends!

I’m sorry you are experiencing this OP. A bit late now but I would advise just saying “it’s a mixture of exercise, diet and medication and I’m doing it for health reasons and on medical advice”. If they persist, I’d say “I don’t want to talk about private medical issues”. Or “let’s talk about something else. Our weight is the least interesting thing about us”. If they keep going, just get upset and say how upsetting and disappointing it is that they can’t respect your boundaries or be happy for you as your health had improved.
They will always be friends but maybe not such close friends. It’s perfectly possible to make great new friendships in middle age. And because you are feeling energised, happy and confident, you will!

That's your answer right there. They're conflicted and their own insecurities ("we're all overweight together etc") are overpowering any feelings of goodwill that they should be having to you.

They're not your friends, or at least they don't deserve to be.

For the avoidance of doubt - I am not saying anything negative about being overweight or anything like that, more just about your friends inability to have genuine happiness for your journey.

You just unleashed their insecurities and jealousy I'm afraid. It's why I prefer dogs.

How much weight have you lost? What size were you before?
Can’t they just be happy for you?!

I agree with you. It’s really fascinating. Men don’t seem to have similar dynamics.

Can you imagine men giving thought to this or treating friends differently for losing weight, group dynamics changing. I love being a woman but do hate some of these behaviours I see and hear about that I can't relate to at all, reminds me of the school playground days.

I think, genuinely, that when we lose weight we really do lose our place in our friendship groups. None of us like to think it but our place in our social circles is multi layered and appearance is part of that. Weight, like it or not, forms part of our appearance.

I have friendship groups where I have been the slimmest and groups where I have been the biggest. I am no longer the biggest in any of my friendship groups and some dynamics have changed.

I have never discussed my weight loss with any of my friends. Not once. I am absolutely incapable of discussing it as it is so private to me.

But still, they discuss it. I feel for you OP. it is hard.

Good god, she just said she didn't do any of that and is secretly thrilled, whats wrong with you!!

Ok fair enough, as said, I get you, I’m on the same drug, just I wondered as it was a sudden discussion on it if you’d done anything to make them react negatively, but it appears not. So it’s as per the rest of the thread. They are just envious and a gang mentality occurred.

Happened to me. We was the same size and I lost weight and she didn't. She didn't want to be friends anymore!

That’s reminded me, back in the early 80s (I was late teens) we all used to smoke. My bf at the time decided to stop. I remember feeling a bit annoyed. I snapped out of it quickly, realising I was being unreasonable but at least I was still a teen (and I haven’t smoked in a long time now). It’s maybe understandable for the friends to have a short lived negative feeling but not to carry it on further into the friendship.

I had to avoid doing the school run for a while because people were commenting on it so much. I made DH come with me as he said I was exaggerating but he saw for himself that there are some people absolutely obsessed with what someone else weighs.

What I find sad is it’s not a scarcity thing- there’s no rule that it a group of friends only X number can be a healthy weight. Appreciate it’s a complex thing for many though.

Yep might as well tell them you’re shooting up
heroin

Absolutely agree with PO who refuses to entertain any discussion about their weight.

Some people are surprised and want to reassure me that it's absolutely a compliment

I tell 'em there are only two reasons it could be, either a serious wasting disease or I had put on too much weight. In either case, it's just none of their business. Simples.

From personal experience,there is nothing like admitting that you are using weight loss injections to bring out the worst in some people!

Well done OP 👏
They're just jealous.

I lost 8 stone, also at menopausal age, and one of my friends (slimmer than me) tells me I'm vain if I ever mention clothes size. I've never liked the way I look, which she knows, and I'm definitely not vain. I think it's a way to try and put you back in your place. I've also had comments about the risk of becoming gaunt - well as I've reversed diabetes and am now running half marathons I think I'll take the risk thanks. I hope your friends manage to change their tune OP.

Got that out your system or you wanna come in for another kick? Have at it.

They think that by deciding not to be overweight, you’re criticising them in some way.

It’s bonkers, but that’s what it is!

And yet you didn’t hesitate to accuse the op of something utterly baseless and quite nasty. Perhaps you’d benefit from taking some of your own feedback.

alright it was just a thought, we don’t need a pile on. Someone said it already. 😟

What an odd response.

Saying how good you feel being lighter, to a bunch of strangers on the internet, isn’t gloating.

Seems like you’ve got some issues that have made you read something into this post that others can’t see.

@ToriMJ Yeah very weird when someone says you look ill/don't lose more when they're still thinner.