Lost weight, now losing friends!

Because it gives them informed consent. If someone is really at the "lose weight or die" stage, then they need to know what both outcomes could bring. For example, rapid weightloss is known to be a contributing factor for gall stones, but on balance, they are still a small price to pay compared to massively higher risk of stroke, cardiac issues and certain cancers.

I would class "Ending of significant relationship" as a Common Side Effect, as it is noted in all medicines, in this clinicians experience. I think that not telling patients is actually worse than telling them. Any potential side effect to a medical treatment must be shared with the patient whether that be physical, mental or emotional.

They sound jealous but you can’t have been that overweight if you got to a size 10
in 6 months. Well done on your achievement, don’t let them throw shade at your attempt to better yourself, you didn’t do it for them and perhaps they need to hear that.

This is ridiculous. Maybe in an abusive marriage - but not in a normal marriage. And if it's an abusive marriage - that's not the benchmark - that's akin to saying all MOP are in abusive relationships....

My DH is classified as morbidly obese. He could do with losing weight, but equally he's built like a brick shit house. He's a MOP by clinical definitions and surw he needs to lose weight, but at the same time - he's got a high flying career, he travels all over the world, he has good friends, strong family and a good social life.

So you're telling me if he loses weight and becomes thin - then he's either going to leave me because he can get an upgrade, or I'm going to start abusing him.....

Ok, cool. How does this help my husband gain the motivation he needs to lose the weight - if people start spouting off at him that it will lead to our divorce?

Done properly and tactfully it is informed consent. There is another post which explains the issue in much greater detail than I did.
It's a hard choice. If you're married to someone who married you partly because you tolerate his behavior because you're obese, and so are grateful he married you, is it better to have the security of marriage in that situation, or change the dynamic and risk independence and divorce? I don't think there is one answer for everyone. But you should know the risk. At least, I think so.

Ask yourself - why did the patient need to know that? If you're morbidly obese then losing weight can only be a good thing - how can telling a morbidly obese person that they can either stay fat and married or be thinner and divorced - in any way a good thing for the patient to hear?

Yes, this is what the doctor told me when I asked why. Very well stated! Thank you!

Yeah I remember losing a lot of weight and one it got to a noticeable amount (3 stone in) it was constant comments from everyone, on a daily basis. Nice at first but then I felt like I was being closely observed. And it was boring talking about it so much, I didn't want to.
I just want to leave the fat me behind and be accepted as the new slim me without further comment. It took about a year for the comments to die down

It sounds like they’re jealous op. That’s all I can think of.

That’s why I don’t want to lose because of all the comments and compliments. Some people thrive off having smoke blown up their derrières. Mind you the main reason is because I’m hungry Horace.🤣 I’ll freely hold my hands up.

Yes unfortunately this happens. I went from a size 20/22 to an 8/10 and I get quizzed all the bloody time. They watch what I eat, what in don’t eat. Constantly make comments about not losing too much more. For context I am 5ft. I was 16st 2lb and am now 8st 6lb.
i get asked if I’m on injections lol or what my secret is daily. Friends no longer see me as the fat friend to tag along, and are now in competition with me (I don’t know why) it’s really weird.
i even got told I look like a bag of bones the other day!! But no one ever commented to my face when I was obese and unhappy. Well done on your weightloss 🙌

It doesnt surprise me at all.

Not saying that this happens in all cases but its what happened in mine.

Think about it logically. If a healthy weight person gets into a relationship with a morbidly obese person there is a power imbalance. The HP has more options available to them in most areas of life. They are not judged on their size as MOP is in such things as dating, job interviews, socialising etc. They are not as limited physically with work they can do, hobbies they can partake in, exercise they can take. The MOP is more like to have low self esteem and a lack of confidence so therefore is more likely to accept crumbs instead of proper treatment as they are just grateful someone loves them. (Ask me how I know).

To a person who is insecure and controlling, that is perfect. They need to be with someone who needs them more. They need to be top dog. HP uses MOP to make themselves feel less shit. But if MOP loses the weight and becomes healthier, happier, more self confident then they become the person with more options open to them, including in attracting a new (and better) mate. The hits the HP twice, once in their insecurity and then again in their controlling nature as the (formerly) MOP is now less easy to control both physically and emotionally as ironically their confidence has grown as their body has shrunk. If the relationship was always overtly abusive then that abuse will almost certainly ramp up as the control is lessened (a common phenomenon).

So then one of two things happen, either FMOP realises they have choices and thinks "Fuck this" and leaves (ask me how I know!!). Or HP dumps them and moves on to another person they can use and control instead.

Wowww that's crazy! I presume that wouldn't be the case if the person used to be thin though? I was really thin when I met my husband but have gained loads of weight. I can't imagine us being more likely to split up if I lose that weight!

Jealousy. You are better now, they don't like you being better.

I knew a doctor who specialized in weight loss for morbidly obese patients, and he told me his initial consultation always included a discussion that if the patient's weight loss were successful his/her marriage was then most likely to fail, and the patient needed to know that. The relationship had been established with the patient being obese; when that changed, so did the relationship. He had several possible explanations about why it happened, but he was a pragmatist and said that the "why" may not have been as important as the fact that it did.
Something similar may be happening with OP's friends.

I have recently lost weight and I caught my Mum looking me up and down last week. It's hurtful and bizarre.

😳 omg how rude and immature.

Wtf? 🤨

How bizarre. My friends and I are 50 plus and all sizes. Some very slim naturally. But if any used jabs I couldn't give a toss.One is a fitness fanatic and is lovely slim and toned. I always compliment her. I'm a bit overweight but confident.
I think they're jealous. Tell them to bore off or yawn when they start going on about it. I can't imagine being with such dullards.

Very weird OP.

My only question would be - how on earth do you afford them (the injections)? And how can I get started on them? 😂

Give them a bit time, probably just a bit of a shock.

They are jealous and probably feel judged. Stand your ground and if the subject comes up say you feel so much better and are really enjoying all the benefits, buying clothes etc. I had a friend who put on a lot of weight for no great reason and became extremely grumpy. Going shopping together was no longer enjoyable and she became critical of my choices ("Those stripes don't suit you" etc). When she finally got round to improving her lifestyle the weight fell off her and she became a nicer person again.

Large people develop a litany of reasons for their size. It's glandular. Big bones. etc. etc. Maybe they're right (though it's difficult to challenge 'if it's on your hips it came in through your face').

Anyway. you've demonstrated that it can be done. Annoying.

I had this.

I lost it through diet so I dont think that how you do it is relevant really, its just a handy thing to put you down over. And it was always people who had been bigger or around my size. One of the favourites I got was that I was now "obsessed" with food and boring that I wouldnt just eat what I wanted.

I figured out that the resentment was mainly from people who had spent years bemoaning how it was "impossible" to lose weight, and me doing it proved that it wasnt. Basically, I wiped out their excuse so they couldnt say that they couldnt do it anymore, but didnt want to admit that they couldnt be arsed to do it.

They are not friends, but I am sure that with your new found confidence and happiness you will find some new, good, kind people to be friends with.

Sadly, as much as we see who are our friends when something bad happens, that same is true when something good happens. Envy will always show in one way or another.

Wow, what a bitch!

I had something similar: someone I had considered one of my best friends since my schooldays bemoaned that she was "the ugly friend now" after I lost weight.

Yours are no doubt jealous of your success and disappointed and frustrated in themselves that they're still overweight and unfit.

Well done on getting fit and feeling great.

This sounds like jealousy, pure and simple. And so what if you used weight loss injections to do it, you feel and look great, and that's what matters.
One of the last straws with my friends were the comments over my weight, I had put on a bit (but still a size 12) and they spent an evening over pizza telling me to do those army weight loss classes. After spending years underweight, I was so happy that I had some curves at last, I was absolutely flabbergasted about the comments and so hurt. Women can be so cruel.
Find new friends!