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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is it about men ? ( in swimming pools)

262 replies

Ramblingnamechanger · 11/11/2024 16:34

Another argument in the pool today. Several lanes available to share…one with 2 guys , ours with 2 women and one mixed. The man who arrived later chose ours. Nearly headed into me at 50 mph. I challenged him and suggested he moved into the lane next door with faster male swimmers. He said that he did not want to swim in the lane with the side of the pool. I said my preference was to swim in peace with other women and why was it that my preference was seen as not as important as his . He insisted that he would stay . I told him it was a macho view and we women should have our views and wishes given the same weight. So fed up that again an entitled male pushed it even when challenged.

OP posts:
CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 11/11/2024 16:49

I hate this. They go "I don't want to go in that lane because I'm afraid I won't keep up so I'll just smash all over these women instead at a speed to fast for the lane"

It's why I stopped lane swimming. Infuriating.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 11/11/2024 16:49

jeaux90 · 11/11/2024 16:46

You swim in the lane that matches your speed, I come across these entitled men all the time OP.

Again, maybe they had been entitled claiming the lane as their female only space, and he was swimming at an appropriate speed for the lane. I used to lane swim, and at one point was often fast enough for fast lane - random very slow folk would just get in the faster lane because 'there's more space here' and cause chaos to those around them.

takealettermsjones · 11/11/2024 16:49

Unless there was a big sign saying "women's lane" (which would be both a massive drip feed and somewhat unbelievable), then YABVU.

What does "nearly headed into me" mean exactly? Looked like he was going to approach you but then didn't?

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/11/2024 16:47

DieStrassensindimmernass · 11/11/2024 16:43

Sounds like the lanes are separated based on speed and not the sex of the people you wish to swim with. Was he swimming generally to the speed of the lane and in the right direction? If he was then it's irrelevant what sex he was.

Nearly headed into me at 50 mph.

From the OP.

I see this a lot. Male swimmers who don't want to compete with each other, but happy to compete with women. We're semi-invisible so no threat. They can just plow into us.

My solution? Do backstroke at them.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 11/11/2024 16:46

5128gap · 11/11/2024 16:44

Whether the lanes are divided by sex or speed, a fast male swimmer doesn't belong in a lane with slow female ones, so he was wrong regardless. You might have done better to ask the staff to intervene though if he was in the wrong place. When it comes to things the impact women men often seem reluctant to stay in their lanes.

Unless he was actually the correct speed for the lane and they'd just decided to claim it as theirs?

jeaux90 · 11/11/2024 16:46

You swim in the lane that matches your speed, I come across these entitled men all the time OP.

OrwellianTimes · 11/11/2024 16:45

Your response to him was pretty crazy. Nothing macho about his lane preference.

5128gap · 11/11/2024 16:44

Whether the lanes are divided by sex or speed, a fast male swimmer doesn't belong in a lane with slow female ones, so he was wrong regardless. You might have done better to ask the staff to intervene though if he was in the wrong place. When it comes to things the impact women men often seem reluctant to stay in their lanes.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 11/11/2024 16:43

Sounds like the lanes are separated based on speed and not the sex of the people you wish to swim with. Was he swimming generally to the speed of the lane and in the right direction? If he was then it's irrelevant what sex he was.

Sparklfairy · 11/11/2024 16:40

I'm not sure you should have made this a sex issue, as you just looked like you had a chip on your shoulder and didn't want men in 'your' space.

If you'd focused on the fact that he was swimming too fast to the point he'd collided with you, you may have got somewhere. 'You swim too fast for this lane, it's dangerous, you've already hurt me' etc etc.

Dearg · 11/11/2024 16:38

Sorry, I may have misunderstood. Was the area you were in designated for women? If so he was being very unreasonable and I would have reported him to whomever manages the pool.
Otherwise, although he was a bit arsey, there’s not much you can do.

Comedycook · 11/11/2024 16:36

How are the lanes divided....? By speed or sex? If by speed, then he should have been in the lane that corresponded with his swimming speed. The fact you want to swim with other women is irrelevant unless it's a single sex lane or session