Am i the one who should appologise .....

“My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing” says @Atticus334 you are annoyed she didn’t fwrite something gushing on FB despite presumably telling you F2F. Why when you are close and obviously see and speak to one another did she need to write it on FB? All the other things if you’ve got issues just reduce contact and tell her why you’re annoyed. It’s on both to make amends. I’m getting the vibe that you’re both drama lamas

And this is why I don't do Facebook
I cannot be bothered with the unwritten rules , fake happiness , pathetic jealousy and absolute bollocks it is
Congratulations OP 😃

FGS, the apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it.

You both sound pathetic. Honestly.

Your mum does sound like she could cause a row in an empty room OP. Falling out with your brother because he won't give her money to move. Not attending her grandchild's party because she didn't get a paper invitation. So I'm thinking this tagging is just the latest petty thing she's decided to take offence at and 'punish' you by not liking posts she usually would? If so, then no, don't apologise. Because you'll just be rewarding her bad behaviour of kicking up fuss and falling out with people for the drama of it. Ignore her.

Who cares about Facebook? It sounds like you are both very similar and that's possibly why you have these clashes. She had known about the pregnancy. Too much drama. Perhaps time to revaluate and reflect on both your behaviour towards each other. Enjoy your pregnancy

It’s all rather silly, isn’t it?

I don’t know anyone under 70 that still posts on FB. Perhaps it’s time for you to do the same, OP? You’d have had none of this childish drama then.

This is all so pathetic. You're old enough to be creating life, get off Facebook and stop counting likes.

Considering you sound like you're 12, it's unsurprising that she's not over the moon about your pregnancy.

Why does she need to comment on Facebook when she already knows?

I think you're bring unreasonable tbh and announcing a pregnancy on Facebook coupled with your need for likes and comments seems quite attention seeking.

This could become the motto of MN in many instances! I wonder how many family disagreements are social network based?

@Atticus334 I think people are being a bit harsh. You've used this one thing as an example but there have been countless other things. This is something that if it was the other way about (like her birthday) she would be mad at you for so basically uses these petty things to 'punish' you.

People might think all the examples are ridiculous, but you're the one having to deal with these continuous passive aggressive actions . Very childish for her to not read your sons report when she knows he will expect her to.

But, honestly? She'll never change. You have to either accept it or distance yourself.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I think you should have told her in person first. I think most mums would be upset if they found out at the same time as everyone else on Facebook (I know I would!), but most probably would keep their feelings to themselves.
Edit: should have read your update! As long as you told her before you told Facebook, you have done nothing wrong. I wouldn't let this get in the way of your relationship though, try and make amends.

This is the trouble with Facebook it turns grown up adults into nine year old children, get over it both of you for goodness sake. It Facebook, it’s an online charade, a parade of who did what better than you. I’d knock it on the head and begin living in the real world if I were you.
You have obviously constructed the post in your favour listing all your Mums faults, I wonder how it would read if she had written it.

I don't see why you should apologise and I suggest you just move on. it sounds like whatever happens she will find a way to say you are wrong, it's sad but you can't change her. It all sounds really petty but I get that it builds up, my MIL is also very hard work. The best you can do is not give her your energy to feed off, let her find her drama elsewhere.

My husband never responds to any of my FB posts. I have friends whose husbands post gushing posts on birthdays etc to their wonderful wives, he just says “I’m here on your birthday, why do I need to post on FB” and it is a fair point. All for show. Why do you need your mum to post on FB because you are pregnant?? Admittedly the later points seem a bit unnecessary on her behalf but on the FB thing you are BU

Is it not a bit immature to life your life on Facebook and to be so upset about who likes or comments on the posts you write? Presumably you told her you were pregnant and she has already 'commented' in an actual conversation. So why does she need to do so on Facebook?

You've said that you have had enough.

I think the situation has grown up that your Mum winds you up and then you retaliate in little ways. You don't tag her in the Facebook post, so she retaliates by not commenting.
She's in a huff with you, so refuses to read your son's report.

I think that you need to stop offering her opportunities to do this over and over again, as it seems that you have been sucked into playing her game and it almost sounds like you are using the same tactics back on her.

Forget Facebook and its list of silly unwritten rules. This is compounding the problem you have with your mum and just provides potential for "innocent" slights and snubs.

She sounds like someone who likes to lavish approval one minute (your sisters grad photos) and with hold it the next. For eg, did she say anything nice when you told her you were pregnant. Take a step back and stop doing things that ask for her approval, as it seems she loves with holding it. Find someone to talk to about this and work on ways of dealing with it which are more sustainable and do not reflect back her behaviour because at the end of the day - you probably don't want to be like her.

You know exactly what your Mum is like, you know how she treats you. Therefore you know what to expect. Try to stop wanting her approval. Get your "approval" from people who treat you well all the time.
Stop waiting for her to change - its unlikely that she will but you can start recognising that this is her behaviour pattern and you don't have to react to it or give her "statements" or displays any weight anymore. You're an adult and you are in charge of your life, not her.

Approve of yourself. You have your own lovely children, focus on them and not your mum...if she wants to behave like a petty witholding (fill in the blank) person - leave her to it. Try hard to stop dwelling on what she thinks or doesn't think or the significance of small details and what message she is trying to send by that. I know this is really hard to do as it's such an ingrained habit now as you are longing for her approval. But start thinking - what's good in your life. What things would you like to do. Who do you love spending time with and try to distract yourself from getting drawn into this tit for tat pettiness she's been training you to respond to.

I thought this was a falling out over posting it on social media before telling a close family member at a glance, but we're actually talking about who didn't tag who and who didn't reply? And this has caused a fall out?

Ffs, you're both being unreasonable. Delete all social media at once.

Once more for the people at the back: IT'S FACEBOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Wow, YABVU.

Your mum probably only mentioned the tagging as an excuse because you called and confronted her about not commenting. I’d be pretty annoyed if I were in her shoes!

Why would you comment on a post like that when you already know about it? That’s the difference between your mum and your friend that you hadn’t seen in 10 years. Your mum already knew and had likely congratulated you in person. It was news to your friend so she responded with an appropriate comment. As PPs have said, commenting would be performative. Did your husband comment on it?!

It sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with social media.

You both sound like very sensitive people who get easily hurt and offended, then hang on to the grudge. It's not clear to me why you should tag her in a post about something she already knew about, or why she should comment on a post about something she already knew about.
As to the graduation photos: that was an event she attended that went well and produced lots of photos to share. A pregnancy is a work in progress.

You’re more unreasonable than her. She’s already congratulated you.

Why would your brother need to give your mum money to move house?

In answer to your post, sorry haven't read all the replies, I don't think you need to tag her in the post. I'm grandma and would never expected to be tagged in the post...the news isn't mine, it is for my son and his partner to share.

I rarely rarely post anything on my Facebook , it's generally a births, deaths and marriages announcement page 🤣. I write on it probably once a year. Once my son and partner had announced my granddaughter, I then did it on my Facebook account for my friends and colleagues to see, with their permission. I wouldnt have written anything without their permission or had they said no.

Sticking to the facts of the situation, it seems your mum wanted to be tagged in the news and that way all of her friends, colleagues etc would have seen it too at the same time. You also have to think do you want all those people to see it and comment? I have a very small Facebook with everyone on it, I do know. That's not the case for everyone's Facebook. Your mum may be in several groups (hobbies, knitting, cooking, whatever) and some members of groups get close, add each other to personal pages etc

As for the not commenting, it is a shame. I've always thought commenting on someone's post "is a show of support". Not really related but I got ghosted by my friend of 40 years after covid with no explanation (not to this day even!) And it was then I started to realise the ghosting was real as she's liked every single one of my FB posts in 16 years....and then it just stopped! It's childish to say "she stopped liking my posts"....but really it's "she stopped supporting me". Of course you want your mum to like or comment.

Moving forward I don't know where to go really. Sit it out? Like your mum won't not talk to you forever? Especially when a grandchild comes along! Write her a letter to say it's a ridiculous situation and we need to move on?

Wait...you didn't let your DH know you were going to tell everyone about the pregnancy? I know it's your body but surely letting him know would have been nice.

You're as bad as each other

Personally I wouldn't comment on a post announcing news I already knew. If I'd given my congratulations in person then why do it again on FB.