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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

640 replies

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 13:17

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

OP posts:
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cookiebee · 11/11/2024 19:51

Your wedding sounds delicious, like the concept for a fruit pastels commercial. I laughed out loud seeing you MIL’s dress, I mean for everyone saying you can’t dictate what people wear, there has to be some bloody self awareness from people, she’s gonna look like a bellend, everyone will think it, just make sure the photographer gets lots of photos without her for your album and walls.

My aunts mother in law in the late 1970s attended her and my uncles wedding looking like lady muck. I laughed when me and my aunt were looking through photos after my mum died. It was a green ensemble, with a pointy green hat and fur stole. My mum apparently kept saying “where’s Robin fucking hood gone now?” 😂

Itiswhysofew · 11/11/2024 19:49

She'll absolutely bake in a long, tight, black dress during August is Spain. Just thinking about it'd make you break out into a sweat.

Stunning dress though.

Ask her if she wouldn't mind sticking to the theme, (which sounds lovely), & maybe help her to choose something Wink

WearyAuldWumman · 11/11/2024 19:49

amIloud · 11/11/2024 19:36

Takes me back to when my cousin wore her fucking wedding dress to my wedding.

Anyway OP what is she doing? Is she in mourning or something. No that is not mother of the groom at all, that's some oedipal weirdness going on.

Yup. A black wedding dress to her son's wedding? Oh boy...

StormingNorman · 11/11/2024 19:48

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 11/11/2024 19:44

Where is this from please??? (It’s seriously stunning!)

I also think this would look fab amongst oranges and yellows etc!!!

That’s why the OP’s so unhappy about it!!! MOG is going to pull focus in the photos.

Leoislazy · 11/11/2024 19:48

@janeavrilavril @Grammarnut
you really wouldn’t be even slightly bothered by this dress, bought to resemble the brides wedding dress?

AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.
SnoopysHoose · 11/11/2024 19:47

What did she wear to her other son's wedding?

WearyAuldWumman · 11/11/2024 19:46

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 11/11/2024 19:44

Where is this from please??? (It’s seriously stunning!)

I also think this would look fab amongst oranges and yellows etc!!!

The problem is that it's an actual wedding dress and is in the same style as the OP's. From that point of view, it's not appropriate at all.

Josie901 · 11/11/2024 19:46

Sounds like she's seen a fabulously glam MotG in black - which would be fine if a black tie wedding and not in the Med - and she's trying to emulate.

I'd leave her crack on - she will look like a dick but so be it. The only photo I've framed is just of me and my DH so I could never worry about a 'colour palette' of people I can't control.

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 11/11/2024 19:44

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 14:02

Said dresz

Where is this from please??? (It’s seriously stunning!)

I also think this would look fab amongst oranges and yellows etc!!!

Barney16 · 11/11/2024 19:43

Wow, that's quite a dress. Before the photo I was expecting a Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffany's frock ( which would look amazing). Has she got the wrong end of the stick? Does your OH have a sister who could have a gentle word?

Mummyratbag · 11/11/2024 19:38

I agree with previous poster if the klaxon hasn't gone off in at the DM it will very soon..
Reader asks if MIL is unreasonable to come to her wedding dressed as Morticia Adams...

amIloud · 11/11/2024 19:36

Takes me back to when my cousin wore her fucking wedding dress to my wedding.

Anyway OP what is she doing? Is she in mourning or something. No that is not mother of the groom at all, that's some oedipal weirdness going on.

curtaintwitcher78 · 11/11/2024 19:34

DonnaDonna0 · 11/11/2024 19:04

I would be saying I’m the bride, you don’t get a dress in keeping with the bride- that’s ridiculous. Even she must know that.

Edited because I replied to wrong post. Phone is being juddery.

doubleshift · 11/11/2024 19:33

My MIL wore black. And had sunglasses on for all outdoor photos. She hated me.

Xmasbaby11 · 11/11/2024 19:30

I'm very laidback about wedding attire and was prepared to disagree with you, but, this is pretty gaspworthy - both the style and the colour are very dramatic! YANBU

RadioBaBa · 11/11/2024 19:30

custardcreme77 · 11/11/2024 19:09

The black dress - oh heck - it does look somewhat dramatic and a bit ‘Spanishy’ I suppose.

Is she planning on wearing a mantilla with it, too…and bringing castanets?

I was hoping to be the first to suggest a mantilla! Would make the ensemble much more appropriate.

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:29

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:27

I know.

Jolly good.

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:27

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:26

Thanks, but the question was rhetorical.

I know.

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:27

janeavrilavril · 11/11/2024 18:49

cop on to yourself, you sound ridiculous. The cheek of you thinking you get to dictate what other people wear. What happened to loving and accepting people for who they are and being happy that we get to have them in our lives. All this over a F-in dress.

That’s silly. Are you supposed to be okay with the MoG (or MoB) turning up in a teletubby suit or as a French can-can dancer? Of course you can have guidelines at your own wedding if you wish to.

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:26

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:21

Fresh, summery, sunny, etc.

Thanks, but the question was rhetorical.

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:21

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:14

What is a citrus sevillian orange feel?

Fresh, summery, sunny, etc.

BunnyLake · 11/11/2024 19:20

Good Lord what is she thinking! It’s a beautiful dress but totally inappropriate for your wedding. I’d be firm with her (get her son to be) and say a firm No!

WoolySnail · 11/11/2024 19:16

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:14

What is a citrus sevillian orange feel?

I dunno, but I'm guessing it doesn't include black wedding dresses 🤣

WearyAuldWumman · 11/11/2024 19:16

janeavrilavril · 11/11/2024 18:49

cop on to yourself, you sound ridiculous. The cheek of you thinking you get to dictate what other people wear. What happened to loving and accepting people for who they are and being happy that we get to have them in our lives. All this over a F-in dress.

It's not just a dress though...the MIL has purchased a wedding dress in the same style as the bride's.

venus7 · 11/11/2024 19:14

What is a citrus sevillian orange feel?

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