AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

I did say it was ott, it is there in the post that you quoted.

My point is like it or loathe it you cannot tell guests what they can wear. All the 'colour palette' posts make me cringe more than the black evening dress.

No, I haven't had a blow to the head recently what an unpleasant thing to say.

You were not wrong to give an honest opinion when asked for it, though hopefully you have it politely.

I know black it very not traditional (and seems odd given it’s definitely going to be a summery vibe wedding) however I accept that some people aren’t very comfortable wearing colour and may want a dress they can wear again. However a train is really not on at a wedding.

Your dp needs to tell her mum mothers of the groom wear dramatic black to indicate they are in mourning for the loss of their precious son now the evil bitch he’s marrying has taken him. That might not be what you think, but it’s what all our friends will think when they see it. Please can you wear a colour, not white obviously. Thank you.

It's a wedding dress for goodness sake.

If your MIL and FIL planned to turn up to your wedding wearing, respectively, an inflatable t-rex costume and a gimp suit, do you think you might have a quiet word and tell them not to?

There's dictating what people wear and there's asking someone not to wear something wildly inappropriate.

If she insists on that dress, uninvite her without hesitation.

I can't believe anyone doesn't realize that it's a massive faux pas to wearing a wedding dress to someone else's wedding fgs.

I'm sorry your MIL doesn't 'get it' (like some other posters). This is a really important day for you and yes, most weddings have a colour theme. It may have been mentioned before, but is there an option she can change into that dress (which is stunning and I'm gobsmacked that she thinks its appropriate, even if it was pink!) for the reception - perhaps say that black attracts the heat and she will be uncomfortable and perhaps something more summery is better.

You say you have a really good relationship with her, so I think you should be able to say exactly how you feel about it, sit her down and speak nicely but in the end she's going to do what she wants.

I do also think your fiancé should have a chat with her, providing he understands your feelings. Good luck.
Congratulations on getting married, I hope you have a fabulous day - whatever she wears, you may just have to mentally prepare yourself.

Since they get on well and MIL's into fashion, I'm assuming it must be!
If not ...

Christ on a bike, I had already posted a comment basically saying you can’t dictate style or colour but I had an image of a black cocktail dress not a full length ballgown. She is well out of order. Can’t your husband-to-be speak to her? Show her this thread? Does she have a sister or some sane person who could tell her she will be an inappropriate laughing stock if she tips up in this?

Hi MIL, it’s totally inappropriate to choose a dress for the wedding that is “in keeping” or “similar style” to the bride’s. I’m thrilled that you’re looking forward to the wedding etc, but it’s totally inappropriate to buy a wedding dress style outfit as a guest, and I’m requesting that you don’t wear it. I hope you understand.

Or get your DP to say/send something along those lines.

O.M.G.😳That dress is literally a wedding dress dyed black. If I saw a groom’s mum in that,my first thought would be she feels like she’s actually the bride that’s in mourning for the loss of ‘her boy’ or something.🙄
It is verrrrry upstaging. The fact she admitted out loud: ‘I wanted a dress that’s in the same style as yours’ (whaaat - the bride’s?!?) is just bonkers.
I was amazed when you said you get on really well because that doesn’t fit with what’s happened here at all,I was expecting a MIL-from-hell backstory!🙈I hope your fiancé can make her see sense and you have a lovely wedding. Congratulations in advance.

Omg just seen the photo!!! That’s terrible OP. Definitely get your DO to speak to his mum. That’s not fair x

My MIL ordered a dress in the one colour she was told not to go for as it was the colour of my bridesmaids. What colour dress did she order??? Yep! My DH didn’t mess about, he simply told her she couldn’t wear it and was told that was the one colour to avoid. Thankfully she did.

Could this possibly be a joke?

at that price, I doubt it. they'll just have used the measurements to pick the closest off the rack size.

this is a very good point. at that price, the picture is the one they're copying on the cheap, not the one they're actually selling. chances are it will be disappointing, probably poor quality, maybe even coming apart when it arrives.
don't get me wrong, I know someone that got married in a Chinese ebay dress that cost about £100. it was actually lovely. but when you buy such things you shouldn't be under any illusion you're actually getting the one in the picture. they use the marketing images of the dress they're copying, on a much smaller budget.
they tend to use a lot less material, so the chances are the train won't be as dramatic, even if it is good enough to wear.

there's a good chance it will show up and she'll buy something different, or that if she does think it's wearable, it won't be as bridal as expected.

I actually love this idea! Could you change the attendants' dresses to this style in juicy oranges, yellows & greens?

Your bridal party will look breathtaking and MIL will look like the 'citrus bride' that's gone bad 😄

Absolutely not. This is a job for your DP. He needs to tell her to find another dress or she doesn’t come. Job done imo.

My MIL was a nightmare when planning my wedding. I directed it all to DP who had to handle it.

Bullshit. I'm Spanish, have attended more weddings in Spain I can count with both my hands, and this dress the opposite of "traditional" for the mother of a groom in Spain.

If the wedding is in the evening, the MOB and MOG, can wear a long dress but not this style, and certainly not black.

As another poster said, your MIL is going to wear a black wedding dress, placing her at the centre of the attention as the wedding colours will be cream. You say you have a good relationship with her but be careful, this looks to me as a passive aggressive power play.

It would appear she would stick out like a sore thumb maybe she wants to stand out? very rude imo the dress is very bridal and because its black will draw attention directly to her instead of you in photos. Tell her to lighten up... literally and yes definitely not glamor gran something a bit less bridal or maybe get ur soon to be husband to have a word

Yeah. In the 1940s.

If OP hadn’t mentioned she’s fairly fashion conscious or in-style I’d have been more sympathetic and guessed she was twinning with her DIL out of insecurity, as there will be someone wearing something similar so she knows it will be acceptable and won’t stand out - this is weird anyway but understandable if it is another guest- only, she WILL stand out bc the person she’s copying is the bloody bride! Unbelievable. She’ll look like such an idiot. This is not the attire for someone who does not wish to be in the spotlight. To attempt to upstage the bride who she supposedly gets one well with is unforgivable, but she may feel she can get away with this for that reason.

Yep, wearing a black wedding dress to somebody else’s wedding is basically shouting “it should have been me! Not her, MEEEEE!”

Which is a troubling message to hear from the groom’s mum.

comparing her to a beautiful and glamorous character isn't really going to put her off.

Ive been thinking about this

The fact she asked you means she KNOWS it is totally inappropriate and was trying to force you into a corner to say you like it. Manipulative cow

I would text and say “the fact it is black seems to be quite a statement about how you feel about the wedding even though you may not realise that is how it will be interpreted. Also I wouldn’t have thought I would have to stipulate “no trains” for guests. That is reserved for the bride. I’m more than happy to help you find an alternative dress”

I would NOT beat around the bush here