AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

Get the photographer to stick her at the of the photo's so she can easily be removed or photo shopped out of them..
She will will look stupid dressed like that and if it's warm she will sweat buckets and smell.
Ask her if that's what she wears to a wedding what does she wear to funerals ?

Much better

That's definitely not appropriate for a wedding guest much less MOTG.

Is she in mourning and wishes she was getting married?

It's a bit odd.

That second dress still has a train and is inappropriate imo? Floor length is absolutely acceptable but even an inch past the floor? Nope.

If I went to a wedding and the mother of the groom was wearing that I know what I’d be thinking.

WHAT!!? No, she can't wear that.

I think it’s right that you were completely honest & she did ask you so it wasn’t uncalled for. What she is wearing does sound inappropriate to be honest, but not much else you can do

I do think black is for funerals and not weddings, so if someone like the mother of the groom chooses to wear black to a wedding it could be seen as a poetic dig..

However in this case I'd let it go as she's agreed to change from the other dress with a train which is the main thing.

My thinking is now, the 2nd dress is what she wanted to wear, and knew it wasn't really what you would be hoping she'd wear, so she showed you the first one, so that, in comparison the 2nd one isn't nearly so bad.

I wouldn't get so worked up about what people wear and what photos look like

It wouldn't be my choice to a summer wedding, the first is way over the top and the second is nice but more for an evening ball or something. Especially unsuitable for a 65 year old in broad daylight!

But obviously no one will laugh at or snigger about what the mother of the groom is wearing. Firstly, they won't notice, secondly, they won't care, and thirdly, they are adults with normal manners and respect for the parents of the groom. Unless all the guests are 10 year old boys and even then 1 and 2 would still apply.

I've been to probably 50 weddings and the only time I noticed what anyone except the bride and myself had on, was when my mum was mother of the groom and had an identical dress to one of the guests - and then only because my mum kept talking about it. I doubt anyone else noticed

@MumofHennHals
What did she wear to previous weddings? is she someone who is clueless or attention seeky?

Not sure if this has already been said but I might get someone to suggest to her that the other guests will laugh at her as a) a black dress will look like she’s in mourning (losing her son to another woman) and b) a dress that looks anything like a wedding dress will look like she’s trying to upstage the bride which will get comments and sniggering behind her back… if they care about her I imagine they won’t want her to go through that?

She's very set on having a long black gown. This might be as good as it's going to get in that case. Wonder if this is the one she wanted all along, and showed you the wedding dress as a way of getting you to approve this second dress - only joking 😄 Hope you all have a wonderful day. It sounds like it will be beautiful.

Why? It’s pretty much exactly what the mother of the bride wore at the last wedding I attended, this past summer, though I think very dark green, not black. And this MoB was very enthusiastic about the marriage.

Glad she has come to her senses (somewhat)

That still screams inappropriate + "I have issues with this wedding".

Aren't you worried that this is all very identifying? I wouldn't dream of putting my mils choice of outfit on a forum for all to snigger at.

I get it was very glam and not inkeepimg with the style you were after but do try and show a bit of grace and tolerance. Also hope that no one gets wind of this and passes it on to her or she will be deeply hurt and humiliated.

Doesn't this still have a train though?!

And it’s an evening dress. Does she like to get a spray tan before going away bc black on pale skin on a sunny day isn’t the most flattering of looks, but it’s her choice.

Phew! Much better. I wouldn't agonise over the colours, I had a summer wedding with citrus-ish theme (orange flowers, orange slices for place name) but people wearing dark colours isn't a disaster. In fact if everyone turns up in beige and yellow it would likely look a lot worse. I know a girl who married abroad in a summery wedding and the groom wore a very formal black morning suit - it looked great. She may also change her mind as it gets closer. Drawing into winter the shops are full of dark colours, velvet and sequins. In June she may have a change of heart.

Can't understand why she wants to be in keeping with yours. However, the second option is fine.

Still not ideal 🥴 but pick your battles and leave it be
“…. does it come in yellow?” Might be a step to far 😬

The second is very nice. I get that it doesn’t match your colour scheme but now is the time to be gracious.

It is indeed beautiful - v much like my evening wedding dress. 😂 I think this is probably as good as it's gonna get though OP.

Ah. Have seen the dress and everything I thought previously is out of the window. No, she shouldn't wear that. Everyone will think she's a flamenco dancer in mourning for...well, something...or the Wicked Fairy from Sleeping Beauty. Someone needs to gently tell her that it's a no-no and she will look silly.