AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

It's not supposed to be in keeping with yours - your the bride ffs. If anything she should be co ordinating outfits with your mum.

Is your mother in law Spanish? The Madrinas (mothers) wear formal dress, They may also wear a mantilla veil with a high comb (peineta). For madrinas, the mantilla is traditionally black.

Lord, what is she thinking. There are very, very few 65 year olds who would look amazing in that dress and they’re usually on the red carpet at the Oscars.

I mean at least you might get some free entertainment when she gets up for the first dance and does the paso doble

Maybe she wants to wear black because it’s slimming, or she has hot flashes and sweat marks won’t show.

Sorry to disagree but......It is YOUR wedding, you have every right to dictate anything to do with the close wedding party including attire. My daughters colour scheme was taken into consideration when myself and the grooms mom chose outfits and we checked in with her approval too. Black at a wedding has always been controversial unless a definiate black tie wedding. Set boundaries now or you will find her undemining you in the future.

The dress is most definitely not mother of the groom style. Far from it. The new choice is also black. Can she not pick a nice summer dress? Probably wrong season to look right now

Exactly this. Give her a clear choice rather than going on about a 'colour palette' (which is a bit much, for many Brits at a wedding IMO).

But I showed my 13 yo DS "the dresz" and he guffawed. So even those with a very, very (very!) basic understanding of social etiquette can get their head round the fact that a Strictly standard dress in black isn't reeeeeeally MOG material!

Good luck staying relaxed about option 2 tho

I don't dislike the dress but it will look weird at a hot Spanish wedding when everyone else is wearing bright colours.

Explain that it's a lovely dress but not appropriate for your wedding due to the casual, summery vibe rather than a more formal evening one.

Maybe it's cultural but unless it's a "black and white" wedding, it's not appropriate for anyone to wear black. Even Groomsmen usually wear grey shades unless it's a very formal occasion.

Explain that MotG usually should wear a suit in a pastel shade or a dress and jacket. Having explained mine could wear anything except pale blue, she turned up in pale blue having put my teen SIL in a white wedding dress 🤦‍♀️. Yes, people did ask me if she'd not got the memo.

Wearing black would suggest she doesn't approve of the wedding to guests. And the dress you showed us is a Wedding Dress as some people like marrying in black. Wearing an ostentatious dress means she'll look ridiculous and be an object of ridicule at the wedding. And it's also shocking how much people spill drinks down stuff like that! I'd still be explaining that she'll look a bit odd - it's a lovely dress - but again, it's not a MotG dress. It's a party dress for a formal occasion. She needs to buy a dress and jacket or suit.

My MIL asked what she shouldn't wear, I said "anything, as long as it isn't bright orange". Guess what colour her trousers were.

I just ignored my MIL TBH and let her get on with it. You've told your MIL your thoughts, there's not much else you can do.

It really doesn't matter.
And I hate it when people precede their unkind comments with 'kindly, .....'

She will be horribly hot in black in Spain in August!

Basically she loves it and she's decided to keep it regardless of what you say

My brother and his wife got married in Seville in August, it was absolutely stunning. It was also still 29 degrees at 4am 😬

I simply told my MIL that wearing black implies she's against the marriage which she profusely denied and she ended up wearing a beautiful silvery grey dress instead.

Colour palette 😂
Honestly, people lose their minds.
I couldn't be arsed going to a wedding with a colour palette.

Sorry that’s still inappropriate in my opinion. True self is coming out op

MIL is already trying to assert her authority and if she gets away with it at wedding the husband will do nothing and MIL will then feel entitled to interfere in the marriage any time she wants.

Honesty, she will look mental all by herself. You won't need to do a thing. Let her wear the dress 😂

Tell your husband to be she isn’t invited if she insists on wearing that.
She won’t be in any wedding photos you are in and make sure photographer knows it or they don’t get paid.

My first thought! 🤣

It's like a flamenco dancer in mourning

The second one is nice though

Let her choose her own dress

If she wants a black dress, that's entirely her choice

I don't personally think the dress is right for the occasion but that's on her

How often do you think you will look at the photos? Stop obsessing over it

😂

Not a fair comment, stick shoe on the other foot and surely MIL can see that a relationship with her DIL is more important than her desire to fab it up at a young woman’s wedding.

Relationship building is a 2-way street and we owe it to younger women to validate them just as much as we’d have loved to be validated in our own time.

OP - it sucks but my sense is there ain’t much you can do about it, with it being someone else’s choice ergo out of your control. Just breathe through it.