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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

640 replies

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 13:17

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

OP posts:
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candycane222 · 11/11/2024 13:25

(I hope you didn't include the term "colour palette" in your reply to her! It's just one day in what I hope will be a long and happy marriage, so do try to keep it all in proportion)

OliviaRodrighost · 11/11/2024 13:25

Link to the dress or something similar?

Projectme · 11/11/2024 13:24

She asked your opinion and you've given it. It's entirely up to her whether she wears the outfit or not. But I don't understand why she's got 'funny' with your response. She asked so therefore needs to be prepared for a response she's not going to agree with.

Jellyslothbridge · 11/11/2024 13:24

Are you sure she wasn't pulling your leg?

Unicornsbumhole · 11/11/2024 13:24

The fact she has asked your opinion on it i would hazard a guess she knows its inappropriate

CurledUpLikeADog · 11/11/2024 13:24

You can’t dictate what people wear at a wedding. It sounds a really odd choice BUT the choice is hers to make. Obsessing over colour themes is, and I say this kindly, a bit ridiculous unless you only have 2 people at your wedding.

BarbaraHoward · 11/11/2024 13:23

Btw, if she wears a lot of black normally I'd be fine with that (it's more important that she's comfortable than whether she fits the theme) - but full length with a train is quite the statement.

ExitPursuedByABare · 11/11/2024 13:23

I think black will look quite striking against your colour palette. 🤷‍♀️

AntoinetteNoCake · 11/11/2024 13:22

Blimey. She is really wanting to be dramatic isn't
she! She will look ridiculous and like she is really grabby for attention

BarbaraHoward · 11/11/2024 13:22

Is your MIL Morticia Addams?!

You should've let her turn up in it and make a complete fool of herself.

candycane222 · 11/11/2024 13:22

I mean honestly? Are you sure your "colour pallette" is actually more important than your relationship with a really important member of your family? Yes, she'll look odd, and you could have perhaps suggested that the other people will be more colourful so she'll stand out a bit, to check she's ok with this.

But please don't get yourself worked up about it, it's your own vibe you're killing.

DaylightTreachery · 11/11/2024 13:22

Honestly, I don’t think you can veto other people’s clothes. She asked for your opinion, you gave it to her, but what she does in response to that is up to her.

I don’t think anyone is likely to see a black dress as ‘bridal’, train or no train, anyway.

LadyKenya · 11/11/2024 13:21

I would be tempted to say nothing more going forward. She does not have to be in all of your wedding pictures. It will just cause problems trying to question her choice of attire.

kittylion2 · 11/11/2024 13:21

With a train? What was she thinking - and black at a wedding? (Is that a thing nowadays?) No, I think you were right to voice your concerns, but if she does turn up wearing that, take consolation in the fact that all the guests will think she is a complete dick.

35965a · 11/11/2024 13:21

Well she asked your opinion and you gave it so you’ve done nothing wrong.