AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

OP I think you should get your DP to speak to her, she'll probably listen to him.

Is she in mourning about you marrying her DS?

Do you not believe OP that these dresses exist?

A quick google shows there are plenty.

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3 - very similar shape to my own wedding dress actually.

OMG OP, if your MIL wears black to your wedding she will stand out like a sore thumb, and you can bann her from your photos because she will look hideous.

She'd be dressed for a funeral and thats so rude and disrespectful to you and your fiance.

Is she taking the piss? Does she hate you?

I can't believe people are saying they'd be OK with their MIL wearing a pure black dress with a train at their wedding. Talk about a poor metaphor and some serious passive-aggression from her!
I mean, I'd be tempted to let her because she'll look like a right plank. Just make sure to get a few tasteful photos when she's not in the line of sight and ask photographer to photoshop it peach or something.

She will look completely ridiculous in the photos so yes, definitely try to steer her away. PP’s suggestion of ‘oh, won’t you be awfully hot in that?’ is a good one.

Personally I dislike black at weddings but I know it’s become acceptable and I’m behind the times. Definitely won’t look good on the mother of the groom though, and a long black dress with a train is going to scream either ‘fancy dress party’ or ‘I heartily disapprove of this marriage’.

I really want to see the dress as well!

My partner has just suggested you have somebody Photoshop the dress to be a different colour in all the photographs so she doesn't stand out as much, which might be quite passive aggressive but I quite like the idea!

A train? Can you link, op, as any non wedding dress with a train sounds extremely unusual, if not frankly unbelievable?

She asked. You told her. You haven’t done anything wrong.

I expect she knows it’s a bit much and was looking for reassurance/permission.

Reminds me of my friend’s SIL who asked her if she’d mind her wearing white to friend’s wedding. Friend said well yes to be honest she did mind. SIL wore it anyway.

If she wants to look like the Bride of Dracula, let her…

It’s an invitation, though, not a law. A poster had a recent thread on a wedding with a dress code where she didn’t have spare cash to buy a new outfit, clearly worried a lot about it, but when she showed up at the wedding (can’t remember if she tried to obey the ‘code’) loads of other guests weren’t dressed according to the dress code, either.

This.

I think you can get away with black to a wedding if you can liven it up with other bright colours /accessories. Only as a guest though, not as mother of the groom because as a previous posted suggested it will look like she's mourning her son getting married.

The train is a whole other level of inappropriate lol. Tell her to change it, if not tell the photographer to do plenty without her because she's going to look like the ghost from the woman in black, lurking in the back of all your pictures 😂

Sorry but that's hilarious that she thinks that's an appropriate dress!!! Is she worried about sweat patches?!?

I've been invited to loads of weddings where they said what colours you weren't allowed to wear on the invitation. Even when it was just evening dos on a February week night.

Black at a wedding is pretty rude! I'm sure it's what you wear when you disapprove of the marriage.

Spanish people will assume she's widowed.

Also train eek! I'd be taking to the photographer about cutting her out of the planned photos tbh. She clearly trying to attention steal.

I don't think you can set a colour palate but definitely can say its too bridal shape.

She will look like she's mourning her son getting married

Could you gently talk her out of it with flattery? Something like "oh MIL, I was meaning to ask you if you'd consider wearing x or y. You're so important to us and we were thinking of having a couple of special pictures taken with you. It would look so lovely if your outfit complimented mine and your son's".

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

I think it’s unreasonable to expect your guests to fit in with the colour and theme you’ve decided upon, unless you’re also going to be buying their outfits. I can’t imagine a black dress looking in any way bridal anyway, so it seems a non issue.

I think guests should be able to wear whatever colour they want, and not be 'themed' by the bride. But a train? God, no. Is it really an actual train?

You've given her you opinion so it's up to her. It does sound like she's channelling a Morticia vibe! What's with a train?
Your guests will look at her and be like 🙄

Do give the photographer a specific list of groupings for photos that you and DF both want - she'll only need to be in a couple of them.

Is she usually a good MIL?

It sounds a bit pass-agg to me (as in she’s mourning the fact her ds is marrying you🤣) does she has form for pulling shit like this?

I don’t think you can dictate what colour guests wear - that’s a bit much - but you could steer her away by saying something like “lovely dress but it’ll be boiling in August in Spain, won’t black be a bit warm?”

If you feel put out by the train, people will generally think she’s a bit cringe.

The mother of the groom wearing black to her son's wedding is going to make all her friends and relations think she is being nasty. Not a good look for her. Hopefully one of her friends will realize and persuade her to change it for something a bit more colourful.

I don't think there is anything you can do and an earlier poster is correct, you don't want to damage a relationship with your future MIL because she is stuffing up your wedding colour palette. Black and orange is very Halloween. Maybe get her a handbag shaped like a pumpkin to carry on the day. She may as well go the whole hog.

Reply...

Hahaha you nearly got me there with the wicked stepmother costume joke 😂
Looking forward to seeing your real outfit

Hopefully it gives her the chance to agree it was a (bad) joke.

Pretty sure that's the OP!