AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

Wowsers - that is certainly a strong choice for mother of the groom!

I came on to say that I’d let her crack on - you probably won’t notice on the day. My mother in law wore full length cream on my wedding day, and I honestly didn’t notice until so saw the photos!

But this is a whole other thing…you’re saving her from herself tbh.

@OutwiththeOutCrowd haha very good!

I think the dress is attention seeking and your MIL is unlikely to look good in it, unless your MIL is Carla Bruni.

Would she compromise and agree to change into it for the evening and get something more daytime appropriate for the actual ceremony + photos?

That's a beautiful dress, but it is very attention getting (in a good way) and will really stand out in the photos if everyone else is wearing pale oranges and yellows, especially if she has the figure and attitude to carry it off.

Obviously it's better to focus on the marriage not the wedding and not spoil a relationship over colour choices, but does she really want to be the focus of all the photos she is in?

She is BU for asking for an opinion then getting huffy.
YABU for thinking people have to wear certain colour/shades to make your photos look good.
A more tactful way ie suggesting she might be too hot wearing a long black dress and offering to go shopping with her may have gone down better

Yabu. You just grateful guests come to your wedding you can't tell them what to wear. The back look stunning against the orange. The wedding is one day, you marrying into the family which is more important...the relationship you have if your grooms family. Let this go.

Does she have the figure for that dress, amazing if she does! Do they do it in other colours? Could she get the same style in a more acceptable colour as a compromise or is it just available in black or white.

Could your husband to be or your mum (if they get on well) have a word with her and say you are just a bit concerned it will be a bit dark as you are going for a bright colourful theme and she will rather stand out from the rest of the guests.

It sounds like she's wanting to do something extravagant and has probably invested a lot of money on the dress thinking you would love it as much as she does. Very unfortunate to fall out over this, can you get her a really colourful corsage to brighten it up? What is your mum going to wear could you discuss it in that context, mother of the bride and mother of the groom having equivalent sort of outfits not out doing each other.

Trouble is it's all a bit late if she's bought the dress.

Love how the bride is supposed to consider this but apparently the MIL isn't, despite having presumably had her own wedding and if not certainly invited to a few.

God no, at least black won't clash with the bridal group colours. I was thinking at least it's black!! She could have chosen hot pink.

@MumofHennHals if you wanted her to blend with the bridal group you could have included her in the planning & buying of the outfits.

at least black is not clashing,

it's a weird choice of dress. Mutton dressed as lamb. (Im 55. I'm assuming she's 50+ but even if younger it's not appropriate as MOG). I'm a bit on the fence about the black as particularly in Spain, she will probably send a mourning vibe out. Even amongst your British guests. ( if they are?!)

as for wanting the shape to be like yours, that's a bit nuts, but if you generally get on well I'd just be rolling my eyes & focusing on 'it could be worse!

I think your bridal group colours could be really tricky for a MOG to fit in with though.

But she is getting married in Spain. If MOTG was doing research on what to wear, this is exactly what would be suggested!

Also, we don’t know if any of the families have Spanish ancestry. We don’t know what the link is.

I went to a wedding in Seville and the MOTG wore the traditional black mourning bridal dress - she was on the British side! It was the bride who was Spanish. They all pitched in and did the Spanish traditions because that’s where they were getting married.

So you can’t assume unless the OP decides to provide more context.

The train is extremely rude.

Crikey! You come across as very controlling OP. What happened to the bride choosing her own dress and the bridesmaids, then everyone else choosing their own clothes? The purpose of a wedding is to declare your love for each other and maybe have a bit of a party afterwards. The whole colour matching thing sounds a nightmare.

meant size 10 of course

That was my exact thought. She must be pulling your leg. If she's not, show her this thread.

Jesus, unless she's 25, 5 foot 8 and a size 1 she'll look a bugger in it. I would be mortified as well - WTH is she thinking!!

So? Op seems to be embracing all other things Spanish related - decorating the venue with Valencia oranges (why??), making her bridesmaids wear yellow to match the sun… 🤷🏻‍♀️

There are so many things wrong with it! The train, the black, the boobs!

I’d just flow with it TBH. It will be a hilarious anecdote you dine out on for ages. If you’re getting some photos framed just don’t choose ones with her in it.

or just reply to it ‘it looks a bit like a funeral dress to me! Do you have anything brighter you could wear?’

I suppose you could tell her that the dress is objectively beautiful, but you would love to see her in something more summery, in a less mournful colour, like the rest of the wedding party. Not much you can do if she digs her heels in.

Unfortunately, she can wear whatever she likes, that is not your choice to make. Addams family vibes will be fun though :) Maybe try to get your to be DH to talk to her.

@CatamaranViper have you seen the photo of the dress though?

It's a wedding not a photoshoot.

I find it so depressing that so many people prioritise the photos over the real reason for being at a wedding.

But they aren't Spanish!

The issues of colour palette and the appropriateness of looking like one of the Addam’s Family at her son’s wedding aside, I think you might even lead with the practicality issues.

I don’t know exactly where you’re getting married, but if in Spain, I assume you’ve chosen it for the setting, which I’m guessing is likely to be an old building or maybe a vineyard. I’m picturing old building, narrow spaces, steps, cobbles or a garden patio rocks, dust, cobbles, etc. A dress with a train like that will get stuck on things, stepped on, twisted around something, etc. It’s going to look awful pretty quickly, especially with the light coloured dust in much of arid Spain, and she’s going to fall over.

There you go - she probably searched on Pinterest for appropriate dresses for a MOG/B in Spain and that's what it came back with, so she found one.

I suppose it depends on how Spanish you want the whole thing, then!

Seeing the dress actually makes it so much worse.
I think I gasped out loud.

Is she a fashionable woman? Does she do a lot of high impact dressing?
What is her day to day style like? Does she dress like "the dress" or is it out of the blue?

Maybe if she's not into clothes and lives in dog walking attire like me and she is clueless and thought it was right? Some salesperson in a bridal shop told her she looked amazing?

Oh dear