AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

“Obviously it’s up to you what you wear but black is an odd choice for a wedding, especially one in the sunshine. Also a train seems a bit strange if you’re not the bride.” She asked for an honest opinion. I wouldn’t have said “can we keep it…” as that sounds like you’re trying to influence the outfits when you actually don’t get a say in what guests wear.

@MumofHennHals I thought it was protocol that anyone wearing black to a wedding had to get the permission of the bride??? she will look like a twat! hopefully she will trip over her 5" stilletto heels and train! does she even know how to walk in a long dress??

Just leave her to it OP, she will stand out for all the wrong reasons and it won't go unnoticed with the other guests. Leave her to make a fool of herself

"No, you can't wear a black wedding dress to my wedding. What were you actually planning to wear?"

She's clearly a loon - or bad at jokes

Oh my goodness, she really does think the day is all about her doesn't she? Your best bet is to completely ignore the competitive aggression in her choice and don't discuss it again. Say that you are sorry if you've offended her and of course she should wear what she feels comfortable in. That way, if she goes ahead and wears it, it's completely on her and she can't say you gave her approval. That means that it's her who will have to live with the responsibility of looking like the woman who tried to upstage the bride and, as other posters have said, you can have a good laugh about it over the years to come.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them ...

Get DP to talk to her.

Golly- I got married 9 years ago- had the most beautiful wedding. Didn’t once care or think what others wore. I suppose if someone wore a white wedding dress I would have been taken aback but I never thought about photos and colours. I think some weddings have got quite out of proportion- it’s a day to celebrate your love for each other. Don’t sweat the small stuff !

You can only edit your posts on here for a few seconds. Besides people can easily read all the OP posts before posting anyway.

I think you can kindly point out 'I appreciate you putting that thought into it, but actually as the bride I want to stand out and don't want others to wear a similar style'

My mum would wither any MIL of mine that turned up to my wedding in a bloody black widows wedding dress! Your guests will judge her as either a tragic attention seeker or think she is in mourning for her son. She is competing with you on your wedding day. Not nice behaviour.

Well tbh it doesn't really look like a "funeral dress" does it so I'm not sure if that response would work!

This is good advice.

If she really wants to wear it, go with the flow be pleased she's happy and have a good anecdote forevermore about your wedding. That will be more interesting in 25years than a matchy photo you've probably now put away.

"Remember your mum all in black! She bloody loved that dress and swanned about thinking she looked like a Hollywodd star instead of Mortica Adams."

I don't think we know that - OP has previously mentioned family in Spain.

I think colour palettes for guests at weddings are stupid and an extra hassle for guests. Black is a traditional colour for MotG in Spain and if an evening wedding then likely to be long rather than knee or calf length.

@Theak

whst colour do you think though? Bright colours will clash, pastel colours will look horrible, navy will stand out just as much (though less morally objectionable) browns/greens will give single:pumpkin vibes) I just can't think of a colours that will fit with the bridal party without actually being one of those colours.

OP didn't ask, MIL asked her opinion

She's actually going to make a complete fool of herself showing up in a goth wedding dress.

Totally inappropriate & not because its black but because if it was in white it would obviously be a wedding dress!
A really bizarre choice. What's your mum wearing? Maybe you can frame it that you wanted the mums to look similar?
Not sure on what planet someone would think that trying to look like the bride is a good idea at a wedding?

I think maybe you should edit your first post to include a photo of the dress -might impact people's responses!
Wow - is she for real? I hope you have showed your hubby.

I always think of Rachel Welch at her son's wedding when I think of Mil's wanting to be noticed!

Is she trying to fit in with local custom but isn't sure because she's not Spanish? It's not what I'd expect a British MOTG to wear, and she'd have to have a great figure to carry it off, but if it is normal for Spanish MOTGs and she's in tremendous shape, then ok. It's a spectacular dress. It's all about being appropriate and I'm British so can't say.

@MumofHennHals I was going to say that youre being unreasonable because it's really sad to be so focused on what photos will look like and not on the comfort of your guests/feel of the day. I think people get a bit obsessed with appearances because of aesthetically focussed social media and forget the actual important part which is the emotions and celebration of the day.

But then I saw the dress. She cannot be serious! It's a wedding dress for a die hard goth not a dress for MOG. It does look like she is going to a funeral where she weirdly wants to be sexy?! Is she usually dramatic or has she just not been to a lot of weddings. It's just not appropriate.

Ffs.

She has lost the plot. It's completely inappropriate.