AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

Now I’ve seen the dress bloody hell!

get your Dp to have a word… Ask her what wedding has she been to where any other person than the bride had a dress with a train. It’s a wedding not a black tie event . Also black at a wedding is usually (and definitely in this case) faux pas - He wants her to look fabulous and that dress isn’t it . Maybe say he (you in the background probably) will help. Basically kill her with kindness

I heartily second this! She might get away with a short black cocktail dress, sleeveless or short sleeved at most, but otherwise it will be very uncomfortable in southern Spain at the height of summer .
And as another poster said, many Spanish guests will assume she is a widow.

I think the people who are all ‘oh I wouldn’t dream of dictating what people wear to my wedding, it’s all about love!! 🥺’ people are being bloody silly. If she wears that dress, it’s going to be the first thing your eye is drawn to in any pictures. It’s your wedding, you deserve to have nice pictures of it where you and your husband are the main focus, not some twit in a black dress! I’d put my foot down and tell her to stop being ridiculous and buy an appropriate dress.

Just tell her people will think she's copying Morticia so you want to save her from the nasty comments. You only had her best interests in mind......you didn't want people to think she was going as the bride of Frankenstein.

Morticia

That is WILD that she thinks that's ok for a wedding.

Black is what old women wear in Mediterranean countries. Tell her that

She’s going to look like a dick.

Yes - as PP have said, it definitely has a Morticia Addams vibe. I'm all for people wearing what they want, but I thought it wasn't the done thing to wear a black dress at a wedding, but maybe things are different in Spain. However, I am old so probably out of date (and am still a little bit sore about my own DM wearing a pale champagne colour to my wedding, made the photos look a bit washed out.)

Have you explained to her it'll look like she's going to a funeral and potentially people will see this in very poor light? Or maybe her son could tell her?

Honestly? I can see why you’d be a bit taken aback BUT can you be kind and gracious about her choice? Tell her she looks lovely and have a really nice day. The ceremony is about the bride and groom but the reception is about the guests. Don’t be that bride who makes a fuss about someone else’s outfit.

Is she going to be cracking out her flemenco moves 💃🏿?
I think it's actually a horrible dress objectively

just let her wear what she wants and if she ends up looking ridiculous with people side eyeballing her, then that’s her problem.

Remember that a wedding is about the commitment between 2 people, not about the photos. Don’t let a dress get in the way of a good relationship.

if you are desperate and the photos are that important to you, when the photos come in you can get somebody to photoshop the dress to a different colour and trim the tail!

Why so captious?. Weddings have been themed and had colour palettes for a long time. Class markers, style markers, are always used even if the participants pretend to ignorance (formal/informal, ethnic, traditional, hippy, outdoor, etc…)So showing up in inappropriate clothing has always been frowned on even if, formerly, the reason was class or style. Today this includes colour/overall aesthetic issues (summery, light, appropriate, etc…). Poor OP doesn’t need condescension on top of the mammoth stress and expense of this big event.

If it makes you feel any better I had 3 people wear full length white gowns to my wedding. It was a standard wedding, I hadn’t issued a dress code or asked people
to wear specific colours. I didn’t really care that much - I was more bemused as it did confuse the staff - they weren’t sure what person in white to go up to. Bizarre.

You could send her pictures of the other outfits (groom and bridesmaids), decorations and colour palette, to show her how off a black outfit would be, and not at all in keeping?

That's hilarious. It literally looks like she has dyed a bridal gown black.

You've given your opinion, so let her wear it and make herself look a twit. We still talk about DB's two SILs turning up to his wedding dressed all in white.

While I agree with you that dress is inappropriate, YABU trying to insta-perfect your wedding and going on about a colour palette.

I can only assume that she's a cunt but you've never noticed until now. Its insane.
If she won't listen to you then her son will have to step in.

Yep

@MumofHennHals specify the dress code in the invitation!! and No, I dont even think that dress is remotely in keeping with a mother of the groom position!! what the hell is she thinking of? she is 65 not 30 and she will look like mutton dressed as lamb

She is honestly joking. And no harm to her but that dress if not remotely age appropriate for it.

Tell her you’d like hers to be “in keeping” with the colour scheme but as for the dress shape, you don’t think any wedding guest should wear a bridal-shaped gown bar the bride.

Im honestly gobsmacked!!

That's either a joke or she really doesn't like you marrying her son.

Wearing a 'wedding dress' style dress to someone elses wedding, plus it's quite 'sexy' with the neckline and transparent bits, plus it's black (and it doesn't sound like a goth colour palette is what you're going for). If she wears it, people will assume she: doesn't like you and is being spiteful in a passive aggressive way; doesn't know how to dress in an age- and role-appropriate way; and is struggling with boundaries with her son. Or just laugh at her.

Well, google brought up this one for a start.

I really hope it's this one.

Find something similar in summer colors?

Is wedding “black tie” & formal …. This is literally a “gown” for evening / black tie wedding.

I would have told her that it was very much up to her what she wore and left her to it. Let her make an idiot of herself if she chooses. 😉

You can't dictate what others wear to a wedding, not even to your own. Guests just get on with it and honestly, it can be fun watching what they come up with. 🤣🤣

I like it! Why not?! It doesn’t look bridal . Let her crack on!