AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

That dress is ridiculous for any wedding. But all that will happen is she'll wear it and people will be laughing at her. Nothing you can do.

It is lovely but that is some train! The fact that it is a similar shape to your wedding dress IS going to make her look like she is competing

Can you send her suitable alternatives or a photo of what your mum is wearing?

Having seen the dress after I posted I think it looks very bridal even though it is black and I think it looks extremely attention seeking.

I think it might backfire for her if she wears it.

And the dress might just be a harbinger of what is to come - a Spanish-themed mother and son dance complete with swirling red cape and clacking castanets.

Brace yourself, OP!

I really like the dress, it does have flamenco vibes. Why would she need to cover up? It is Spain in August. I do agree that black is controversial for a wedding though.
For posters suggesting DH speaks to his Mother and I've planned it for a year all on my own This gives the impression the groom has done nothing towards the event. This doesn't sound ideal.

Wheres the photo? Have I missed it.

Is she Spanish? I ask because I'm also marrying a Spanish man, and have learned that in Spain Mother Of The Groom is a massive "thing", and the dresses marketed for MOGs often have trains. My MIL has also been sharing examples with me that have small trains.

I'd say patronisingly, "well as long as you like it, you must wear what you're comfortable in". Then I'd stage whisper to nobody "we can always airbrush her out of the photos".

I think you need to be honest when it has all cooled down. That is not an appropriate MOTG dress, it is clinging and cleavagy and puts her at the centre of the day. I would ask your groom to intervene here and tell her that she needs to wear something less knock-out evening wear, and more demure day-wear!

It’s a beautiful dress but it is essentially a bridal gown.
She will look like a (very glamorous) gangster’s widow.. 🥴

I see A LOT of weddings in Spain and I have NEVER seen the MOB or MOG in black, let alone a bridal gown …. She will stand out like a sore thumb 😬

Bizarre. Is she planning to be Odile to your Odette?

If I turned up as a guest at a wedding where the MIL is, I’d think she was an insecure dick who wanted to steal the thunder from the bride. What does DH say?

I gasped when I saw the photo
I think it's so inappropriate!
Black dress maybe.. but not that attention seeking one, and she's being ridiculous to think a train is a good idea
Hopefully it will be too hot for her to wear it on the day.. even a sundress would look better in the photos
Maybe she'll chat with friends and they will tell her but DF needs to have a quiet word I think

True but my point still stands.

My now MIL wore black to mine and DH's wedding. People did notice and comment to me, after the day. Nothing like the dress your soon to be MIL is planning though. Christ. All a bit showy off.

A PP posted a link to Spanish mog as being similar to this dress, but they're not. They're black/ dark but surprisingly stylish for mob/mog.

Black is for funerals, not weddings. She will look like she's in mourning for her son or something.

I'd be tempted to let her crack on so I could laugh about it though. But that's just me.

Could she have it altered to remove the train, and pop and orange belt onto it, to ties it in with the other colours?

The dresses in that all have quite conservative necklines and sleeves and are very clearly MOB / MOG outfits- not comparable at all!

I would assume a MIL didn't like their DIL if they wore that dress to the wedding!

I also hope she's just winding you up!

I think it is quite common to wear black to formal weddings in some countries, especially if they are in the evening and with a black tie dress code. I think it would have been perfectly fine to point out kindly that everyone else will be wearing bright/light colours so she might feel a bit out of place. But not great to make it about your colour palette and her being too bridal (black is definitely not bridal!). So without hearing exactly what you said and how you said it, it is hard to know where the balance of behaviour lies here.

Hope you can both get past it. It is only a dress!!

A relative's MIL turned up to the wedding wearing a full length very pale pink ballgown with a hint of a train. She looked like Miss Havisham. (She'd have been about the same age as me - in her 60s.)

Turned out that her daughter - the bride - had picked it out with her. To this day, I can't imagine what they were thinking of. Their choice, though.

The pictures on your link are nothing like this awful dress. Tbh, they're some of the better mog pictures I've seen on MN

Rather than tell her what is wrong with the black dress maybe tell her how flattered you are that she wants to echo your look and suggest some alternative dresses, you get on well so offer to look together?