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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

640 replies

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 13:17

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
JawsCushion · 11/11/2024 17:31

The dress is beautiful but not for MIL. I said yes to my MIL wearing the colour she chose even though I was thinking wth and it rankled for a while. Just in my head mind.

peachesarenom · 11/11/2024 17:30

I would suggest something similar without a train and in a peach? Maybe put it next to your grooms suit so she can see it would make a lovely picture! Good Luck OP!

Bignanna · 11/11/2024 17:28

OP- please let us know the outcome!

lightsandtunnels · 11/11/2024 17:26

If she does wear it, she's going to look like the absolutely desperate attention seeking MIL that she is in this instance! The dress is gorgeous but one million percent inappropriate for a MOG. I would tell her (especially as she asked your opinion) that it really isn't appropriate for the MOG to wear a dress in the same style as the bride to her son's wedding - it's just weird.

WoolySnail · 11/11/2024 17:24

Thunderpants88 · 11/11/2024 17:14

Sorry but we NEED to see the dress in question

Click see all next to OP posts

WoolySnail · 11/11/2024 17:23

Peachy2005 · 11/11/2024 15:13

I think maybe you’ve overdone it with the whole “making her feel included in everything”idea and now she can’t see past trying to look as amazing as possible, regardless of actually looking like a try-hard idiot in the heat! Is she trying to compensate for something she missed out on in the past or hoping people will think she’s the main character or could be a bridesmaid?

Even if that dress was in a different colour, you need to be clear that the style is not appropriate.

This ⬆️ with bells on!

TriangleLight · 11/11/2024 17:23

Cerealkiller4U · 11/11/2024 16:50

I agree with this

It is literally a wedding dress

Dishwashersaurous · 11/11/2024 17:22

Omg that dress is a million times worse than I imagined, and everyone knows black is a no no at a wedding

Pat888 · 11/11/2024 17:22

Don’t do ‘official ‘ photos - ok one with the DPs but have lots with friends, and the bridesmaids. No one wants photos of in-laws on their wall -do they??

Poodleville · 11/11/2024 17:18

I was already in agreement of you before you posted a pic of the dress. Oh my.
Now is when you'll find out if she really does like you or if she's harbouring some secret resentment towards you for marrying her son! Tell her it's a Spanish themed wedding, not hot Italian widow themed. I really wouldn't blame you for gently putting your foot down on this one.

Tangerinenets · 11/11/2024 17:18

I couldn’t have cared less or noticed what people wore to my wedding. The wedding was about me and my husband getting married and that’s it. Honestly why are you bothered, what difference does it make really?

user1484745101 · 11/11/2024 17:17

Thisismetooaswell · 11/11/2024 14:04

Seriously? It didn't even occur to me to ask what colour my MIL was going to wear to our wedding (ours, not mine!!) She should be free to wear whatever suits her and she is comfortable in. It's one day

Did you not read where OP said MiL asked op her for opinion?

Bignanna · 11/11/2024 17:16

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 14:02

Said dresz

It’s a fabulous dress, more if a ball gown, though, is she trying to out do you?

Thunderpants88 · 11/11/2024 17:15

Sorry just saw it and nearly spat out my tea.

that is AWFUL and SO inappropriate

Thunderpants88 · 11/11/2024 17:14

Sorry but we NEED to see the dress in question

BibbityBobbityToo · 11/11/2024 17:12

Omg, lovely dress but she'll look like a prize plonker in that at your wedding 🫣

Lollypop701 · 11/11/2024 17:07

Cerealkiller4U · 11/11/2024 16:54

I’m in Spain right now

its hot here and a black dress with a train will be boiling for her

her make up will melt.

So will look like a zombie rather than vampire bride 😂

BotanicalGreen · 11/11/2024 17:06

If she can't send it back, she can keep it for next Halloween.

Kisskiss · 11/11/2024 17:04

LookItsMeAgain · 11/11/2024 16:57

Not if it has been ordered tailored to her figure. I don't think you can send back a tailored fit item.

I saw the photo and thought "Hell no" and then I saw the one of the back of the dress and thought "attention seeker".

It is wholly inappropriate to wear a black wedding dress to the wedding. I was hoping that the dress could be altered to work but I cannot see any way to shorten the dress without the back lace panel then becoming the focus so I really think that the dress will have to go back or she'll have to cancel the order.

I want to see the back 😆

LookItsMeAgain · 11/11/2024 16:59

Do we know if she ordered off Ali Express or from the bridal website itself? If it's from Ali Express, perhaps the dress that will arrive will look nothing like the one in the bridal website #fingerscrossed

Kisskiss · 11/11/2024 16:58

Cerealkiller4U · 11/11/2024 16:50

I agree with this

The OP said it’s a similar style to her wedding dress, so yeah it will look odd if the two of them are wearing similar things in opposite colours at the wedding…

LookItsMeAgain · 11/11/2024 16:57

Davros · 11/11/2024 16:41

So what if she's ordered it? She can send it back

Not if it has been ordered tailored to her figure. I don't think you can send back a tailored fit item.

I saw the photo and thought "Hell no" and then I saw the one of the back of the dress and thought "attention seeker".

It is wholly inappropriate to wear a black wedding dress to the wedding. I was hoping that the dress could be altered to work but I cannot see any way to shorten the dress without the back lace panel then becoming the focus so I really think that the dress will have to go back or she'll have to cancel the order.

WearyAuldWumman · 11/11/2024 16:57

Cerealkiller4U · 11/11/2024 16:50

I agree with this

I might have agreed, but the frock is marketed as an actual wedding dress. I'd be going ballistic.

Kisskiss · 11/11/2024 16:56

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 14:02

Said dresz

Omg just saw the photo. It looks like a black wedding dress!!!!
no yanbu, it’s weird for her to wear that! And she really shouldn’t have asked if you thought if was appropriate if she was planning on ignoring you anyway..

Cerealkiller4U · 11/11/2024 16:56

MumofHennHals · 11/11/2024 14:02

Said dresz

I mean that’s an incredible dress. I absolutely love it.

not helping I know 😂