AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

It’s not the colour that’s the issue. It’s the fact that it’s a bloody wedding dress in the same style that the bride is going to wear. What the feck was she thinking??

I've been thinking on and I do agree about the colour being part of it too. You're right - it's the Halloween thing. Black and orange are classic Halloween colours. It's all kinds of wrong which ever way you look at it

Is this for real?

Why did she wear a mourning colour for a happy occasion? And was it a summer wedding?

Has she bought the original or a drop shipped dress from Ali Express? There's a good chance that when it arrives it won't look like it should.

Yes this 👆🏼

Your DH needs to intervene. And say @MumofHennHals showed me the dress and I don’t think it’s appropriate. Also stating he won’t defend her from people gossiping that she (mil) is either trying to upstage the bride or make a point about wearing black to wedding (like it’s a funeral), or even weirder wearing a wedding dress to her son’s wedding.

she’s going to look absolutely batshit! Your poor mum too being in photos with that!

If she insists on wearing it make sure you get loads without her in, like a family one with just you, dh and your parents siblings so your family have nice ones (and get DH to be to tell her because she can’t wear something suitable she’s only going to be in a handful of wedding pictures.

My mill did something similar, wore a black dress with her cleavage hanging out to a summer Christening in a VERY traditional church. I knew she’d pull a stunt like this though, so prepared with photographer if she wore inappropriate clothes to hide her, so only one family photo with her in it and in the group ones she’s hidden behind distant relatives and can only see a bit of her head.

Such an idiot. Honestly your mil is going to definitely detract attention because everyone is going to be eating popcorn looking at the absolute vampire slapper mil and watching to see if she gets wasted and does something mad.

Yes! My ex-MIL decided to wear a burgundy dress to my wedding because I chose a burgundy wedding dress. One of my friends was really cross, I just laughed - there was no way the guests were going to confuse her for the bride! And it’s just a dress at the end of the day. It was very small in the grand scheme of things. I did take objection to her deliberately introducing herself to people she didn’t know as my mam… I have a lovely mam who was also at the wedding!

Really? I find it quite rude to expect guests to colours directed by the groom and bride.

Ask her whose funeral she is going to in that dress. send her links to dresses you feel are more appropriate. If she turns up in the black dress advise her that she can’t be in main photos. It’s your day so your final choices sod others opinions. I’d be miffed by the choice too.

So did you say what you've said here - you'd love your wedding photos to be bright and sunny and her being in black will really impact the look you were going for? I don't think that's a horrible thing to say and might make her rethink her choice.

Unless of course she knows full well that black in a sea of bright colours will make her stand out and put focus on her. The dress will certainly do that and possibly not in the admiring way she might be thinking.

@Grammarnut too old to wear colours but not too old to wear a dress like that!

A black dress would have been ok it’s the train that makes it’s very odd !

Let her. Everyone will thinks she’s batshit 😂

I didn't ask my ex-DiL what I should wear, but chose a pastel shade dress and jacket. Her mother wore a cream suit. I don't much go for telling my guests what to wear unless we are doing a murder mystery or a fancy dress party (then, of course) and I don't understand the obsession with having colour-coded wedding photos.
So your MiL-to-be wants to wear a black dress with a train. Well, it might have some bearing on how she feels about the wedding, but it's more likely because she knows she looks slimmer in black (the main reason women wear black) or she likes looking dramatic. She asked your opinion. Your opinion should have been along the lines: 'that's lovely...bear in mind it's Spain/somewhere hot/in August, though'. Then she can decide to choose something else if she likes. If not she'll add a bit of drama and many people will think she is widowed or (in Spain) feels that she is too old for colours.
NB At least she asked your opinion. I wouldn't have. Also, are you telling guests what colours to wear? Good thing one of them isn't my late DH - he'd have turned up in something entirely outrageous if told what to wear.

@GoldenPheasant but don’t most weddings have some form of colour palette. I had a coloured wedding dress so waistcoats for the men tied in with the colour of the dress as did flowers. It was autumn so went with autumnal colours. I didn’t tell guests what colour they had to wear.

OP commented on the dress after MIL had sent photo for comments.

OP I'm about to be mother of the groom too. That dress is beyond wild for a wedding. How old is MIL? Does she have a fabulous figure? It's 100% not ok to suggest turning up in that. I'd tell her so - wouldn't hesitate.

My mum wore black to my wedding. She looked sensational and she was comfortable and I couldn’t have cared less about what other people thought or whether it’s the ‘dine thing’! (Or whether my photos are matchy-matchy).

Tell her she won’t be in the photos unless she wears something more appropriate. It’s a summer wedding not the Oscars.

Surely she's pulling your leg? Like when I asked a friend what she was wearing to my wedding and she said a long ivory dress, it was obviously a joke.

Oh lord! I cannot believe anyone would think that is an appropriate mother of the groom dress. I don’t think there is anything you can do to stop her wearing it, but she will make herself look such a plonker! Like one of “those” MILs, who try to make everything about them.

OK on reflection it looks like this is really affecting you. It's time to say I've asked lots of opinions & the majority say its not an appropriate dress as it looks like a black wedding dress or something from the Adams family. You know I love you but I'd be upset if you wore this
It's just too like a black version of my dress. If she respects and loves you as a dil she will be fine.

I hadn't seen the photo at that point - my apologies.
I have subsequently posted.

Unless you're willing to share photos (with her face being blurred out) I cannot believe that happened.

Maybe ask the photographer to try and avoid the woman in the long black wedding dress 😂