AIBU to think our grandchildren will miss out on having grandparents?

@familysquare I doubt that was OP's intention. There's nothing wrong with having pride in upon health, and to delight in the prospect of spending another 30-40 years in your grandchild's life!

I'll be doing everything i can to encourage my children to have their families earlier.if that means DH and I downsizing to free up money to help them buy homes, that's what we'll do.

There are still plenty of people having children before they’re 40 though.

My 7yo has memories of his great great grandmother. Has frequent days out with his great grandparents, and sleepovers with his grandparents who both still work full time.

I don’t think there are a huge majority of children who aren’t trying to have a grandparent experience because of age.

I had my kids reasonably young by todays standard, and the fact that I wanted them to have lots of time with my lovely DM and DMIL was part of the reason why. In turn, if my kids have kids, I'll likely be young enough to be an active participant.

No one in my family has been born with living great grandparents, I think my dad had one grandparent he knew, and I know my mum only had one, and both of those were dead before my parents were in their 20's. My first grandparent died when I was 13, and they'd all been disabled in some way all my life, and 18 my ds only has one living grandparent/ So its nothing new for my family tbh and I'd much rather ds has years of studying, socialising and being free before having a child (if he so chooses) rather than thinking about grandparents

Mum was 36 when she had me, I was 31 when I had my first. When my son was born, he had 3 grandparents (sadly lost FIL the year before) and 5 great grandparents (all 4 of mine were still alive, all over 90 at the time and DH's grandma was just turning 80). I'm due my second early next year, and my second child will have 3 grandparents (my parents and MIL). We lost all the great grandparents in a 4 year period and it was brutal. My son is 4 now and does definitely remember his great grandparents. We have photos up of them and he will tell you who they all are and has nicknames for all of them.

His bond with my parents and MIL is fabulous. He adores them all. They're all approaching 70/ slightly over 70 but all very fit and active. We forget, i think, that the age at which you become 'old' is much later than it used to be. My grandparents were all completely fit until their mid 80's and lived until their mid 90's, I hope my parents will be the same so it's not all lost.

I'm 52 and my mum had me when she was 39. I vaguely remember meeting my maternal grandparents once, on the paternal side they were already dead. I've never known them so don't miss that relationship. I would have liked to have met them, but more out of interest than as familial relations. I'm told I have inherited some of my paternal grandfather's ways, so it would have been nice to see it first hand. Don't feel I missed out, though. 🤷‍♀️

Whoa! This come off slightly arrogant!

But if everyone had children younger then grandparents would still be working full time till 67 and would themselves be potentially responsible for their own aged parents.
It's pointless highlighting one aspect of family life without considering all others. My example above is just one. As pps have pointed out, jobs, financial stability, location etc all play apart. Retirees moving abroad is another factor. I live 10 mins from my dd. Her Dad lives 900 miles away living his 'dream life'. We'll both be grandparents next year but only one of us will be active in the dgc life.

I would further add that my two youngest grandparents died long before the oldest ones, so being younger is no guarantee of still being around. My dad's dad and my mum's mum both died in their sixties.

I would add that I expect to be working until I'm 67, health permitting, so if dd is wanting free childcare, she's going to have to wait until she is at least 35 to get it!

I’m 42, very unexpectedly pregnant with my second and this is something I worry about too OP. Especially because my own Mum is only 60 as she had me very young.

I had my youngest at 33, so chances are if he has children at a similar age I will see his children grow to adulthood but I have this niggling feeling it won’t be the same with my second and it does make me sad.

With that said though- my Dad died at 26 when I was 3, so you just don’t know what’s round the corner! Plus my Mum lives on the other side of the world and we are lucky if we get to see her once a year over Christmas/New Year.

Try not to worry.

I think you're right to an extent, and also those children may well end up in a position of having to help care for ageing parents while taking care of their own small children. Saying that, we are generally living longer healthier lives.
My parents are in their mid sixties and have grandchildren aged 0-6. I feel like this is ideal, I was in my 30s before I started my family and mum was an "older mother" at 36 when she had my younger brother, who at 30 has just had his first baby.
But then they are great grandparents, very active and involved and in good health. I intend to look after them once they're elderly as much as I can, but by that point I imagine my own kids will have left home or at least be much more independent.

There will always he exceptions to the rule, but generally I agree. I have so many amazing memories with my 4 grandparents from when I was very young. Most of them died around the time I had my son, one got to meet him.

My parents had me late 20s, I'm early 30s. My parents are not 60 yet and are very active with my child. They can watch him for a day no problem.

My partners parents had him later. Their parents were older when had them. He didn't meet most of his grandparents as passed before born or when very young. They were approaching 70 when I gave birth, so a decade older than my parents. They love their grandchild just as much. They try to play with him all the same. But there's no denying they find it A LOT harder. They're not as quick, can't do as much, tire more quick. They looked after him for a day and it really really took it out of them.

I'm glad I had my child when I did rather than waiting another decade.

This is a very good point. My children have 3 aunts and uncles who don't have children and 2 that do. Guess which ones they see most of and think are the best? Cool aunts and uncles are the best.

It's a shame if future generations miss out on relationships between grandparents and grandchildren. On the other hand, I would think it a shame if my dd rushed to have children too young/with the wrong partner/ before establishing herself in her career etc, so it's swings and roundabouts. On balance, I would prioritise happy parents who are mature enough and ready for the demands of parenting over and above relationships with grandparents.

I didn't live near any of my grandparents so didn't develop a close bond with them. I do recognise the close bond children can have with their GP and think it is beautiful but at the same time I don't feel hard done by. My parents both died relatively young so the children in my family miss out on having that but they do still have a lovely relationship with GP on the other side. They also have some doting childless aunts and uncles who I think can offer very similar relationships to GP.

I'm an older parent as well as being the youngest child and yes I feel really sad about this. My kids are 2 and 7 and my parents are 79/82. We also live a few hours away. So there's not a close relationship.

Not everyone has a close relationship with their grandparents. I don't know any adults with grandparents who are alive that are daily parts of their lives. Also people can't miss things they don't ever have.
My dad's parents died when he was under 18, and my own dad died at when I was 13. My one grandma I remember was very frail and sick but lovely.
So I would be more sad for kids who's parents are older, therefore they might have to experience parental bereavement younger. Not because they could miss out on grandparents.

I got jealous with friends who had grandparents living nearby. Having them living 70 and 110 miles away in different directions.

This.
It doesn't make that much difference.

My mum didn't have involved grandparents because one side emigrated to Australia under the ten pound Pom scheme and the others moved to Canada.

It's not always age that prevents a grandparental relationship.

Her grandchildren are in New Zealand.

My grandparents were elderly despite me having a younger mum because in the past people did seem older younger, even in her 60's my grandparents couldn't cope with us kids, they were just frail and my mother had to help them a lot. My mother on the other hand was working when my dc were children so no help, well once a year she has them for me. My dc, it remains to be seen but they are thinking about 30 and hoping I can have finished work to help them out!

So many interesting perspectives.

I feel I missed out slightly not having grandparents. But I also think it's great to explore all different routes for community and relationships. As an adult I have a range of friendships across generations and I think some of these people will act similar to grandparents or aunts to any children I have.
Rather than feeling sad they don't have biological grandchildren, retired people can find other ways to have joy in their lives and older people now have more choices than ever. For some it could be building grandparent-like relationships with their neighbours or other people in their community, others might find all the joy they need from their own social groups, hobbies etc.

My parents are dead. They had the first 4 years of my kids. Mum lived 700 miles away. Dad moved abroad when they were born
Never saw either more than a handful of times.
MIL has had dementia for the past 11 years. That relationship is not great, she is not a "peaceful patient" (sweary, racist, violent)
Not all grandparents care. Not all are fit enough to maintain a relationship.

I don't feel we missed out. Plenty of people in our lives.