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AIBU?

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Shite 50th

231 replies

Cowardlybitch · 11/11/2024 11:36

For contact, we're lucky to be in a decent position financially. Not loaded but mortgage paid, decent income, we can enjoy not to worry about what we put in shopping basket. Usually a week abroad and a couple of breaks a year. What do I get for my 50th birthday off my husband? Bearing in mind we have been together for 20 years. 2 pairs of merino wool socks that are too big and in hideous colours. Same brand and colours as purchased at Christmas that I asked him not to buy again. In fact, I said no more socks unless they're Bridgedale ones. But apparently they'll shrink to fit. And two small boxes of chocolates from a shop I walk past 3 times a week to go to work and buy myself when I want them. And yes, the socks do in fact shrink - to a size that don't actually fit - as per the Christmas ones.

From friends I have a crap, self-published vegan book from some random off Facebook (full of beige coloured meals) and a collection of kitchen crap from Morrisons homeware section.

When asked what I want, I said to donate to my favourite charity. But no, apparently, I don't want that. I want a collection of wasteful rubbish to take to the charity shop. I don't think the thought counts when there has been no effort whatsoever. I make a real effort with these people and would never buy them something they had expressly asked me not to. Or rubbish from the supermarket. I live in a tiny house - what the fuck would I want with tacky ceramic crap that serves no useful purpose whatsoever? I'm a keen cook - if wanted a spoon rest, I'd already have one. Why the fuck would anyone want a spoon rest - just wipe your worktop? Why give me an "original" recipe book which contains a recipe for soffritto and meals so visually unappealing they look like cow-pats? The purchaser had clearly not bothered to look at it. Why feckin ask me what I want and then tell me I don't want it? Why the fuck do I bother? The two things that make me most cross in the world is money being wasted and talking to myself. I can't believe I'm still surprised at 50 to be reminded, yet again, how fuckin thoughtless people are and I may as well talk to the neighbour's cat as clearly people don't listen to me.

Now I'm stuck with repeat protestations of "I forgot" and "I don't know what to get you" and the poor, "sad me" face because the cruel, mean woman has finally erupted. I'm so incredibly angry. More angry with myself for thinking this would be any different to any of the other lousy, thoughtless birthdays.

OP posts:
JustinThyme · 11/11/2024 11:55

Happy birthday!

Drop all that crap off at the charity shop on your way to the John Lewis homewares department and buy yourself everything you fancy.

Then have a nice piece of cake in a cafe.

PauliesWalnuts · 11/11/2024 11:52

I'm with you too. I hosted, and cooked, and had to ask my new boyfriend at the time to buy me a birthday cake because my family never bother. They then spent the whole day talking about the family golden child's forthcoming baby and wedding. I know it's exciting, I know it's the first baby for 25 years, but FFS I just wanted one day for me. My boyfriend was horrified by their behaviour.

I also have almost everything I need and requested money to a charity close to my heart. I got Prosecco (ugh), a tigerskin throw (WTF?) and a couple of ornaments (clutter). I suspect all my presents off family were regifted.

However, two friends sent flowers, which I loved.

travailtotravel · 11/11/2024 11:52

Just to say I hear you.

"you don't say much these days, do you?"

  • gets interrupted
  • gets talked over
  • no one cares
  • not listened to
  • gets ignored
  • dismissed when do speak
And why do you think I don't say much to you, Sherlock?
RunningJo · 11/11/2024 11:51

I hear you, I don't care how much anyone spends on me for my birthday, but I do very much care about the thought that has gone into it. People (me included) don't always get gifts right, but as long as there is thought.
To already have suggested what people can get instead of gifts and then end up with random things would annoy & disappoint me a bit too.
I hate getting gifts that contain no thought, would prefer they just got me a card and bought me a glass of wine when we next go out than to end up with something that screams 'this will do'.

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 11/11/2024 11:51

Did you arrange to do anything on your birthday, like a meal at a nice restaurant or something?

I do that every year with DH, our adult DC and a couple of close friends.

It's always a great night, so I don't really end up thinking about the 'hit and miss' gifts people might've bought.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 11/11/2024 11:46

I'm not sure whether lots will agree but I'm with you

Birthdays are important, it's a chance to celebrate you. Your husband should've planned something big for you

I love to get thoughtful gifts and celebrate people so it'd piss me off if that wasn't reciprocated

Happy birthday ❤️