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AIBU?

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To confront boyfriend about lying?

56 replies

possiblyoverreacting · 11/11/2024 10:48

Been with my partner for a year and we’ve just bought our first house together. When we met, the topic of driving came up and he said he did drive but didn’t have a car. I drive and he lived in a city so it was never an issue. We’ve now moved somewhere more rural and I mentioned that he should really just use my car for work as I WFH and don’t need it during the week now. He was always a bit stand offish about the topic and insisted he enjoys getting the bus. I questioned a few times if the reality is actually that he doesn’t have a license after all, but he reassured me he did. I said it wouldn’t be a big deal if he didn’t, but the lying to me would.

I’ve just been to look for his bank card to update one of our direct debits, and found his provisional license in his wallet… I don’t want him to think I was snooping, I wasn’t as I’d actually forgotten about the driving license thing since the last conversation we’d had was when he’d assured me he wasn’t lying. Now I’m annoyed! Should I confront him or just forget about it?!

OP posts:
Seashellssanctuary · 11/11/2024 11:13

Lyannaa · 11/11/2024 10:49

If someone lies about something then what it shows is that they have the potential to lie about other things.

Everybody lies about things , some people just tell lies about more serious things than others.

People are actively encouraged on this forum to lie to people in order not to offend them for example

TwattyMcFuckFace · 11/11/2024 11:11

I mean aside from the fact it's absolutely mental to buy a house with someone you've only been with for a year...

I’ve just been to look for his bank card to update one of our direct debits, and found his provisional license in his wallet… I don’t want him to think I was snooping

You've literally just told us you weren't snooping, and you needed his bank card to update a direct debit.

So why can't you just tell him that? 😳

TTPDTS · 11/11/2024 11:08

He's maintained that lie for a year and you've now bought a house in a rural area?! Bloody hell id be confronting him! Especially if he's been reassuring you he can drive.

Mrsttcno1 · 11/11/2024 11:04

I’d bring it up, I think it’s such an odd thing to lie about though especially in a long term relationship, surely he realised that at some point you’d realise he doesn’t drive so he’d have to admit?

rubyslippers · 11/11/2024 10:49

A provisional licence doesn’t mean he’s passed a test
I would 100% tackle him about this
being a non driver can be tricky in lots of ways especially if you’re rural!

Lyannaa · 11/11/2024 10:49

If someone lies about something then what it shows is that they have the potential to lie about other things.

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