To confront boyfriend about lying?

Everybody lies about things , some people just tell lies about more serious things than others.

People are actively encouraged on this forum to lie to people in order not to offend them for example

Yes but it's a red flag when people lie for no reason.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t get past the bit where you bought a house with someone you’ve only known for a year! I’ve had longer relationships with my dustbin men! That alone is worrying, without delving into why he lied..

Glad you had a conversation about it and it’s all sorted.
I don’t know why people bash non drivers so much, I can drive but hate it, especially as where we live has become so congested etc it’s impossible to move around especially at peak times.
Quite a few of my friends don’t drive and never have, they get themselves to work, holidays, kids to school etc just fine and are probably less stressed.
Him being a non driver isn’t really an issue if he isn’t asking you to transport him around and it’s a shame that he felt he had to lie about it to feel that it would make him more appealing initially.

A house purchase is a bloody massive commitment and he’s entered into it, with a house in a rural area, without disclosing he can’t actually drive which is huge! I’d be spitting chips. But how did you get this far into things without questioning him more or, you know, wondering why you’d never seen him drive??!! I just don’t get it.
What’s his solution? Is there a bus route to work? Is he planning to learn? What about all the tasks and legwork that are now going to fall to you?

Glad its all sorted.
Having seen some of the attitudes about non drivers on Mumsnet and even on this thread ("Do not have children with a non driver, when there is no medical reason.") - i suspect he was a bit embarrassed and hence lied ( i don't recall ever been asked if i could drive early on in dating- so was it a gating question?)
but he was stupid to carry it on- hopefully no other secrets

@CurlewKate he may not of she may not of told him, I really don't know why some people on here have nothing better to do than be nasty and negative.

You BOUGHT a house with a man you’ve been with for ONE YEAR?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes, well it would do.

But I'm sure even you can understand it's quite silly behaviour.

As the OP is only just finding out.

I got engaged after 3 weeks and married 8 months after meeting. Still together 45 years later. A whole year sounds positively cautious to me.

How does he get to and from work at the moment, OP?

Someone once told me that her first boss had a policy, "never ever lie to a client... unless you can make the lie a truth before it becomes a problem."

I'd say that if OP's DP had lived by this advice, fair enough. eg he told a white lie, and then didn't know how to get out of it. Except... it's easy to get out of. He could have quietly sorted himself out and got an actual license at any point over the last year, particularly after they decided to move in together to a more rural location!

Do not become his driver now you know the truth.
Do not have children with a non driver, when there is no medical reason.
You will bitterly regret being the sole driver.
That is a huge lie he told.
I would not be impressed, particularly as you are livibg further out from the city.

Initially he may have been embarrassed that he didn't drive so told a fib, he did have a provisional. Now it's actually important and he's stuck with the lie. Assuming he doesn't actually have a full licence (just kept the provisional as well) it needs to come out so he can get one.

He's probably just embarrassed, I don't think it's a big deal at all. People are so miserable on here they want there to be drama to make themselves feel better about their own lives.

Bought a house together after dating for only a year, he's already been caught lying throughout your relationship about something stupid...

See you soon for your next thread OP!

It means he hasn't passed his test!

but he’s open to lessons again now that we live a bit more rurally

For your sake, I hope that's true. But somewhat to my surprise, this is not the first thread like this I've seen on MN where, it turns out, the DP does NOT, in fact, want to drive, causing significant longer-term issues in the relationship. I hope you aren't going to be back here in 6 months complaining about how he still hasn't started lessons.

I'd also be interested to know how he thought he was goign to continue to hide it from you? What would have happened when it was his turn to do the Sainsburys or Ikea run? Or you announced you were having a drink so it's his turn to drive. Had you added hi mto your insurance already?

So who owns the house, just him or both of you?

Also, the in between bit as you call it, is the most important part surely? That’s the bit where you get to know each other.

It’s this. Told a lie and then has to maintain it.

He was embarrassed about not driving and the reason why, maybe failed his tests - he might think it’s not manly or whatever.

I don't know why people are saying it's insane to buy a house with someone after a year, seems a very reasonable timeframe to me. The lying would bother me though. I'd confront him.

@Copperoliverbear "I would tell him you was looking for the card "

He'll know that already, obviously.

It's a stupid lie. What was his plan? Never drive and hope you forget? Learn to drive secretly?

I'd be concerned that he thinks lying is acceptable and I would struggle to trust him going forward.

Is he a love bomber? It's a bit concerning that you both thought after a handful of months together you should start house hunting. How well do you really know each other?