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Am I being sensitive about my mother's comments about my weight while pregnant?

26 replies

showersandflowers · 11/11/2024 10:27

I recently told my mum I'm pregnant with my second. She's very happy and supportive. But she's also immediately started making comments about my weight. Examples:

After I threw up while visiting she said "it's so funny that you throw up so much and yet you're putting on so much weight!"

She came round one afternoon and one of her first questions was "how's everything, how much weight have you put on?" (I answered that I didn't know because I don't weight myself)

She's a bit of an almond mum, obsessed with diets and fitness. I'm pretty cool mostly but this is getting to me a bit. Yes, I'm gaining. I have no idea how much but I'd guess a few kilos at this point.

Am I being overly sensitive because of pregnancy hormones? I seriously don't know.

If you think it is out of order, can anyone suggest ways of shutting her down without upsetting her? I think she's been very sensitive about her weight her whole life so I think this is just concern manifesting itself in rudeness.

OP posts:
Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 11/11/2024 10:40

Firstly, congratulations! You'll encounter many random and unexpected interactions with well intentioned family and friends through pregnancy and when little one is here so you need to start asserting boundaries now of how you will and will not be spoken to and treated. Next time she brings it up or makes a comment be prepared with a short one liner such as "yes, I've put on weight, there's a whole baby in there!" Said with a laugh and smile. If she starts pushing more just cut her off "oh mum, change the record. I'm not sure if you're deliberately trying to make me feel self-conscious, but that's how these comments always end up so no more, please. Now, cup of tea...?" If she still pursues stand firm and don't be so polite. You have 9 months to start reframing your relationship from daughter-mum to woman-woman. It's hard but easier to deal with it now than when baby is here and hormones involved. Enjoy your pregnancy.