To offer another side to the DH problem (whilst I am in general agreement he is causing more problems for the OP than necessary, again not with being disabled, but his reluctance to accept it and any help), disabilities do impact us all differently.
When I was (finally) diagnosed with mine, I found it incredibly hard to accept, and made life so much harder for myself as a result. It's not an instant process when you gain a disability in adulthood, to accepting this and adopting your new, reduced, way of life.
It's devastating, its unacceptable, you can out-think it, you can just try harder, you CAN do this if only you try that bit harder. Then as the realisation creeps up on you (often very slowly, for me it took years to realise and the process of acceptance), the depression and useless-ness feeling begins to creep in as you realise you are no longer you, and you can not be the 'you', that you are inside the failing body, anymore.
Don't care what anyone says, it's a different process for everyone, some are able to accept it sooner than others, it is very akin to a grieving process. It's not easy and it's not instant.
Rather than OP's OH being a complete cockend to her, I think he's in not in a good way in his journey. So, he IS having a massive impact on her, but it's not all intentional.
Hard for some to get bothered about carpet, phoning insurance, stains on walls, when you're falling all over the place, probably in some pain, and inner turmoil over what is happening to you and the realisation it's not going to get better, and in fact, may only get worse. Doesn't make it OK of course, but, I understand.