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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to limit the duration of the Christmas visit

81 replies

Grannyinnwaiting · 11/11/2024 08:25

DSIL and child are visiting from overseas this Christmas. My elderly FIL and MIL live an hour away. They are coming to us for Christmas- no problem, we've a bigger house, I like to cook and we all get on. My sister will also be coming. I assumed they would come for 3/4 nights which was fine.

Now they want to come for 6 nights - we live rurally so thats a huge amount of shopping, catering and organising and I think I'll be run ragged. None of them really cooks so it'll fall to me. AIBU to ask that they return to the parental home after 4 nights. I don't want to be mean but I do want to enjoy Christmas

OP posts:
Ella31 · 11/11/2024 08:48

Can you have #plans# for the other nights ?

TinkerTiger · 11/11/2024 08:40

Oh god I can't wait to be back in my own home! Boxing Day is usually too late for me, I leave first thing on the 27th if spending it at family's. Just say that doesn't work for you.

Cloouudnine · 11/11/2024 08:40

Yanbu! I have hosted at Christmas and I definitely would want my house back after three days.

You are amazing for hosting at all, don’t feel guilty in the slightest

Mixey · 11/11/2024 08:37

I don't think YABU. Hosting and cooking for them for 4 nights is perfectly adequate.

And give them jobs to do, don't let them sit around relaxing and chatting the whole time while you run round waiting on everyone. Even if they can't cook, they can still peel potatoes, wash up etc. In fact, I would make it clear that while you're happy to do all the cooking, it's everyone else's job to lay the table, clear up and do the dishes. It's only fair!

NeedWineNow · 11/11/2024 08:36

After the first Christmas debacle, when DH’s mum and sister came on Xmas Eve and casually mentioned to DH that they were planning to stay until after the New Year ( they only lived 40 mins from us!) I put my foot down and said we were only hosting for 2/3 days at most. Guests can come on Xmas Eve and leave either on Boxing Day or the morning of the day after. Admittedly that was easier to manage when we were working, as we had the excuse that we had to work between Xmas and New Year, but it’s something we’ve stuck to ever since.

Aliflowers · 11/11/2024 08:36

Nope not at all. I host family every year but with a strict time constraint. Just be clear and say we cant wait to see you but we also plan to spend some time doing some things as a family. So just ask whether they're gping to leave on the 26th or 27th so you can then plan accordingly