DD being petulant over DGP visit (18yo)

@Norzilla why is she not a petulant little madam?

For God's sake, there's so much bloody hysteria on here. The poster who called this teen an arsehole needs to look closer to home.
Yup, she's being stroppy and selfish. It goes with the territory. She probably imagined a super relaxed Christmas at home, and this is going to change that.
I'm sure she'll get over it and act like a good host!
Her initial reaction is a snapshot and not something worthy of a character assassination.

Why doesn’t she want GP over? I sense there must be a backstory here otherwise there would be no reason for the outburst

My DM died at 76 and my DF's dementia now so advanced at 80 that he can't leave his care home. Tell DD to count her blessings - she should be ashamed of herself.

Some posters are absolutely vile!

We have such limited information as OP hadn't followed up but posters here have made DD into a grabby, cruel, spiteful, unkind bitch just because she's upset her DGP are coming.

As has been said, there are many reasons she might feel that way from ones which could be addressed with "your DGP are coming but it doesn't change your plans, so long as you aren't disturbing them coming in late and are here for Christmas dinner. We'll still have some time together too" to "look, I know Grandad says things which aren't acceptable now and make you uncomfortable but he's old and doesn't know better. Just ignore him" to "they used to do what when you were a child? I'm so sorry, let's talk this through more and of course I won't make you stay with them".

But, sure OP, don't find out the reason and support her. Just call her names/kick her out/cut her off/invalidate her opinions or any of the other vile things here. I'm sure you won't then find yourself alone at Christmas when you're 78 and she refuses to talk to you

Good on all of you for pointing out OP clearly meant the oldies will only live another five years - very important she knows 15 years is unrealistic

@Norzilla your daughter IS being rude and a brat. Unless she can articulate like an adult why this is upsetting her she can like it or lump it.

We can only take the OP's post a face value until more is revealed

Its odd that she should have an issue with this for no reason.
But please stop with the "not got long to live" nonsense, its emotional blackmail, MIL tries it all the time but we ignore it.

Is your mother rude to your daughter? If not, tell her that your mum is coming and that's that.

As someone who's just lost their mum I'd give anything to have another Christmas with her.

I’m quite shocked at the vitriolic responses aimed at the DD by some posters.

We have very little info here. She might have specific difficulties going on in her life, she might be a brat, or the DGP might be an aggressive alcoholic/misogynist/racist/homophobe.

Until @Norzilla gives us more info, it’s really impossible to know who, if anyone, is BU

I can't believe how this thread is irritating the hell out of me. If she was my 18 year old 'child' I'd be telling her to piss off somewhere else. I'd rather spend the time with my parent rather than entitled brat. When will you set boundaries? I bet if GP offered to fund something she'd be all sweetness and light.

I would be telling her to sod off and make her own Christmas arrangements elsewhere.

I think jumping to calling her a brat is ott - there must be a reason why she’s reacted like this. Most people like or even adore their grandparents - I would and did prefer spending time with them more than my own parents. In fact, I didn’t know it at the time but 18 was the last Xmas I spent with them. By the following one, they’d both died (sorry to be depressing!). For her to not want to spend this one day a year with them sounds fairly significant at her age.

From childhood we always had at least a couple of family members around for Christmas, my DM didn't want them to be alone on Christmas day. Sometimes you need to put other people first, a lesson your DD needs to learn

What reasons did she give you for not wanting them to stay?

Yep… I’m 52 and I will be lucky to make Christmas with my kids.

She’s being unreasonable. Tell her they’re coming for Xmas end of discussion. Also 15 years as other posters have said, is an extremely generous estimation.

It seems very strange to me that a normal 18year old wouldn’t understand your desire to ensure your elderly parents are included at Christmas time.

I would be so shocked at her reaction that I would be trying to get to the reason for it.
It would really hurt me to have to conclude that my DD was simply a brat and had nothing but selfish reasons for her strong reaction against them.

But in that event, I would suggest she might have somewhere better to spend her Christmas.
If she decided she would be staying, she would be given a clear picture of my expectations about her attitude and conduct towards her grandparents, not just during their stay but from now on in.

Assuming there is no significant back story here your DD sounds very selfish and entitled. She appears to lack any empathy which is worrying. Is this out of character? I would be concerned for what is going on inside her head.

I know quite a few people in their 90s. A couple who got to 100.

So yes, quite feasible.

Come on people, teach your children that they will not be young forever - they too will grow old!

Sorry, but I’d feel thoroughly ashamed of her. Unless there’s some genuine backstory, e.g. abuse, I don’t know why people are trying to make excuses.
My teen dds never complained about their Grandpa even when he had dementia and would e.g. come down to the sitting room after a bath and stand there starkers, drying himself!

Can't believe an 18yo can have this attitude. I'd sacrifice a limb to have my grandparents/ great grandparents with me for Christmas.
Really sad actually.

I think there must be something wrong with your daughter. Seriously - you need to look into this so she can get the help she needs.

WHY is she being like this? What's her reason? And at 18 as well, she's not a stroppy child - it seems very odd

When I was a child I loved having my grandparents over for Christmas, and even if I'd not have wanted them there, I would never have stropped or tantrummed, at any age, particularly not as a young adult. Partly because that would have been incredibly rude to both them and my parents, but also because I wouldn't have had any real reason for it. I feel there must be more to the story than this.