DD being petulant over DGP visit (18yo)

That's something she has to get over, it that's even a thing. I'm all for women-only spaces - shared changing rooms, public toilets with cubicles - but you don't get to wipe out the opposite sex from the world.

There's no mention of a partner...

If DD is used to a household of just her and OP then the idea of a male in the house might make her feel intimidated. Concerned he might accidentally walk in, she might accidentally walk in, he might pee on the seat etc

Exactly they won’t be in there at the same time @Norzilla

What? They won't be in there at the same time will they? Bathrooms in homes are always unisex, but only one person goes in at a time. There should also be a lock of course.

Sadly, this is true :( my parents are 78 as well and this makes me really sad.

In answer to the actual post (sorry haven't read all the replies) why do you need to have her permission? Why does it affect her so much? I can remember having family stay for christmas at that age, and it made no difference to me or my social plans. Sure I saw them christmas day, christmas lunch, maybe a little on boxing day....but their stay had no bearing on me. Is this what your DD is worried about?

Equally I really wouldn't (and don't) care what opinions my grown up children have on what I do or the decisions I make. I have one adult child living at home still, I wouldnt care at all on his opinion of grandma staying for christmas (if we had one 😢). As long as he wasn't rude to me or the grandparents on the stay, then he can do his own merry little thing, it has no bearing on us. I wouldnt even engage in the opinion tbh. It is what is, you've asked the grandparents to stay, end of. It's your house.

To be fair dgp who see their dgc a lot when they’re young, love and spoil them, never lose their charm.

This is why I'm making the most of every minute spent with my grandchildren while they're small and think visiting grandma is super fun and exciting!

Soon enough they'll discover phones and I'm just be an irritating obligation 😭

Eh you're the one making it an argument for no reason

Eh, you are speculating over my quote, which wasn't helpful
It feels very much like you're having a go at me for other posters sentiments
But I've run out of steam for this argument....

It's a perfectly valid response to what you said

Your comment was like it was trying to defend those who were saying about the DD being horrible

I replied saying we didn't know either was which is why speculation isn't helpful

I didn't have a go at you.

Then save your indignation for those that have used the language you object to,
me saying
"There is also no evidence of the daughter being lovely"
does not equate to you saying
" We don't know either way
Which is why painting DD as some vile bitch who will grab the money off DGP but can't tolerate their company because she's an ungrateful brat who should be thrown into the street and humiliated is hugely unhelpful..."

You did, however, say we didn't know what she was like and that was what I replied to.

The OP at face value gives very little information to make any decisions on

Then save your wrath for them
My point of view is that she needs educated, taking the OP at face value and assuming there are no negative factors at play

I didn't say you had. But many posters here have.

Of course they know it, but they don't have the full ability to conceptualise what being elderly is and how it feels to age.

Maybe because she has suffered abuse at their hands and doesn't know how to properly express her fear of them being under her roof?

Or they are racist/homophonic/transphobic/misogynistic and it doesn't align with her values (or her personal self) and she can't stand the idea of having to listen to their hate when she wants to celebrate?

Or she wasn't "outraged" and it's an exaggeration on OP'S behalf of her understanding of her DD being upset her plans with friends might have to change and she was really just a bit upset which escalated because instead of showing a little empathy herself, OP called her names and was aggressive with her and left her feeling like she didn't matter?

I never painted her as any such thing!

We don't know either way

Which is why painting DD as some vile bitch who will grab the money off DGP but can't tolerate their company because she's an ungrateful brat who should be thrown into the street and humiliated is hugely unhelpful...

Have just re-read the OP
She is "outraged" at her Grandparent being invited for Christmas - really, this is bad, how can she be so lacking in empathy?

We just don't know till the OP updates.

Don’t lots of families share bathrooms?

Sharing a bathroom? Unless there’s no lock on the door I can’t think why this would be such a source of discomfort? There’s no threat to her privacy.

OP was careful to obscure the grandparent's sex.

So maybe this is about a very private, shy teenager sharing a bathroom with a 78 year old chap, and having feelings about this.

Only OP can elaborate.

@MeganM3

for goodness sake, they are are her grandparents, not some random ‘house guests’