DD being petulant over DGP visit (18yo)

Family Christmases on TV are often really awful. Do you just watch Mary Poppins?

It does come across as a little bit like you are centring you, your parents and your brother and ignoring how everyone feels and annoyed they won’t just go along with it. It seems not everyone wants to spend this time with your family, perhaps due to the difficulties in your relationship.
This, and wondering if this selfish centering behaviour is learned from the GPs?
I'm just still thinking is sad but probably a crucial point of the issue is all the horrible and vicious names some horrible posters have called the dd and unless I've missed it @Norzilla hasn't defended her daughter.

Sounds like your DD rightly anticipates a tense Christmas with people she hardly knows. I personally think bridges should be built the other 364 days of the year, Christmas can be an end goal when both parties have put the work in for a while.
Perhaps an overreaction, but 18yos aren't always the most.rational beings.

There might be more to this OP.
Please don't discount her feelings.
Ask her why she's so upset.

Perhaps spend Christmas day at home, keeping it super simple effort wise, leaving Boxing day and going to visit and stay with your brother and parents for a few days.

So I am guessing while your parents are there, there’s going to be quite a bit of tension? While DM is not supportive of you and that impacts you, it’s likely there’s an impact on everyone else as well.

I appreciate you wanting to build to bridges with your parents, but that doesn’t mean that everyone else will be looking forward to them being there. Or the resulting issues it will create.

But also, now you have made the decision you are all going to your brothers and not happy because everyone else isn’t on board either.

It does come across as a little bit like you are centring you, your parents and your brother and ignoring how everyone feels and annoyed they won’t just go along with it. It seems not everyone wants to spend this time with your family, perhaps due to the difficulties in your relationship.

Your dh and kids must have a reason they don’t want to go to your brothers. I am guessing your dd has said why she isn’t happy about your parents coming. Even if you don’t agree with them, they will have said it. Even if it’s that last years Christmas was far better and enjoyable without them last year. But you aren’t really saying. Surely your DH gets input on Christmas plans?

go by yourself & leave the selfish brats to it.

It usually stands for twins.

OP, your DH should get a equal say in were Christmas is spent. If you do all decide to go, your DD is old enough to stay at home.

Go on your own to your brother's and leave your DH to sort Christmas for the kids. Make the most of being with your parents while you can. I think if you don't get another chance to have Christmas with your dad, you may come to resent your DH and daughter for being difficult when you really could have done with their support and understanding.

What or who is a DTS?

There are too many initials in that last post to completely follow

But I'd say just go on your own.

Thanks for that! I'm 78 and I damned well hope my family aren't thinking this could be my last Christmas!!

This was my first thought.

I would try to understand where this is coming from.

Well, that's what my abusive father (thanks goodness he's been gone for 16 years) used to tell me. I'm 45 now, and don't remember fucking choosing to be "under his roof".
Obviously, I wouldn't go on the streets because of that pig, so I waited it out (till 22) and have a really good life now.
But it was more than tough and unnecessary.

Is grandparent independent - does daughter think she'll be running around grandparent etc

This.
Is their some huge explanation for this?
If not, what a madam.

OP needs to come back and update us about the reasoning.

Poor DD might be being rather unfairly painted here

If she is 18 then tell her that she is free to leave. I bet she doesn't even pay you any rent?

Your DD sounds so unbelievably spoilt and selfish. I have a DD of the same age and would be so upset if she were to have the same attitude as your DD as it’s so wrong. Just having to share a bathroom isn’t really much of an inconvenience.

Despite what many may say, 78 is pretty old already and if they are still alive in 5 years, that would be great. Many things can happen then (I work in a medical field). Another 15 years would be wonderful if they make it, but sounds a bit too optimistic to me.

Excuse me, I'm nearly 78 and I'll take 15 thank you.

Tell her if she has an issue then find somewhere else to spend Christmas but right now she's under your roof and doesn't make the decisions.

Your daughter is a selfish madam. Tell her to get over herself, it's your house and your decision. Perhaps point out DGP may not be enamoured at the idea of sharing space with her either.