Met friend at university, over 20 years ago. We had both moved to a new city to study, having lived about 15 miles away from one another pre uni however had never met.
After uni, I moved again to another part of the country (not home) whilst she stayed in the city we both attended uni. Since then, we managed to see each other a couple of times a year however when covid hit, things have really dried up.
I’ve messaged her a number of times, however invariably I either got no reply or “sorry I thought I replied to this!” But with no real interest in meeting up. As upsetting as I found this, I have accepted that we’re probably on different pages now, after all she has a family of her own now, whereas I do not.
I have tried to keep things bright and breezy when I’ve heard from her. However things have appeared to have changed, she turned 40 this summer and I got added to a “group chat” where I was expected to pay an absolute fortune to go glamping with her and a group of her pals. I have also been added to “group chats” for her hen party and wedding, which are happening overseas. She completely forgot my 40th and has only remembered my birthday once in at least 10 years.
Aside from the group chats she has added me to, I haven’t actually heard from her directly since last year until today. Where I got a glib message she was sorry about forgetting my birthday, she is a terrible friend and did I want to catch up next weekend.
I’m really tempted to reply “you’ve remembered my birthday once in the last 10 years, you’re right, you are a terrible friend and appear only to remember I exist when you want people to spend money celebrating you!”. Whilst all of that feels true, would I be unreasonable to say this or is this a little too honest? Also, not remotely interested if this is outing!