Anybody had an older parent when growing up?

Start small, a couple of veg and fruit a day if that's all you can manage. 10 minute walks a day increasing to 30 minutes. Everyone starts somewhere.

Yes my mum was 40 and my Dad 45 and I have to honest, I hated them for it. I was teased at school when everyone discovered they weren’t my grandparents. I was bored shitless as a child as they were already knackered and playing with me was understandably harder than it would be for a younger parent. I have an older sibling who I played with as a small child but once he became a teen he was always out.
Sadly it also meant that I lost one parent when I was much younger than average and now I’m an adult with a disability & a younger-than-average widow with a child of my own - ie: in need of support, all I have is my now very elderly remaining parent and older sibling who is uninterested as the age gap meant we’re not close at all. So I’m struggling every day with very little support as I’ve no family left (All my cousins/aunties/uncles etc are long gone) all because my parents made that selfish decision to have another child when they were, in my personal opinion, too bloody old to. I’m paying the price now*.

Ok some may say that I’m not entitled to support as an adult and that I’m being selfish to expect it as an adult etc etc. But the fact is, if my parents had had me at 30 & 35 instead of 40 & 45, then they almost certainly would’ve provided support without me even needing to ask (fyi by support I’m not* referring to childcare! Even emotional support would be something).
However I’m now struggling every day and regularly feel robbed of my deceased parent.

my mum was 39 when I was born and my dad 49. Dad died when I was 14 and mum when I was 23- my own kids never knew their grandparents (their other set of grandparents live abroad and they have only met them once). After mum died things kind of fell apart with the extended family- my siblings, nieces and nephews and we haven’t properly seen them in years, so we only have each other.

Well, I was 42 when I had my daughter. No-one has ever said anything to her about her "old mum" . I don't think things are like they used to be when I was young. I was born in 1966 and definitely remember seeing people who were my age now, but just seemed a lot older. Even photos of my nan and grandad at my age seem to look so old. I don't know if it was the clothes and hairstyles or they just had harder lives.

My Mom was 40 and my dad 38. I have also a younger sibling. Never noticed it growing up and my mom always says we kept her young. Never knew my grandparents since 3 of four died before I was born and the fourth when I was 4. Just thought that was normal-though now I wish I had know them. Honestly I think about it more now with my own young kids. But life is unpredictable and has its own joys and sorrows no matter the age. I do wish we had done more camping while I was a child but my parents probably preferred real mattresses!

Parents had me in their 40's. I'm in my late 30's and they're still with us and living independently. Hasn't negatively impacted my life at all.

My DF was 48 when I was born. He passed away earlier this year - just before I turned 40. I will be honest and say as a child I worried about him dying a lot. Teachers etc used to think he was my DGF. As luck would have it, he got to see me married and with kids etc. I miss him and wish I could have had more time with him.

Having older parents didn't make the slightest bit of difference to me.

Times have changed massively over the last few decades. Having a baby at 42 is not like it was in the 80s or 90s. My parents had me a bit older. I’m 44 now and they’re both alive and kicking.

You’ll be fine OP. Congrats.

What's your lifestyle like? I think that's more relevant than age these days. Back in the 70s it was more normal for parents to smoke and drink quite a lot. A smoking, drinking 42 year old is probably a lot 'older' in their body than a fit and healthy 62 year old.

My mum was 42 when she had me. She had my three siblings in her 20s. I was an accident, different era back then, she was astonished when she was confused by some symptoms and her GP suggested she could be pregnant!

I’m now 42 with a six year old. Sadly we lost my dad (aged 80 to cancer last year). My mum is now 84, lives alone. She’s a bit age defying, presents as 70, still volunteers at the local hospital. Looks after DD for me for the day no problem, they’re both addicted to Costa. She’s DD’s favourite person in the world, all her grandchildren adore her as she’s loud and very funny.

I never noticed it! My grandmother had her last child at 45 so wasn’t uncommon. Sadly 5 of my friends have either lost both or one of their parents in their late 30s - none due to age.

Life is too short to worry about what mig he happen, just focus on giving your child the best you can.

Times have changed, so experiences won't be the same. When I was growing up I felt my parents were 'older parents' compared to my friends' and they were 29 and 30!
But I was 36 and 39 when I had mine and there were several other similarly aged (including older) mums in the NCT group and baby classes so I definitely didn't feel the odd one out.

My dad was born in the late 1930s, my mum early 1940s so ww2 era. They were 40 and 45 when I was born in the early 1980s. I'm around your age now , OP.

They seemed much older than the other parents, and so different to. It was a different time and era to the those born in the 1950s and it showed.

Most new mothers now are what society considers to be millennial, and we are considered to be ' young ' . They are all classed as the same cohort. I wouldn't worry so much about that.

My parents were healthy and fit until their 70s .

I went to school with a girl who's dad was 72, we were 12 at the time and that seemed ancient! Her mum was about 25 to 30 years younger than her dad. I bumped into my friend when we was in our mid 20's and was surprised to hear that she had sadly lost her mum, but her much older dad was still very much alive.

My mum was 44 when she had her last child - she's now 70 with a 25, 27, 29 and 39 year old! I never thought of her as an 'older' mum and because she was more settled, it means that in my 20's, she's retired and more available. I'm about to have my first baby and it's great that she can be around! Whilst she may not be as fit & mobile as other mums, age is just a number and doesn't guarantee anything. My mother in law is 56 and has a whole host of mobility issues, so I would argue my 70 year old mum is far more hands on and capable! My dad is also an older parent at 63 with a 29 year old (his eldest) and the youngest being 8 (with some others in between!). I'm not sure of the perspective of my younger siblings, but for me, it means that my dad is also retired and great to have another parent around for their first grandchild!

Basically, moral of the story - I wouldn't worry! Age is just a number and I think as long as you're young at mind & heart, the rest will follow!

I come from a long line of people who had kids at 40+ and while it means I never met my grandparents, my parents have got to know my DC well (not much childcare though as they live abroad!) and it never really bothered me as a child. Plenty of parents at my DC school were 40ish when they had their kids and they all just blend in with everyone else, I had mine around 30 but wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a pregnant 42yo tbh. Congrats on your pregnancy 💐

My mum was 44 when she had me and my dad would have been 45. My mum died of cancer when I was 12 but my dad died when I was 38.

My parents were old fashioned and stuck out when I was at school.

I ended up having my only DC when I was 40. Because of my own experiences, I work hard to be healthy and stay youthful in my outlook and attitudes. I’ll never be the “cool mum” but at 51 I have been told I don’t look (or act!) my age.

I think people don’t age like they did 40 years ago. We are younger for longer, IYSWIM.

42 is not like 42 back in the 70s when I was born so I think as long as you are healthy, having a newborn at 42 should be fine.

Ps my dad died aged 45 when I was 18.

Mums still going strong, travelling around Europe in her camper van!

You just never know.

Well if it makes you feel any better, my husband was born when his parents were 32 and 33, he was still orphaned (both cancer) by aged 19, 20 years ago.

I do agree that a.40 year old's life experience in 1970 is very different to a 40 year old today's which could have led to a larger "generation gap". Plus, now the average -mean - age for a woman to have a first baby is over 30, there are so many 40ish parents of babies around.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, what a joy 💖

I had my first at 21, village school - I was very much the youngest and only single parent. A witch!!

2nd at 33, dad was 43... We're separated but still coparents. Going strong pushing 50 and 60!
I was the oldest Mum at school then. I'd learned not to give a shit!

Although at 35 walking DD to shops, some old lady said "us Nanas do all the work eh?" Eh?!!! 🤣

I'm a grandma now via eldest, luckily I have a good relationship with gds Mum. My health isn't brilliant at 49, but definitely 7 years ago I was at my peak. I've had a few issues thrown at me health wise, but I'm still running round the park with DGD... Blummin eck, she's like a rocket! And off...!!!

Congratulations!! It'll certainly keep you young. X

My parents were early 40s when I was born. They had both died by the time I was 25. They were great, active parents when they were alive but I really wish they’d been a decade younger when they’d had me (I know it doesn’t work that way, but…)