My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

Hi, Batman here. My slaves are so lazy! I coaxed Robin inside and, to be
fair, he played the game and flew about the house keeping the slaves
moving. The slaves managed to get Robin into the kitchen, opened the
windows and outside door, but then shut the inside kitchen door - so I was reduced to
being a spectator! Robin then hid - which was great cos the slaves
thought he had flown out and opened the inside door again. I would have
found Robin, but when the slaves realised the game was on again they
shut me behind the door again! Robin eventually flew out of a window. I
tried to "speak" to Robin outside, afterwards ... just to see what we
could do again, of course. Anyway the slaves were too busy then tidying
up an old mouse I had left behind the sofa ... I told you they were lazy.

I bet all the tummy rubs I want & premium treats! I don't need it's!!

👏👏👏bravo! Show them their place!

👏

I think vole in a bowl looks amazing well done you.
must say I’m getting lots of tips on this thread.
Good day here, had to make a point though, you know, remind slave who’s in charge around here. I took me eyes off the furball as they say, and main slave got an unusual win in - was watching the little birdies on the table outside from my vantage point of my conservatory window, and she had the bare faced cheek to grab my amazon box and put it in the recycling wheelie fing. Fuming I was. So I buggered off out. In the flipping cold. Hid up and didn’t come in for dinner. Starving hungry, I was, but you’ll be proud of me mates. I stuck it out, ignored my rumbling belly and her stoopid calls till it got dark. Then came the purrthetic calling me in the garden routine. Then deputy slave joined in with her. Then hours later when it was proper dark she started shaking the dreamies bag and calling me again. Waited till they went to bed, and banged through my little door. She came downstairs and guess what, after the tedious cuddles, and silly voices, she got a tin of slaves chewna from the cupboard and I got my supper. Yumsville. Chewna in spring water. My favourite. Now sleeping off my supper on my pillow which I let her share. Deputy slave just grunted when she told him I was home and went back to snoring, ungrateful sod.

I’m not eating Sheba tomorrow I’ve decided, my sisters and bro can have it. There’s half a tin of Chewna wiv my name on it in the fridge.

Chairman Meow.

@Swizzel loving it!

Had a good one this morning. Went to the backdoor, she opened it, I sat down. Turned and went to the front door, she opened it, I sat down again. Did this about five times - it was such fun! She said "I'm getting you a catflap". Some humans are very unsporting.

How very ungrateful of her.

I find they're all like that, no matter how well chosen the gift, how hard it was to catch, how dead or alive...

I don't know why I bother really.

Respect I say. That’s pure class.

This is my latest creation - I call it 'Vole in a Bowl.' My human was eating porridge for breakfast and I thought it needed a little something extra. She abandoned the bowl, so I did her a favour and finished the porridge whilst it was still warm. Apologies for the slightly blurry photo, she couldn't even get me properly in focus (she also said I'm not allowed on the table ever again, pfft - as if she'll ever be able to enforce that!)

I had a most satisfactory game of knobheads with her indoors today. Do i want to go out, do I want to come in? I'm glad they don't have a cat flap as I enjoy this so much.

Last time I broke the cat flap completely in my efforts to catch those pesky birds mice bats and frogs (I haven’t graduated to rabbits and squirrels yet as I’m not fully grown)
This time my owners are not taking any chances

My keepers have blocked the cat flap completely so I have no chance of hunting tonight!
In truth it may mean I’m due a visit to see my GP - hope it’s nothing painful - but I will howl all the way there just in case

Should have said “To stroke me….”

I have developed a new strategy for the humans, called “bite the hand that doesn’t feed me”!

For instance, me and my loopy sister get treats Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays when they talk to the grown up kitten on the laptop - so she can see us! Quite rightly, she still loves us (although it’s incomprehensible in the case of dimwit sister)!

Saturday night, the giant human man sat on the settee, eating his treats in the crinkly plastic. I tried the sad, sorrowful eyes on him, but no, he just carried on stuffing his mouth! I got more and more frustrated, until I was glaring at him! He put his hand to stroke him, so I bit his hand, something I never do normally!

This worked as the woman felt sorry for me, and got our treats out!

@AutumnLeaves24 you are coming down with something or you hace a concussion from running into a door.... there is no other explanation for GOOD behaviour!

What's more, a dog trying to tell us how to cat!

The very nerve.

If you can't spew up furballs then you aren't a proper cat!!

A dog!
Hissssssssss!🙀

Just behave yourself!! You get fed, you don't need grubby fatty treats !

order your kibble supper & leave the birdies alone!

Dogs that identify as cats are still dogs

begone with you until you can safely vomit for amusement

😂😂

I think they're actually - wait for it - a DOG! How dare they post here, it's supposed to be a Safe Space for cats.

Yeah, half dead ones are good gor a bit of evening drama in the house.
But putting it inside their handbag for my humans to find when they are out hunting to provide my beloved human provided meals and toys... I am not sure. I think I rather do not go there.
@MigraineHangover . Which kind of cat are you? Pheasants and deer!? Do you live in Longleat by any chances?

I find the half dead one to be most effective.