To tell my manager I’m unhappy?

frothing at the mouth with excitement.

heavens 😆

I don’t know this manager, but my heart goes out to her!

I will hide thread to avoid the temptation of crawling back with my mouth frothing!

I can understand your frustration. Unfortunately, there is nearly always boring (or at least boring-but-important) stuff to do in any role - but I get your desire to do less boring stuff and more of the glossy stuff.

I’m not sure if you’ve mentioned whether you and your colleague have the same job title / job description and roughly the same amount of experience / seniority? If they are more senior or experienced, maybe that would help at least partly explain why things are the way they are?

I really hope this meeting with your manager helps give you some clarity, regarding whether you are likely to get the opportunities you are hoping for in your current place of work, or whether a fresh start somewhere else is for the best.

Are you neurodiverse @onelasttryy ? Do you think she might be discriminating against you in favour of the other person on the team. People with ND very often get dismissed (silently, unconscious bias) as not being capable and they end up in your situation, not on a truly level playing field.

if you do have any form of ND, it will be very worthwhile bringing it up at the same time in the meeting, so that it gives your manager the complete picture of you as a person.

what a drama llama you are op

i said be professional and address what she said

you plan to

so nothing unreasonable to request a meeting with your manager

I can relate a bit as I'm bored to tears in my role as there's no work for me to do. Any offered to support other team members politely declined. There was a time I'd have done what you're doing and raised it with my manager but now I've learned and realised it doesn't get you anywhere long term - best to keep smiling outwardly whilst job hunting with a vengeance.

That sounds tough OP.

How long have you worked there?

What is keeping you in a job that you have become so unhappy in?

If you are so bored you could cry, it is affecting your mental health and you are watching your manager giving development opportunities to someone else and not to you, I think I would be starting to ask some questions of myself, as well as my manager, I think?

Someone I know well managed a long term employee who should have moved on from their job - but didn’t. They were bored of their role (which they were not doing a great job of) - and they were highly resistant to changing their ways of working. They wanted more opportunity and responsibility, but this would not have been good for the organisation.

Can you think of any reasons (even if you disagree with them) why your manager is not giving you the opportunities you are hoping for?

Do you get on well with other members of your team? Are you consistently doing a really good job at work?

It seems important to have this conversation with your manager at this point, so at least you can be sure they know how you feel and what you think - and see if there is a way forward where your hopes and the needs of the organisation align.

Realistically, if (for whatever reasons good or bad) they don’t see you as a good candidate for development / promotion within your organisation, you’d probably be better off starting to look for another opportunity elsewhere.

Being bored and miserable at work is tough on you - but possibly also quite tough on the team and organisation you work for.

A new role and a new manager may be just what you need to thrive - and might also give your current organisation the opportunity to have someone in their team who would be happier in the role.

I think now is the time to bring it up. How long have you been there?

I would go with some ideas about how you could be developed (shadowing, extra responsibilities etc) and time frames. And make sure it is documented. Are there any extra qualifications you could work towards etc?

Have you other responsibilities in mind OP that you could take on and do well/learn to do well?

Often if someone's getting prioritised for development it's because they're seen as an asset. Can you raise in your meeting where you think you're not being used to your full potential and could add much more value?

If your manager really said you've been given all the boring work, they're not very bright or professional by the way. Def make a note of the date and exact conversation and context.

You're being unnecessarily horrible.

I don’t think this is a good idea. It’ll be used against you at some time or other. Best to just start looking for a new job in the meantime, and be intentional about it.

There have been some other comments with suggestions about going in from an angle of a development focus only, I would suggest doing that if you do go ahead with the meeting, but leave the emotions and the other things you mentioned out of it. It won’t go in your favour.

Why haven't you been more proactive before. Get it all documented. Get it recorded that she said you get all the boring bits. Get it documented what tasks you do want. Be more ruthless. Play the game.

how utterly bizarre

i think you rather interpreted my post. I didn’t “admit” to being passive aggressive

i will leave you to it op

it’s being so bored I cry,

I extrapolate that if you cried out of boredom, you may cry when discussing how bored you are.

But perhaps not

"I have mastered all of the current aspects of my job and I am looking for a great challenge. I would like to be put on a development plan to help me further my career etc"

Leave your colleagues name of out if.

If she says no, then ask what you need to do in order to advance etc.

because

your manager admitted that you have been getting all the boring work

rather than ask for a meeting to discuss that, you’re asking mumsnet if ok to go to her crying about how bored you are

be professional. she has admitted something that you would like to discuss further

the fact you jump to an accusation of me being “passive aggressive” is telling

so… discuss that 😕