DS made racist comment at school

Hopefully, as member of staff on chat group it will have been reported to the school already.

Which is fine to do; that's your choice. But it's also fine to be a part of these things IF used appropriately and ready to do the responsible thing if necessary.

Even the Head of a local prep school is part of a parent whatsapp group with the other parents in her year group; her child is in the year group.

Have you ever read 'This is our house' by Michael Rosen? A great, simple picture book about a boy saying other children can't play for a variety of reasons: they have glasses, too small etc etc. That could be a good way into a calm discussion about how his behaviour (if he said it) was not ok. He's 7 and autistic. I think everyone needs to calm down, including you. Yes it's horrible for the girl on the receiving end, but parents should not be attributing adult motives to this.

I guess I have always been ultra careful. There was a time where I was a parent, member of staff and a governor...
I will report anything I see on public forums to the school and avoid unofficial school related WhatsApp/ social media like the plague!

If any adult in school had been aware of your ds saying this, you would definitely have heard about it.As you haven t , you can only conclude it is childish hearsay.(Children lie to their parents a lot! If i had a £ for every time a parent came in with a cock and bull story their kid had told them , i would be vey happy!)
I would message the parent and ask them to retract the message on the board immediately or she will be hearing from your solicitor.

Yeh I don't actually agree with @DizzyDandilion - if the member of staff is a parent, it would also be unfair to exclude her from a parent group.

That said, the moment anything inappropriate is said, the member has a responsibility to report it, not ignore it (or worse still, contribute to it).

Agreed.

Very well said. As an autistic mother, with an autistic child, I really respect your comments here.

Unless an official group of some sort I would not be part of that sort of WhatsApp group if I was that TA. I do work in a school in a similar role. If part of group (which I think unwise) no comment and report to SLT. Then, if sensible, should remove self from the group.

Absolutely! It is literally a disability, by law, and I have no idea why anyone would argue against that. I'll say it again. Autism is a disability.

People can choose to identify how they want however autism is a disability by definition and is recognised as such in law with the protection that it brings.

It's not reductive. It's a statement of fact.

Could it be that your DS has actually spent some time with someone who is racist OP? Perhaps heard another kid in the playground say something similar, because they've perhaps heard a parent say it? Maybe it's worth asking him where he's heard someone say something like this? Just a thought. I hope that you're able to put this matter to bed without any further nastiness from anyone toward your son, as he clearly doesn't understand what he's done.

Yes and I think some posters should do the same with regards to disability.

What he has said is obviously offensive and of course the girl would have been upset and had every right to raise it to be addressed.

However, no 7 year old child is racist. If they have discriminatory world views it’s because of their home life. This is not the case here.

OP, you have done nothing wrong. You have let your son know the issue with what he said, educated him and provided consequences. Him apologising and explaining that he did not mean any offence but recognising that he did anyway, is definitely what needs to happen, with the support of the teachers.

The WhatsApp group is outrageous behaviour. It would be one thing if someone simply shared what their child had said and asked if anyone else had the same, should they tell the school etc, but shaming a 7 year old is so unnecessary.

The other parents sound awful. If I was you I would be having serious words with my son, if I was the girls mum I would be very upset and would be talking to you and the school. However, I could not be involved in discussing a 7 year old in a group chat, that is disgusting behaviour. Even 7 year olds who don't have needs are still learning what is and isn't appropriate. It 100% needs to be dealt with but there should be no shaming of a 7 year old.

Maray1967
The sen assistant is likely a parent and is on the group in that capacity. It would be v inappropriate to engage in an argument with parents in their work capacity. The only appropriate thing to do would be to not comment but report what has happened to the SLT.

I would report the SEN support worker/ TA to the school. She absolutely should not be involved in this WhatsApp group let alone the discussion. Very unprofessional.

What language?

That's easy for you to say as an adult. Even a neurotypical 7 year old child doesn't have the same awareness and at the very least deserves the benefit of the doubt for the situation to be investigated by the school. Often when these things are investigated there is much more detail and context to the story.

From OP's comments her daughter and others said 'I don't like playing with people with brown skin' but her son has explained he said 'why so do you have brown skin? I don't like brown skin.' the two comments are very different and the second one does have context with the fact he doesn't like his own skin tanning. There is an explanation for hi comment beyond racism. Her son still needs a conversation about these comments and is a lesson to learn from by it does not merit the child being gossiped about by a group of adults.

I actually dealt with a very similar situation a couple of years back when a child.went home and told their parent another child had used the 'n word' and went straight to the class whatsapp laying into this child. Kids came in the next day and started making comments to the kids about him being racist, a term he had no understanding of, and he was obviously upset no one was playing with him. Of course none of the incident was actually raised directly with the school until I asked the childs mum at the end of the day and he told me what kids had been saying. When I spoke to the other kids the next day the revealed x had said n word, spoke to parent of the affected kids with child. Turns out the word was negro and the kid that said it was Spanish and he used it to ask for a black crayon.

But the damage had already been done. The poor kid and his family were treated poorly by the class for the rest of the year. That's why incidents like this have no place on social media, as they say there's you version, my version and the truth.

I'm part of the "they" you refer to here. Autism is a disability. It isn't a disorder, either. Once again, intersectionality.

Please. Do better, like you've been so fond of saying throughout this thread.

He made a mistake and upset somebody, its that simple. All kids make mistakes, thats how they learn. This needs education not punishment.

I would expect an employee at the school to challenge the comments not stay silent.

But - it’s always possible they haven’t seen them.