DS made racist comment at school

It needs dealing with it but you know that.
I find it shameful that a cliquey group of parents have decided to make a group chat to slag off a 7 year old. I suspect some of them are enjoying the drama and gossip.
Speak to the school, do not engage or overly apologise to the parents.
Your son is 7 and still learning boundaries. These are adults who should know better.

The school can't "discipline" parents! They're not employees. In any case, if they "discipline" the other Mum for discussing it on a private WhatsApp chat of 15, they will then need to discipline OP for discussing it on a public forum of thousands.

A Mum whose child has just dealt with a racist incident at school is entitled to tell her friends how upset she is about it. Her friends are entitled to say that it is disgusting behaviour (and OP herself says she's disgusted by it on here!) and that they think the school should take action to discipline the child involved.

From what OP says, no-one on the WhatsApp group has insulted his disability, called HIM personally a disgusting child, or called for violence against him. They're just appalled by the behaviour and sympathetic to the victim.

OP I’m not sure you should punish your son for what was just a curious comment? I thought you had updated to say he just asked why her skin was dark and then referring to his own skin said he didn’t like dark skin? Sounds like there was no malicious intent so why the punishment??

Surely you just need to explain to him that it can be very sensitive to make remarks about other people’s bodies, and also offer some education around race and sensitivity.

you could also explain to him about why people have different coloured skin and melanin etc .

I feel like by punishing him for an unintentional offence you are actually introducing some sort of shame/ taboo/ censorship around race and racial differences which surely can’t be helpful or healthy for anyone?

School WhatsApp groups should be about missing PE kit and what time is the disco starting. They should NEVER be used to have a go at teachers or children. It sounds to me that parents making comments on this WhatsApp chat have got less sense than the 7 year old child. Quite frankly, they need to grow up.

The parents of the child who was upset have the right to raise their concern with the school. The school must discuss what was said with OP and her DS. Everyone else needs to butt out.

Personally I don’t think you should have punished your son OP but it’s done now, I think you should definitely draw a line under it now and give him lots of love. He’s seven, he’s a child, a confused child I imagine at so much drama, there’s no way he has made a racist comment with ill intent. I think the whole thing has been blown totally out of proportion, the What’s App group sound like the ones who need a good talking to. I do hope he can settle back down at school and get the support he needs.

OP - you are now acting in a similar way to the people on the WhatsApp

You are keeping your child off school.

You have made a leap yourself that now he is a victim of racism and that is why he said what he did.

You are saying its the school's fault and they need to do more sessions about diversity.

Etc etc

Wouldn't it be more rational to simply send your child to school and contact the school and ask them to look into it?

Honestly all the parents sound like they are the ones who need some sessions on diversity and bullying.

I had an issue relating to racism this week that I wasn’t happy with our school about. Anti-racism week. Asked to do certain things to support this. My child (autistic) said to a child not following the rules re this that they were racist and got pulled up for it. In his mind it was fine. The school had said follow these rules if you are not racist - the natural
progression was anyone not following was racist. It wasn’t helped with the school staff not understanding what week it was and thinking it was an anti bullying week so the context to the comment was missed. People jump to incorrect conclusions all the time and it’s not fair for the children involved.

Why be so unpleasant? The OP is doing her best to sort out the issue so why attack her?

@ellie09 I actually think most of your response has been quite reasonable. Please don't take my posts on this thread as personal criticism - I am frustrated by the Mumsnet commenters but I get that this is very stressful for you and I think you've handled it well under the circumstances. I don't mean my criticism of commenters (with no direct personal stake) to come off as an attack on you

i would expect adults to know that 7 year old children can come out with all sorts of nonsense. It should be dealt with sensibly by parents and school. It should not be discussed on a WhatsApp group.

Please see school leadership first thing on Monday. They need to help guide you both and perhaps help deal with other parents.

Don't be an arsehole. You are deliberately misinterpreting what she has said to make a point.

That is appalling. I would raise that with school. If that person has contributed in any way to the ‘discussion’ that should surely be a disciplinary offence.

It is possible they haven’t seen the chat - I’m not always good at keeping up with WhatsApp.

It's pretty obvious what the OP is at.

Ellie09 the sen assistant will not be commenting in any way if she has any sense.

Practice what you preach!

Many parents behave like this. They tell others, put nasty things on Facebook etc. They also march up to school shouting and carrying on without giving the school the chance to investigate. It is fairly standard behaviour. OP if your child did say what has been reported he needs a consequence and for someone to explain why it is so hurtful and unacceptable. However he is a seven year old with asd so the reaction needs to be proportionate. There is no need for him to be discussed on the WhatsApp. I would disengage. Speak to the school and ask them to deal with it in line with their behaviour policies.

Your delusional aren't you.

You have shown yourself to be doing the exact things you’re accusing me of. Take your own unwanted advice and stop being a hypocrite.

Not once has op or myself said that, however it is relevant.

Like the views of racists or enablers of racism on this thread are going to make me lose any sleep.

Lol you've literally just done what you've been accusing the op of! Hilarious! You can't be ableist because you disabled, okidokey. Op has done everything she can to educate her ds so this doesn't occur again. People like you just keep kicking her for no reason. It's pathetic. He's 7 and she's dealt with him appropriately.