DS made racist comment at school

Almost every culture has a “history of invading other countries” and I am not sure what this has to do with kids saying dumb/rude stuff.

Britain France and USA were the first countries to make slavery illegal and western civilization has lead the world in creating the most tolerant societies with strongest civil rights - particularly to vulnerable minorities, women, children, animals and environment. I am proud of MY culture.

I'm more concerned for the innocent little girl.

Your son having a brown skinned friend is irrelevant as is having asd to being racist. Hopefully this friend didn't hear him say that.

I see nothing wrong with the parents sharing this, especially if they have children who may be affected from hearing that.
It's not their or the little girls responsibility to make your kid feel better for being racist.

Nor are they obligated to speak with you, or owe it to you or your son not to tell anyone but the teacher.

racial comments not matter how trivial they may seem to some causes lasting damage to minority kids and they are looking out for their daughter as they should.

I don't really get why you want to escalate it further, just ask him to apologise (not force him as he shouldn't do it if he doesn't want to). Your son will be fine

I'm more concerned for the innocent little girl.

Your son having a brown skinned friend is irrelevant as is having asd to being racist. Hopefully this friend didn't hear him say that.

I see nothing wrong with the parents sharing this, especially if they have children who may be affected from hearing that.
It's not their or the little girls responsibility to make your kid feel better for being racist.

Nor are they obligated to speak with you, or owe it to you or your son not to tell anyone but the teacher.

racial comments not matter how trivial they may seem to some causes lasting damage to minority kids and they are looking out for their daughter as they should.

I don't really get why you want to escalate it further, just ask him to apologise (not force him as he shouldn't do it if he doesn't want to). Your son will be fine

7 year olds say all kinds of stupid stuff, some more than other. To make a big deal out of anything so petty is on them as people with too much moral outrage and not enough hobbies. Even my 11 year old girl has said things that I consider racist but she is IMMATURE and trying to be funny or edgy. As adults we need to gently remind and reprove children to be kind, humble, forgiving, compassionate- these parents are not modeling those virtues for their children. You don’t need to apologize. Your son should but the shaming and bullying people for racism is getting ridiculous. Victimhood is the new virtue.

Politicians invading other countries isn't the fault of the every day person. Any country should be able to control immigration so they people already there aren't affected negatively.

Politicians invading other countries isn't the fault of the every day person. Any country should be able to control immigration so they people already there aren't affected negatively.

Racism and bullying starts in secondary school especially if there is no culture in the town or village they grew up in. They know nothing of the world except for what's in front of them. Most of the time when my partner does a job in the village they always ask him "you live around here?" His response is "yea, round the corner, if you ever need anything walk round and knock my door". The look of horror is written all over their faces. It makes you wonder if they've put the house up for sale and he's told Marg that they have to quickly move.

I don't know how I survived the town I live in 16 years of hell it's only now it's getting better. Over 70% voted leave I hated living here. Now people from all parts of the world are coming to live here. It serves them right. This country has a history of invading and taking over other countries and yet no one can come here?

7 year olds say all kinds of stupid stuff, some more than other. To make a big deal out of anything so petty is on them as people with too much moral outrage and not enough hobbies. Even my 11 year old girl has said things that I consider racist but she is IMMATURE and trying to be funny or edgy. As adults we need to gently remind and reprove children to be kind, humble, forgiving, compassionate- these parents are not modeling those virtues for their children. You don’t need to apologize. Your son should but the shaming and bullying people for racism is getting ridiculous. Victimhood is the new virtue.

In the main we make allowances when 7 year olds make mistakes, especially social ones. We focus on helping that child to understand that what they have said is unacceptable and helping them to learn for the future. We do not expect them to arrive fully socially formed and aware.

The chances are he did not want to play with this girl for lots of reasons. Choosing friends is part of primary learning.

Whoever put this in a WA group was out of order - it is so easy for children to feel ostracized and parental piling in does not help. Who amongst us has not had a moment when a child of ours does something we wish they had not? - hit, spat, lost their tempers etc. - or like one of my little ones who asked why a fat lady approaching us in the street had "no knees" - we all have moments when we want the floor to swallow us up. We use it as a learning opportunity and make allowances for their immaturity, whilst at the same time being quite clear about what is acceptable or not.

I would speak to the girl's mother and say you are very sad to hear what your son said and that she can rest assured that you are dealing with this with your son. I am sure this girl has herself done things her mother would rather she had not - hopefully she will understand and will appreciate your seeking her out.

I think it is worth making the teacher aware of what has happened so that he/she can be on the alert for any discomfort from the girl involved.

Unfortunately I do not think you can do anything about what goes onto a private group chat. Fellow parents should understand that our children (especially when small) sometimes let us down.

My DS said he didn’t want to play with the boy in his preschool because he was brown. He was 3.5 back then. This year he said the same thing about another boy. I have no idea where it came from! I was mortified, we talked to him a lot about it. Just hoping he wont say it in school. Then he also said he didn’t want to play with his other classmate because he spoke another language (moved to the uk few months ago so isn’t fluent in English). I’m not British and my children speak two languages. It’s just bizarre why he’s saying these things. He’s not ND, and is a very kind boy and good friend otherwise.
he told me one evening they teach them at school about the fact that people with dark skin couldn’t do important jobs back in the days but now they can be doctors etc so it’s good. I just think it’s way too early to teach them about that?
im sure if he said it in school the judgment would be on parents probably being racist where it’s totally not the case in our house.

I don’t particularly like saying any of the terms as people are people to me. People can describe others or themselves whichever way they choose. Where I work, there are a lot of people who think it’s ok to refer to people from Pakistan using the shortened version of that word because their families are from India, although there were born in the UK but I would never use that word, I don’t think it’s ok.

I just don’t like to refer to people as black, I don’t like to refer to anyone’s skin colour as I just don’t see it necessary although I don’t pull other people up for using whatever word they feel to describe someone as I would probably spend most of my days in arguments.

It's put my mind at ease a bit - but also an important lesson not to take children's words as gospel! You can take them seriously and investigate further, but to then go to a group chat and broadcast to multiple others on an issue such as racism without having the facts is just frustrating.

Still, DS has been spoken to about not mentioning skin colour in conversations with his friends at school moving forward.

On medical forms it asks what is your ethnicity black British or white British not coloured. You wouldn't call a white person coloured would you.