Mother in law interfering?

You shouldn’t need to communicate boundaries but in this case you have to. Communication now might stop the relationship deteriorating. We stay at the other end of the country so don’t see our grandchild often, when we do I try to follow my daughters lead in style of upbringing, we spend more time at their house when SIL is at work, when he gets in I back off to the kitchen to give them family time and when we have eaten head back to our accommodation. I did love cuddles, and pushing the pram but tried to show some restraint. You need to agree with your wife what matters most and say that. So tell MIL that Sunday tea time and evening are for you three only.

Honestly don’t worry, they actually say a baby shouldn’t be in car seat any longer than 2hrs without stopping taking a break and get them out. But she was being closely watched and honestly you can tell when the position is causing breathing difficulties. My no7 child who is 1 next week was poorly when he was about 8 weeks was taking him to drs which is only 5 mins down road and I put him in the front passenger seat, so I could watch him closely and he unfortunately went down hill very fast due to his position in the car seat, it wasn’t slow it was super quick and noticeable, he stopped breathing and was blue lighted to hospital. Thankfully he was fine. I was understandably very worried about him going in his car seat ever again 🙈 they said that, a healthy baby the recommendation of 2hrs is the standard precautionary advice given, but providing they are watched etc and well a little longer is fine. But breaks and not being left alone when still napping after a car journey is fine but not over night sleeping or a regular napping place.

But knowing the recommendations can be very useful I know that when I had my first in 2007 it wasn’t really a thing the 2hr rule I’d never have known with my youngest if someone hadn’t told me. Parenthood is a huge learning curve we never know everything I always look at it, people can give advice and it costs nothing to listen, so hear it and do what you like with it. Act on it or ignore it. (That’s with anything and I’m thinking for the future when your mil says how she did it with your daughter 🙈😂 it will be annoying but all us mums do it at some point not to be annoying or controlling but just because we’ve been there and want to help.🙈) parenthood is hard. You think you crack it then boom they enter another phase and you feel like you are back to square one.

good luck it’s an amazing journey, hard but amazing

I think it’s totally normal for a grandparent to be eager to hold the baby once per week and to phone after an appointment to find out how the baby is. My mum and mil was the same and I thought it was nice, saying nana to her is normal too. You obviously just don’t want that close of a relationship with her but she seems nice and just sitting, it’s normal for a grandparent to love a grandchild as mum as their child too

Baby sleeps all night because your wife is an amazing mum?
Being an amazing mum has nothing to do with it.My first slept through the the night from 6 weeks old, his brother was exactly the opposite.He would wake up every two hours until four months old.Same mother different baby.
I am beginning to wonder if this thread is real.

The irony that if this was the Dads mother she'd be way overstepping and told to go no contact but because it's the Mom's mother its fine and 'mildly annoying'.. Shows the hypocrisy of how the Dads mom means less.

Out of interest did the quack sorry chiropractor record their treatment on babies medical records and red book etc

That’s quite a catalogue of wrongs you have assembled! She’s definitely overstepping in some ways (waking the baby up, taking it out of your arms) but the nana thing is nonsense.

The baby will say what it says, as a first word, and it’s unlikely to be anything clearly intelligible! It will be a sort of sound that all the adults will interpret however they wish.

Three things I would say.
Don’t get too madly hung up on firsts because it just leads to weird competition and unnecessary unhappiness.
Don’t ascribe all the baby’s behaviour to the adults around it. Your baby doesn’t sleep through the night because your wife is an amazing mum - sorry to say - or because your baby is “good“. Your baby sleeps through the night because that’s just what your baby is like.
And do push back firmly if your mil is taking away too much time that you want to spend with the baby, given that you have to go to work and it’s your child!

Sounds to me this post has been written by a woman.
I am yet to meet a man who worries about such thing ( and no, I don’t mean any of it in derogatory terms)

I'm not sure you can dictate where your mother in law lives unfortunately if she wants to move to the same village you have no say on the matter

It's very normal to say smile for nana smile for pops smile for daddy etc I think you are being a little over the top counting how many times she says it in a 48 hour period

She just sounds excited to have a grand child and you come across as hating her so every little thing she does is going to annoy you because you don't like her

You need to talk to your wife about how you feel as you are going to start resenting her for making you spend so much time with her mother and it sounds like your getting jealous of her spending more time with the baby than you are

Also sleeping through at 8 weeks is nothing to do with being an amazing mum or not

And why is 7:30pm nap time

I would not put up with this for one minute, I am a paternal grandmother and while I was very excited and happy when my first grandchild was born, and the others that followed her, I left it to the parents and never tried to interfere.I was working full time so had other things to do as well.The other grandmother was tMy own mother was also out working when my first child was born so I hardly saw her, my MIL came to cuddle the baby but did not stay long, I kept her at arms length and she knew it.
I would love to know if you have the same situation in a year's time, once the lovely new born baby stage is over and the novelty is worn off your MIL.You will see her less then, she will suddenly be "too busy" to visit as often
Other posters are right about the chiropractor.You are wasting your money and it could be dangerous.Both of my children had very traumatic births.They were born by emergency c section and were ripped out of me, one was cut by the scalpel behind his ear and the other had to have forceps applied to his head as it was jammed in my pelvis while still in the womb.This resulted in a large scratch on his cheek.I never heard of a chiropractor.
You must tell your wife her mother is becoming overbearing.My DH would ,not have put up with her behaving like that for one minute.I certainly would not, she would be told where to go very quickly.Especially if she tried to snatch the baby from our arms.I am sorry to tell you but she is obsessed and should be calmed down.

Do what you think is right. This is Your dc. The mil has had her turn. There are no rules so do exactly what you and dw think is right.

It sounds absolutely infuriating. I'm a woman and I'd be up in arms. And I think sometimes the mother-of-the-mother can start to think of herself as more important than the dad. I can't tell you what to do but I DO think you are justified in being cross.

She sounds like a total pain in the arse. The walking the baby up thing would royally piss me off. I had a MIL like this and lockdown was a relief I can tell you.

I have to second this.

Anyone reading this with baby issues like OP's were - Do NOT take your delicate little child to a bloody chiropractor they do NOT have medical qualifications like healthcare professionals!!!! They are fucking dangerous and CAN kill your baby.

@Woodenbones198901 wow! I would have told her nicely but firmly that it's annoying to hear "nana" all the time. And snatching her out of your arms and waking her up so she gets to see her. All I hear is "me, me ,me". She seems extremely self centered and I would avoid her as the plague. Tell your wife to see her when you're not around if you're not capable of telling her off when she's being disrespectful.

Ha! If you were a woman everyone would be saying tell your husband to tell his mother to back off a bit ! So that’s what you need to do ,tell your wife to tell her mother to back off .

Well in many cultures this is completely normal and while it can be annoying to you, in the grand scheme of things your dd is lucky to have such a loving granny. Cuddles, nanas, wanting to see her, asking how she is, coming over frequently etc... it's early days you're exhausted and finding your own style so it's normal for you to be irritated too. You'll find a balance. I grew up next door to my grandma and she told me I was her daughter and I loved her so much. If she is going against your parenting wishes e.g feeding her chocolate or smt that's different obv, but loving your dd? I don't think it's a big problem op. She's excited, there's no maliciousness there...

Does sound like she's being pretty over bearing, maybe leave it to your wife to have a gentle word though. If you don't nip it in the bud it will carry on like this and be harder to break the habit.

Just to let you know too, baby shouldn't be having naps in the car seat at home. She needs to be flat for all sleeps in a safe sleeping space, read up on positional asphyxiation.

Gokd luck with mother in law

I’d say mil living 50 minutes away means she doesn’t need to stay overnight. I don’t see why you can’t tell your wife your mil is upsetting you. Don’t LET her snatch the baby off you etc. You’re the parent, you’re allowed to put in boundaries.

I do feel that you need to try and have a little patience, she’s just very excited and very much in love even if overbearing 🙈. I am sure she will settle down given time.

I honestly don’t think she is doing all these things to offend nor undermine or take those precious moments away.

Her baby (your wife) has had a baby she is just overwhelmed with emotion and love. From how much you have contact with her etc I assume her and your wife have a very close relationship which is lovely of course, which is prob reason why she’s being so over powering. That’s not to undermine or to insinuate you haven’t an equally strong close bond with your parents but my mum said something to me when I had my children. All of my husbands family were excited to see the baby and come visit me to see the baby because it was exciting, their son had given them a grandchild. But my parents were excited but their main concern was me, they were worried about their baby girl who had a baby herself that with the excitement and love for their grandchild is a lot of emotions all at once maybe it’s in her nature to not cope well with emotion hence her extreme behaviour.

The nana thing isn’t her undermining the usual first words your baby will no doubt say. He answer to why was actually quite common. My mum always wore the same lovely perfume because she wanted my babies to recognise her and know who she was and associate her smell as her and feel safe. I found it rather odd at the time but they are all teens and they absolutely love that smell and think is rather cute.

the grabbing the baby, she won’t be doing it to take any time away from you she will just see that you undoubtedly get to enjoy your daughter more than she will get chance too and she just wants to grab every moment, just like you and your wife do. I bet she’d be upset if she thought she was doing it deliberately or causing resentment.

So basically I don’t doubt that she’s being overbearing but it will ease off it’s all very new for you all. It is hard to share our babies especially when so young and new. Try and have patience and see it for what I’m sure it is, love. And her saying she’s like her 3rd baby, it will because she has as much love for your little one as if she was her baby, that’s the kinda love you want for your little one. Unconditional love.

Sounds like pretty normal excitement especially if baby is a first grandchild.
My MIL was ecstatic when we had our first she now has multiple grandchildren, our oldest was her first and it’s all calmed down with subsequent grandchildren.
Now ours are older they aren’t so bothered as the kids aren’t cute and adoring anymore.
Id be glad you have a family member who cares enough to be interested, even if it’s a little OTT, it doesn’t sound like she’s doing anything that’s totally nuts, I see some MIL threads on here and wonder how people cope, yours sounds pretty typical and I’d be cautious about sounding off to your wife about it too much as she probably appreciates her mums attentiveness.

Why would it need to be for a full weekend as MIL lives 50 minutes away? Most people I know travel more than that each way to work Monday to Friday. Maybe cut down the time spent?

Sounds like a fairly typical case of irritation between in laws!
As for the baby, if she isn't better soon, cranial sacral osteopathy is wonderful for babies with pain or discomfort, and very gentle.