Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

16 month old assaulted should i have expected more support from the police?

190 replies

Absc · 10/11/2024 00:56

Feeling shaken up tonight a drunk person hit me, pushed my 3 year old over and my 16 month old who was in his pram she pushed the pram over i couldn't do anything to stop it happening. He did hit his head on the floor.

We have spent four hours at hospital who have said they don't think he has any significant head injuries. He has pre existing conditions that mean any head injuries have to be seen in a&e as he has false signs already for a bleed in brain etc so signs to look for concern are already there on him. At five months old he had an emergency mri with drs thinking he had a bleed on the brain.

This was at a family event. The attack was by a completely unknown person who doesn't live in the village. It took the police 33 minutes to attend. The dispatcher said they were coming from the local station 4 minutes away. By this point the woman had now disappeared. She had made further threats of harm - she had told people apparently we were pushing in and that's why she turned around and hit me then went for my children. We were in fact trying to find my son's friend who had walked off and with 400 people there it was difficult to see. The organisers were in the main area where we were heading to ask for assistance.

I don't know if i'm in the wrong but i feel very let down by the police not attending until too late, they said that they would have no chance of trying to find the person now and would only look if someone had significant injury. To me this is clearly a very volatile person and this happened to us they could well do this again. They said they would call in a few days time to check the child has no further injuries. My other child was literally telling the police that he had been pushed over by a lady and that she had chucked a drink at him. Police response we don't need or want to speak to the child.

Or is this now what society has turned into and is it normal to go to family events and have aggressive people / drunk people at 6pm in the evening.

OP posts:
SunQueen24 · 10/11/2024 07:02

That sounds really distressing OP, so sorry you’ve experienced that.

RedHelenB · 10/11/2024 06:57

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

This. Did no one intervene at all? Surely someone must kniw who she is, I'd be demanding the police go and speak to her.

Edingril · 10/11/2024 06:49

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:17

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in? You don't wait for the police to come and sort of conflicts. The police in this country are severely understaffed and seriously struggling to recruit, the force is pretty much running on fumes running to and from the same wife beaters and junkies who cause issues all the time. That woman got away with hurting your baby and child, you would have got away with defending them too.

And if the person died you could just walk away and not go to jail the police and courts would just say 'you are free to go, nothing to see here'

I do wonder the collective brain cells of posters on here sometimes

Moonlightstars · 10/11/2024 06:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What a stupid response.
At that point the OP would have gone into protective mode. And done everything to make sure her children were safe.
In your head that probably means beating the shit out of someone. But that actually is most likely to result in escalation of the situation. It will almost certainly result in the children being more frightened. It could result in them / her being further hurt if this woman is stronger and more violent. Or could result in her being the one the one that gets arrested. None of which is a better outcome than the perpetrator running away particularly for the children.

sel2223 · 10/11/2024 06:47

How absolutely awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

This is the flip side of years of government cuts to the Police and other emergency services unfortunately, what you've described has (completely wrongly might i add) become the 'norm' .
Less resources, local stations closed, less vehicles, struggles to recruit .....as you can imagine that's had a huge impact on response times and the service police are able to provide.
It's an absolute shambles and downright dangerous as the government was told it would be.
You need to complain, it's unlikely to change anything but at least you're doing something to try and effect change.

OptimismvsRealism · 10/11/2024 06:46

👀@ the self described street fighters

The woman was deranged - how do you imagine a typical woman is going to engage with her physically?

Agree well worth getting on social media to ask if anyone saw

The police response was shit but I do think we need to stop expecting anything from them at this point so we won't be disappointed

Mlanket · 10/11/2024 06:44

What if she was carrying a knife or a weapon? I would be cautious to offer this advice

It’s stupid advice, you really have to weigh up the person & the situation in split seconds. I grew up in a rough part of London & can look after myself but the main thing I learnt was when to confront & when to deescalate.

Mlanket · 10/11/2024 06:41

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in?

How many peoples heads have you caved in? How many physical fights have you been in? Do you carry a weapon in case someone who attacked you has one on them?

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 06:40

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:17

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in? You don't wait for the police to come and sort of conflicts. The police in this country are severely understaffed and seriously struggling to recruit, the force is pretty much running on fumes running to and from the same wife beaters and junkies who cause issues all the time. That woman got away with hurting your baby and child, you would have got away with defending them too.

What if she was carrying a knife or a weapon? I would be cautious to offer this advice.

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 06:38

Op use your mental health training to explain to your child that the lady isn’t very well and needs help. That almost certainly she didn’t mean to harm anyone. He is going to need lots of reassurance. It will have shaken his view of the world.
Why did you send him to gps? Surely he would have wanted to stay close to your after this?

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CitrineRaindropPhoenix · 10/11/2024 06:26

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:17

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in? You don't wait for the police to come and sort of conflicts. The police in this country are severely understaffed and seriously struggling to recruit, the force is pretty much running on fumes running to and from the same wife beaters and junkies who cause issues all the time. That woman got away with hurting your baby and child, you would have got away with defending them too.

FFS. Just think about why not maybe?

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:17

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in? You don't wait for the police to come and sort of conflicts. The police in this country are severely understaffed and seriously struggling to recruit, the force is pretty much running on fumes running to and from the same wife beaters and junkies who cause issues all the time. That woman got away with hurting your baby and child, you would have got away with defending them too.

LaMarschallin · 10/11/2024 06:13

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

So you'd have left your two children, one who'd been pushed over and the other in an overturned pram, while you did...what?
Not sure about the "most illegal way possible" - stabbed her, perhaps? Or just rolled around on the floor wrestling with her?
You probably call yourself a "fierce Mumma bear" too.
Most mothers' "instinctive" response would have been to look after their children as the OP did. It certainly wouldn't be to endanger their children's futures by doing something that could potentially lead to jail time.
Some people talk absolute nonsense on here.

Differentstarts · 10/11/2024 06:08

Put a post up on your local Facebook group to see if anyone witnessed or had any footage of this woman. People are always filming something especially at an event

ChaosHol1 · 10/11/2024 06:00

Sneezeless · 10/11/2024 05:32

So no-one intervened? Not one person at a seemingly crowded event?

It's called the bystander effect, a man literally raped a woman on a train full of people and no one did anything.

Op, I'm so sorry this happened the police response in time and to the situation is shocking. I hope you can all recover from this, your three year old will likely be so confused.

Mymanyellow · 10/11/2024 05:57

Did nobody out of 400 people know who she was? I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

TreeCake · 10/11/2024 05:51

Sneezeless · 10/11/2024 05:32

So no-one intervened? Not one person at a seemingly crowded event?

I really cannot understand why you’re doubting the OPs post at all. She’s quite clearly had an absolutely awful thing happen to her and her children and you’re picking holes in the story. Even if they’d intervened, what would they have done? restrained her for 30 mins until the police arrived?

Sneezeless · 10/11/2024 05:32

So no-one intervened? Not one person at a seemingly crowded event?

Simonjt · 10/11/2024 05:25

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

I thnk we found the attacker

wombat1a · 10/11/2024 05:15

The police are not being funded, look at all the rural stations that are now closed. Then look at things like the lack of community support/mental health support are 6pm each day and at the weekend so that then falls to the police and its no wonder that an incident such as yours isn't a priority. Once the woman has left the scene theres no much the police can do unless another witness names her.

Sorry OP but that is the state of the country now.

JustJoinedRightNow · 10/11/2024 03:56

Yes @Reserved101 the poor little baby who had hot coffee poured on him was absolutely awful. He's been so brave enduring surgeries and his parents are so brave too. Poor little thing

Reserved101 · 10/11/2024 03:26

JustJoinedRightNow · 10/11/2024 03:17

This is horrible OP.
It happened here in Australia in a shopping centre recently. A woman walked up to a mum holding a little baby and punched the little baby. Completely shocking. The police sent out cctv images and she was apprehended. I'm sorry more wasn't done to help you.

Geez, I googled for that and there have been loads of instances of random attacks on babies in Austalia in recent years, and the one who has life changing injuries from having hot coffee poured over him.

So many scumbags around.

Notaurewhy · 10/11/2024 03:21

"This year someone's posted on social media"

Obviously not for tonight but this needs looking at. I hope you and your little ones are all ok after tonight.

JustJoinedRightNow · 10/11/2024 03:17

This is horrible OP.
It happened here in Australia in a shopping centre recently. A woman walked up to a mum holding a little baby and punched the little baby. Completely shocking. The police sent out cctv images and she was apprehended. I'm sorry more wasn't done to help you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread