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Original poster

16 month old assaulted should i have expected more support from the police?

190 replies

Absc · 10/11/2024 00:56

Feeling shaken up tonight a drunk person hit me, pushed my 3 year old over and my 16 month old who was in his pram she pushed the pram over i couldn't do anything to stop it happening. He did hit his head on the floor.

We have spent four hours at hospital who have said they don't think he has any significant head injuries. He has pre existing conditions that mean any head injuries have to be seen in a&e as he has false signs already for a bleed in brain etc so signs to look for concern are already there on him. At five months old he had an emergency mri with drs thinking he had a bleed on the brain.

This was at a family event. The attack was by a completely unknown person who doesn't live in the village. It took the police 33 minutes to attend. The dispatcher said they were coming from the local station 4 minutes away. By this point the woman had now disappeared. She had made further threats of harm - she had told people apparently we were pushing in and that's why she turned around and hit me then went for my children. We were in fact trying to find my son's friend who had walked off and with 400 people there it was difficult to see. The organisers were in the main area where we were heading to ask for assistance.

I don't know if i'm in the wrong but i feel very let down by the police not attending until too late, they said that they would have no chance of trying to find the person now and would only look if someone had significant injury. To me this is clearly a very volatile person and this happened to us they could well do this again. They said they would call in a few days time to check the child has no further injuries. My other child was literally telling the police that he had been pushed over by a lady and that she had chucked a drink at him. Police response we don't need or want to speak to the child.

Or is this now what society has turned into and is it normal to go to family events and have aggressive people / drunk people at 6pm in the evening.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 10/11/2024 08:18

Yalta · 10/11/2024 08:11

If it takes that long then there is a problem with the whole system

Maybe if they actually investigated all crimes it would actually make their jobs easier because only a tiny percentage of people actually commit most of the crime

Why are they waiting until someone is actually killed or seriously hurt before doing something

My car was stolen by what I was told was a prolific car thief. When they found it the guy had left his mobile phone and glasses in the car.
Along with a lot of other identifying stuff

Police were not interested. They would rather waste time filling out 3 lots of paperwork each week (the amount of cars he regularly steals)than spend a little time taking this guy off the streets altogether

Show quote history

Maybe you should actually read what that poster wrote and stop blaming the police themselves for the lack of resources they’re forced to work with.

Theunamedcat · 10/11/2024 08:16

Put it out on social media asking for witnesses?

Rosscameasdoody · 10/11/2024 08:14

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

Unless you were there you have absolutely no idea as to whether circumstances would have allowed this person to be stopped without others being hurt, so put your righteous indignation and accusatory tone away.

Yalta · 10/11/2024 08:11

Redglitter · 10/11/2024 01:24

Absolutely shocking that you had to wait so long for the police to arrive as I would've expected something like this to be considered an emergency as children were in danger and physically assaulted

Unfortunately it's not unusual. I'm s Police Despatcher & allocating cops to calls is my main role. If its taken 33 minutes to get to what you've described then that's genuinely the quickest they could get there. I cant tell you how often I have a priority call sitting and genuinely have absolutely noone I can send. Its then a case of waiting for someone or going round my other colleagues to see if they have a resource I can use.

I sent one of my cars to assist in another area even blue lighting it took 24 minutes to get there

As a Despatcher I'd say PLEASE do complain about the response time. Its the only slight - very slight - we have of things improving

If it takes that long then there is a problem with the whole system

Maybe if they actually investigated all crimes it would actually make their jobs easier because only a tiny percentage of people actually commit most of the crime

Why are they waiting until someone is actually killed or seriously hurt before doing something

My car was stolen by what I was told was a prolific car thief. When they found it the guy had left his mobile phone and glasses in the car.
Along with a lot of other identifying stuff

Police were not interested. They would rather waste time filling out 3 lots of paperwork each week (the amount of cars he regularly steals)than spend a little time taking this guy off the streets altogether

Jeezitneverends · 10/11/2024 07:58

Redglitter · 10/11/2024 01:24

Absolutely shocking that you had to wait so long for the police to arrive as I would've expected something like this to be considered an emergency as children were in danger and physically assaulted

Unfortunately it's not unusual. I'm s Police Despatcher & allocating cops to calls is my main role. If its taken 33 minutes to get to what you've described then that's genuinely the quickest they could get there. I cant tell you how often I have a priority call sitting and genuinely have absolutely noone I can send. Its then a case of waiting for someone or going round my other colleagues to see if they have a resource I can use.

I sent one of my cars to assist in another area even blue lighting it took 24 minutes to get there

As a Despatcher I'd say PLEASE do complain about the response time. Its the only slight - very slight - we have of things improving

Adding police dispatcher solidarity! It’s utterly shit and no one in the service is able to do the job the way it should be done due to lack of resources

Lemonadeand · 10/11/2024 07:54

This is just awful. I’m not surprised in the police response to be honest but I wish your family all the best.

Edingril · 10/11/2024 07:53

sel2223 · 10/11/2024 07:19

Why do I feel like there is more to this story?

You mean like why it hasn't made the news?

McCheck · 10/11/2024 07:48

Hope you and your kids are okay and able to live on from this appalling attack. What low life pushes two kids to the ground? Sending lots of good wishes to you and your family

whatkatydid2014 · 10/11/2024 07:47

OP that sounds really awful. I hope you are feeling a bit less shaky today. Definitely put in a complaint. It’s a serious thing to push over a pram with a small child in it and the consequences could have been dire. It may well be the police lack the resources to do anything but that doesn’t make the overall situation acceptable and maybe complaints are one of the things that help highlight the inadequacies in the current level of “service” (I’m sure there is a better word to use but can’t think what it is) the police are able to offer

ThisZippyDenimGoose · 10/11/2024 07:47

I’m sorry that happened to you and hope everybody is ok. 28 minutes as an emergency response is unfortunately not unheard of. They may not have been in the police station 4 minutes away, they could have been out responding to something or they could have been at the station but dealing with something else. Sometimes there are very few officers available to respond, sign of the times.

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 10/11/2024 07:46

I don’t think the police time was unreasonable. It wasn’t life and death.

I think if anything the fault lies with the organisers. Why was there no security at an event that size? Why was she allowed to leave the event? Why did no-one else intervene?

whatkatydid2014 · 10/11/2024 07:39

ChaosHol1 · 10/11/2024 06:00

It's called the bystander effect, a man literally raped a woman on a train full of people and no one did anything.

Op, I'm so sorry this happened the police response in time and to the situation is shocking. I hope you can all recover from this, your three year old will likely be so confused.

Show quote history

I have seen this happen. It’s like everyone expects someone else will do something and they are just watching. I recall years back coming out of a meeting and a colleague who was known to be unwell had collapsed just moments before and was having a fit. So many people were just standing around looking worried/shocked but no one had actually done anything. I sent someone to get the onsite occupational health person who would have his medical details while I phoned for an ambulance and moved stuff away from him so he couldn’t hit it while having the fit with a couple of colleagues. Once I started doing something most people snapped right out of it. I think with having arrived after he’d collapsed I avoided the initial shock of it so wasn’t left frozen where they were just stuck at something so unexpected happening. but it was such a weird thing.

olympicsrock · 10/11/2024 07:33

Horrific that this happened, but I don’t think the response time is awful

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 07:30

Absc · 10/11/2024 07:29

Grandparents live by us i am
a solo parent and didn't think it was appropriate for me to take him into a&e knowing we wokld be there for 4 plus hours and that environment isn't ideal. I didn't want him seeing saturday night drunk people, or any distressed children / teens in a&e.

Show quote history

Completely understandable, and lucky they were so close op. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your little dc. It is disgraceful and very upsetting.

Original poster
Absc · 10/11/2024 07:29

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 06:38

Op use your mental health training to explain to your child that the lady isn’t very well and needs help. That almost certainly she didn’t mean to harm anyone. He is going to need lots of reassurance. It will have shaken his view of the world.
Why did you send him to gps? Surely he would have wanted to stay close to your after this?

Grandparents live by us i am
a solo parent and didn't think it was appropriate for me to take him into a&e knowing we wokld be there for 4 plus hours and that environment isn't ideal. I didn't want him seeing saturday night drunk people, or any distressed children / teens in a&e.

OP posts:
rainydays03 · 10/11/2024 07:28

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

Agreed!!

Saveusernsme · 10/11/2024 07:22

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 06:38

Op use your mental health training to explain to your child that the lady isn’t very well and needs help. That almost certainly she didn’t mean to harm anyone. He is going to need lots of reassurance. It will have shaken his view of the world.
Why did you send him to gps? Surely he would have wanted to stay close to your after this?

OP was at A&E with the baby…

sel2223 · 10/11/2024 07:19

Why do I feel like there is more to this story?

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 07:19

Devonshiregal · 10/11/2024 07:12

Quite honestly no. Please don’t tell a child that he should essentially forgive this woman harming him, his mother and his BABY sibling! Teach him it’s not acceptable. Teach him some people are bad and if they show you they’re bad to get as far away as possible and keep them out your life. Do not set him up for a life of empathising with other people’s mental health problems.

Show quote history

Then you leave the child fearful and terrified of a repeat, that anyone ‘bad’ can turn on a knife edge. It’s not about empathy at all, it is about the child’s feelings of safety. You create fearful, anxious, hyper vigilant children otherwise. It’s not helpful to their development at all. This is a one off and unlikely to ever happen again, this should be made clear to the child in language they understand.

The woman without a doubt will have some serious issues, as it’s not normal to stagger around attacking babies.

Op. Tomorrow contact your MP and get them involved. It’s not acceptable for this situation to have happened, and the police response has been utterly woeful.

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 07:14

Mlanket · 10/11/2024 06:44

What if she was carrying a knife or a weapon? I would be cautious to offer this advice

It’s stupid advice, you really have to weigh up the person & the situation in split seconds. I grew up in a rough part of London & can look after myself but the main thing I learnt was when to confront & when to deescalate.

Especially in this case she has two defenceless children with you! You can’t escalate in that situation. It would be endangering their lives.

Assuming pp seriously injured this woman - and it was considered self defence, you can still be charged and prosecuted for ABH or GBH. Reasonable self defence is not the same as ‘caving’ someone’s head in 🙃

Devonshiregal · 10/11/2024 07:12

Artistbythewater · 10/11/2024 06:38

Op use your mental health training to explain to your child that the lady isn’t very well and needs help. That almost certainly she didn’t mean to harm anyone. He is going to need lots of reassurance. It will have shaken his view of the world.
Why did you send him to gps? Surely he would have wanted to stay close to your after this?

Quite honestly no. Please don’t tell a child that he should essentially forgive this woman harming him, his mother and his BABY sibling! Teach him it’s not acceptable. Teach him some people are bad and if they show you they’re bad to get as far away as possible and keep them out your life. Do not set him up for a life of empathising with other people’s mental health problems.

notbeenagreatday · 10/11/2024 07:10

I'm so shocked no one stood up for you and got involved OP and I hope you and your children are ok and recover fully. Symptom of living in 2024 I suppose and the walk on by culture that no one intervened or got hold of this woman and detained her until the police arrived

SwanSong1 · 10/11/2024 07:07

Absc · 10/11/2024 00:56

Feeling shaken up tonight a drunk person hit me, pushed my 3 year old over and my 16 month old who was in his pram she pushed the pram over i couldn't do anything to stop it happening. He did hit his head on the floor.

We have spent four hours at hospital who have said they don't think he has any significant head injuries. He has pre existing conditions that mean any head injuries have to be seen in a&e as he has false signs already for a bleed in brain etc so signs to look for concern are already there on him. At five months old he had an emergency mri with drs thinking he had a bleed on the brain.

This was at a family event. The attack was by a completely unknown person who doesn't live in the village. It took the police 33 minutes to attend. The dispatcher said they were coming from the local station 4 minutes away. By this point the woman had now disappeared. She had made further threats of harm - she had told people apparently we were pushing in and that's why she turned around and hit me then went for my children. We were in fact trying to find my son's friend who had walked off and with 400 people there it was difficult to see. The organisers were in the main area where we were heading to ask for assistance.

I don't know if i'm in the wrong but i feel very let down by the police not attending until too late, they said that they would have no chance of trying to find the person now and would only look if someone had significant injury. To me this is clearly a very volatile person and this happened to us they could well do this again. They said they would call in a few days time to check the child has no further injuries. My other child was literally telling the police that he had been pushed over by a lady and that she had chucked a drink at him. Police response we don't need or want to speak to the child.

Or is this now what society has turned into and is it normal to go to family events and have aggressive people / drunk people at 6pm in the evening.

It's not life or death for heavens sake.,

Attelina · 10/11/2024 07:06

Horrendous.

I agree with a previous post about posting on your local Facebook post about the incident. Write calmly and don't use insults such as 'drunk bitch' etc.

You did the right thing in attending to your children because I'd you had retaliated to the woman, in her drunken state she may well have seriously injured you such as knocking you out and then your children would have been at the mercy of someone in the crowd helping them.

pinkstripeycat · 10/11/2024 07:04

There aren’t a group of police officers sitting at the station 4 mins away waiting for your call. They often cover areas over many miles and if they are 50 miles away they aren’t going to get to you in 4 minutes.

Police are under huge pressure due to lack of staff. It’s no one wonder there isn’t a huge intake of emergency workers when there is always someone complaining about them or attacking them.

Nothing they say or do seems to be right. The public always know better and have an opinion on how the police should handle things despite having no clue of how it actually works.

They aren’t robots. Also despite what some folk say they aren’t on great money, they aren’t allowed to strike and they can’t ask for a pay rise.

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